Got a one-way ticket on the Disoriented Express...

Why look, I haven't posted in almost a year...

2010-01-19T12:52:00.003-05:00

So I suspect no one is reading this anymore. :)

Anyway. Turned 42 yesterday, had a good birthday weekend. Am quite happy with my life: good family, good friends, career I enjoy -- I can't complain. :)

And ok. I'm not a poet; I don't pretend to be. But I was feeling deeply last night, and this is what came out...

(And if my inspiration is reading this, thank you. You know who you are. ;) )

-=-=-

Always before, it was the roaring surf,
The tidal wave,
Rushing in and dragging me out to sea.
Will I or won't I? It didn't matter:
I was in over my head,
Tempest-tossed, without choice,
Swept away in emotional turmoil,
That, often as not, ended as quickly as it began,
Leaving me stranded on the shore,
Gasping for breath--
And alone.

This... this is different.
A quieter beginning; a slow crescendo.
I examine, I wade, I explore.
No submerged rocks, nothing lurking in the depths,
Nothing but waves lapping gently at my feet,
Inviting me, beguiling me with possibility:
"Come on in-- the water's fine."

And so.
I stand at the edge,
Gather my courage,
And choose to dive.

And fine it is.
The water is clear and cool,
Over my head, but not drowning me.
Exhilarated, joyful, unafraid,
I surface, taking clean, even strokes:
Years of thrashing against the current has made me stronger.
The water surrounds me and supports me.
No longer at the mercy of the undertow,
I duck beneath another wave and come out laughing.
Finally I understand
just how much fun this can be!

As of today, I no longer have 'children'...

2009-02-06T15:16:00.001-05:00

...I have TEENAGERS!

Yes, my daughter turned 13 today.

Actually, 2009 is a significant year for me in the parenting realm - this year, one turns 13, one turns 16...

(Yeesh. How am I this old? :) )

Snowpocalypse 2009!

2009-01-28T10:16:00.003-05:00

So far, it's made it to tied for 7th on the list of largest snows in Indy: http://www.crh.noaa.gov/news/display_cmsstory.php?wfo=ind&storyid=21458&source=0

But it's nothing to us 'old fogies' who remember the Blizzard of '78. :)

(WOW, that makes me sound old...)

What's bad is my car isn't starting. Not that I could get it out of my complex yet anyway, but it'd be nice if it would run once the roads get cleared. Thank goodness I can work from home.

What's worse is my daughter is sick, on the day we get the most snow she's seen in her lifetime, so she can't go out and play in it! I suspect I will hear MUCH whining later on... :)

I live in a BLUE STATE!!!!!

2008-11-05T02:22:00.002-05:00

And I didn't have to move to do it!

It's way too late, but we had to stay up and watch Obama's acceptance speech. And then I made the mistake of getting on line and hitting sites like Google's election coverage site, and fivethirtyeight.com ... not good when I should be sleeping.

But at least I was awake when Indiana -finally- got called.

I've never lived in a blue state. Well, Indiana's had a lot of Democratic governors (and currently has a Republican... surprisingly, one I approve of, because he strikes me as a lot closer to what a Republican is supposed to be than what the party's become)... but this state has went for the GOP in presidential elections since before I was born.

But not now!

Lookie, my vote COUNTED this time.

My conservative friends (yes, I have a couple) tell me, "Yeah, let's see how happy you are about this come April 15 when your taxes go up." I find myself thinking of the scene in 1776, when John Adams and I believe Rutledge are arguing (as always), and Rutledge seems to think that Adams is pushing for independence because "your taxes are too high -- well sir, so are mine." When the point was NOT that the taxes were high, or not primarily the point; the point was that policy was being imposed from a government that seemed to be totally disconnected from those whom it governed. That the colonists felt disempowered, and disenfranchised, and insignificant, to those who were supposed to lead them.

And I think that's how many of us have felt for the past 8 years. I don't think staunch conservatives -understand- how totally disenfranchised so many of us have felt. How disempowered we've felt. How it has seemed like everyone in 'power' stood for beliefs, ideas, and paradigms that felt so totally alien to me. And how much it has felt like they absolutely did not care one iota how the 'average American' felt: they had their own agenda, and to **** with anyone else.

I keep hearing, "it's the economy, stupid." Or else I hear that it's about race. But I don't think that's been the whole story at all.

I think Barak Obama will be our next POTUS because he has the gift of empowering leadership. He has gotten a record number of people engaged in the political process this time around, because somehow he's managed to give people a vision of a nation where each person -matters-.

Yes, the economy is a large problem, but I think it's only one part of a larger problem, one that started with Vietnam and has never quite went away: a sense of disillusionment. With the government. With the 'system.' With our leadership.

Obama has reminded us that this country was not just founded on the promise of financial opportunity. It was founded on the promise of -ideaological- opportunity. Of liberty and equality.

Until now, it's been fashionable to be cynical. But I think that's been to hide the pain we've felt as a society, for being so let down, for falling so short of our ideals.

And now, suddenly, it seems that this election tells us that the idealists are still a majority in this country after all.

THAT gives me hope.

My kid's gonna be in a hurricane!

2008-09-12T14:19:00.003-04:00

But safely, in Austin, where they're expecting rain and wind, but nothing else.

Unlike the poor folks in Houston/Galveston, who it looks like are going to get hit HARD.

http://www.wunderground.com/blog/JeffMasters/comment.html?entrynum=1082&tstamp=200809

But, he did get a half-day off school today, because thousands of the evacuees are heading towards Austin and they're trying to keep the kids from getting caught in the evacuation traffic. (And freeing up schools to serve as shelters...)

You know, I'd wondered why they had make-up days on his school calendar. I'm used to having them because of snow, but that's obviously not an issue in Austin. :)

Now I know... to make up for 'hurricane days'!

What a belated 15th birthday present for him, huh.

(How is it possible that I am the mother of a 15-year-old now???)

Ooh, music...

2008-08-26T15:51:00.007-04:00

I'm now in love with imeem.com - especially since some kind soul has uploaded the entirety of my favorite album of all time*, which I have made into a playlist for those of you who would like to share:

Spock's Beard's "Snow" on imeem.com

This is a concept album - the "story" it's telling, and the lyrics to the songs, are here:

http://www.spocksbeard.com/discography/snow.html

In other news, my daughter is doing well in 7th (!!) grade [in Indy], my son started high school today (!!!!!) [in Austin], and I'm now working out of our new office on the west side, which is pretty darned cool. Since it's only 4 of us, and we all know each other, it's still not a formal 'workplace' but definitely makes it easier to communicate.

Besides which, I got to help with the layout and design of the office space, so it feels more personal to me, I guess. :)

* Note: Great Big Sea is still my favorite band of all time (and you can use that link to hear some of my favorite songs by them). However, Spock's Beard wins my personal award for putting together the best album. :)

My boy has moved!

2008-07-10T17:05:00.003-04:00

I lost the bet; I cried at the airport. :)

Kids are off on their usual summer jaunt to their Dad's... but only my daughter will return; my son has decided to move in with his dad and become a Texan! Since he's starting high school this year (can you IMAGINE???) it was a logical year to make the transition if he was going to do it.

And, because I'm me and therefore incapable of feeling without analyzing :) I noticed a difference between feeling sad and being upset. I'm not upset about his moving. I don't tell myself any negative stories about it ('he doesn't love me, I'm being abandoned, etc.') I know he loves me; I'm fortunate in that I don't ever question that from my kids. And, I understand that a teenage guy really needs a DAD around as he's growing up, and that the ADHD probably will do better in the more structured household that isn't being run by a grown-up ADHDer. :) I'm excited that he has the opportunity, because he's going to get to go to a very good high school, one of the best in the country; and I'm proud of him for having the courage to take what is a big leap into the unknown for an almost-15-year-old.

And, even though I am not upset about his move, I am sad that I won't see him very often (yearly visits, like his dad gets now), and won't see the day-to-day changes, and be there when he comes home from his first date, and when he gets his license (OK, maybe I won't be sad about missing THAT part. I have enough grey hairs already, thanks! :) ) and all that. Little stuff, like not being with him on his birthday.

Ah, change. You'd think that since it's constant, we'd all get more used to it, but no one really seems to, do they?

I has a generation!

2008-07-08T07:28:00.004-04:00

I'm not Gen X. I'm not a baby boomer.

I'm Generation Jones.

Makes sense to me.

* Note: Yes, the technical 'end date' for Jones is '65. But a) some demographic studies argue '67 or '68 and I think that's more accurate. b) Most of my classmates were born 65-67, and I contend that you get raised based on what grade you're in, not what age you are, when you're a 'different' age than most of your classmates. c) I can tell you that even when we were in high school, we knew that starting about two grades after me, people were -different-. Significantly different attitudes, actions, paradigms. Had we thought more deeply about it, we would indeed have said that they were far more cynical than we were. Therefore, my experience was that Generation X started, at least where I grew up, with people who graduated high school in about '87. I would argue that Generation Jones consists of those who graduated high school between about '74 through '85 or '86.

High Tech, meet Pop Culture

2008-06-19T23:33:00.003-04:00

This is too fun.

First of all, we get what may be really-for-true confirmation of water on Mars, which is a spiffy thing.

But how it got announced to the world is even more fun:

NASA's Phoenix has a Twitter page.

So the announcement of water wasn't through some formal press release, or a guy in a NASA suit standing awkwardly in front of a microphone.

It was the rover itself, saying, "Are you ready to celebrate? Well, get ready: We have ICE!!!!! Yes, ICE, *WATER ICE* on Mars! w00t!!! Best day ever!!" to 20,000+ people on Twitter.

(Obviously, it would have been "Best. Day. Evah." if they didn't have to be careful how many characters they send, due to the 140 character limit on Twitter. :) )

Now that's amusing!

(See also http://blog.wired.com/wiredscience/2008/06/the-real-value.html and http://blog.wired.com/wiredscience/2008/06/mars-phoenix-tw.html for more)

So Tired Of Rain

2008-06-13T16:19:00.004-04:00

Last summer, we had a drought, and I really really missed storms.

ENOUGH ALREADY! We've made up for the lack and THEN SOME!!!

But... it's not been too bad in Indy. However, a friend of mine in Columbus, about 40 miles south, had quite a different experience:

http://members.aol.com/timster132/flood/2008indianaflood01.html

Really makes you grateful for what you have...

18 hours without power, whee!

2008-05-31T18:09:00.002-04:00

But given the storms that ripped through here last night, and that ours is back up when IPL says some people won't have power until Tuesday, I guess I can't complain. No damage here: a few large tree limbs down, but not -on- anything. Just a long dark night was all...

Meme: One Word

2008-05-05T14:45:00.001-04:00

Subject: One word....

You can only type ONE Word!

Not as easy as you might think. Now copy or forward, change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It's really hard to only use one word answers. You can only type one word.

1. Where is your cell phone? charger
2. Where is your significant other? universe
3. Your hair color? variable
4. Your mother? wounded
5. Your father? lonely
6. Your favorite thing? possibility
7. Your dream last night? unremembered
8. Your dream/goal? growth
9. Your favorite job? inspiring
10. The room you're in? bedroom
11. Your hobby? teaching
12. Your fear? stagnation
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? centered
14. Your favorite place to relax? nature
15. What you're not? rigid
16. Muffins? chocolate
17. Top of your wish list? peace
18. Where you grew up? Brazil
19. What were you doing before you sat at your computer? resting
20. What are you wearing? clothing
21. Last thing you watched on TV? producers
when? 10:00
22. Describe your pet. dead
23. What kind of car do you drive? olds
24. Your life right now? hopeful
25. What is your mood today? renewed
26. Missing someone? sometimes

27. Do you have any regrets in life? some

28. Your favorite store? goodwill
29. Something you're not wearing? bra (woot! :) )
30. Your summer? freedom
31. Love someone? many

32. Your favorite color? green
33. When is the last time you laughed? Today
34. Last time you cried? past
35. Who will resend this? unknown

Happy April Fools Day!

2008-04-01T15:07:00.002-04:00

Google has done their usual amusing 'adjustments' today, I see.

Actually, I found the whole list of 'em on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Google's_hoaxes

I think TiSP was the best of them all. :)

What a night...

2008-03-14T02:30:00.004-04:00

I have spent way too much time with doctors this winter with my kids. I don't think I remembered to blog that my daughter fractured her middle finger in January. Was in a splint for 6 weeks (and couldn't play the viola all that time!), but all is well with her now.

Well, tonight I just got home from the ER. My son has not been able to hold down food since Monday, and has been off school all week. So tonight I took him to the urgent care center ('cause regular doctor office hours suck when you're a working single parent). Urgent care doctor found tenderness in the lower right abdominal quadrant. Said it was still quite possible that it was a virus... but given the location of the worst tenderness, appendicitis was enough of a possibility that he wanted me to take him in to the ER to get checked. Tonight.

So I went home and got my daughter, 'cause she doesn't like being at home alone at night (understandably).

And we were there until 1 freaking 30 am. To find that, of course (but thank heavens) it was NOT appendicitis.

Fun things from the evening: My son's veins SUCK. They couldn't get the IV in the left hand. Couldn't get it in the right. Finally got a blood draw out of the right, but then the vein moved and they couldn't keep that in. Eventually they called someone with mucho experience who could find veins that are a) buried too deep in b) way too thick skin (inherits from his father) and c) tried to slide around when finally found. And finally got it in. This in a kid who has the (what at least I've found is a) typical guy response to needles. At least he didn't faint.

Then, he couldn't give them a urine sample for ages, 'cause, well, he hasn't been holding stuff down, so as much as I've tried to keep him hydrated, he probably wasn't very much so, and, he has 'bashful bladder' when he tries to do things like that anyway. FINALLY got that part taken care of.

Then got the CT scan, after two hours of waiting (apparently, it takes that long for whatever fun concoction they make you drink to get through your system. Plus, they were very, very busy there tonight).

Found after all that that that it -wasn't- appendicitis, or at least, the CT scan looked normal and the white blood cell count was normal... they did warn me to keep an eye on him 'cause apparently appendicitis doesn't always present 'by the book'. Got a script for an anti nauseant (suppository. They asked if *I* was going to insert them. He's 14 1/2 and 5'10". Heck no I'm not going to; he can poke on his own butt!!! :) )

Then they took the IV (well, the heparin lock) out, to his great delight, and I left the room so he could change... and heard a 'MOM!!!' through the door. And rushed back in... and found that where they had taken the IV out was bleeding. A LOT.

So I grabbed paper towels, elevated, applied pressure, and yelled for my daughter to grab a nurse RIGHT NOW.

The nurses got there, put on gloves, and added more pressure (since I'd grabbed it originally, at least I was the one with the blood all over my hands - and when it's my kid, it's NOT a biohazard, unlike what the nurses would have had to deal with) and then it finally stopped, and was fine. Assuming it was just a last-minute gift of the ol' heparin.

So now I'm finally home, and the load of laundry that desperately needed to be done is now done, and I am going to BED.

What a night.

The Training Chyk is Happy...

2008-03-11T10:29:00.003-04:00

The Training Chyk found a full set of FREE templates to create web-based courses, at http://www.fastrak-consulting.co.uk/tactix/fastools.htm

Can I code Javascript from scratch? No. Well, I'm sure I -could- but the learning-to-development time would be far higher than anyone wants to pay me for.

Can I *modify* existing code? Yeah, THAT I can do.

This toolkit has everything already set up, testing, certificate, everything. I can't believe someone's giving this away for free. This is too awesome.

(Ok, so it doesn't take too much to make me happy. So sue me. :) )

I have permanent employment!

2008-03-03T15:17:00.003-05:00

No more consulting - I'm now... well, the job title is "business analyst", but I'll be doing a LOT of stuff... for DKI Services Inc. I'm VERY excited about this opportunity. My new boss is also a good friend of mine, the company is solid and I like their attitude, and I'm going to be BUSY... creating CBTs, technical documentation, marketing documentation, doing a bit of tech support, and perhaps even doing some product management and marketing. No more 'what do I do when this project ends' moments. Benefits. And a real challenge in a position that is being tailored to my specific skill set. The only drawback is that it is a tiny bit of a pay cut from my consulting positions, or at least most of them... but that should be made up for by the fact that I won't be docked for time off, since I'll be salaried. (Amazing, when you're a consultant, how an hour here and there of 'picking the kids up' adds up to a hole in your paycheck. And we won't even talk about what holiday weeks are like, especially the two-day holidays...)

So this is a great career opportunity for me and I'm really, really excited!

One hit wonder quizzes

2008-02-19T17:15:00.002-05:00

Yes, I got 100% on BOTH of them. This indicates (1) they were too easy, or (2) they used one-hits that are Way Too Old. :)

One-Hit One-Ders

Score: 100% (10 out of 10)

1-hit one-ders part 2

Score: 100% (10 out of 10)

Ah, an explanation for the electric car question...

2008-01-23T11:36:00.000-05:00

This article in Salon:

http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2008/01/22/plug_in_hybrids/index.html

...explains the difference between a regular hybrid, a plug-in hybrid, and an all-electric. I guess, not having paid too much attention to hybrids (I'd love one, but when you're on a used-car-only budget, you don't get that option), I had assumed they already -were- plug-ins. Which was why the previous article confused me so much.

The one argument I have with the article - the writer says that a 40-mile-per-day capacity really isn't needed; most people drive less than that. Do I really commute that much farther than the average person? My drive is somewhere between 17 - 20 miles one way. So I easily do more than 40 miles a day, especially once you add a grocery store trip, or picking a kid up from school or a friend's house, or any of the other million errands that seem to come up every week...

Well...

2008-01-19T00:44:00.000-05:00

I don't FEEL 40. :)

That is all. :)

PS - Thank you to all who sent me cards and well-wishes!

And for the California gang, since I know you'll get this if I post it here - a) really, I will email soon. I just can't get to personal email from work again (they block all the good sites, darnit) and, as you can see from the ungodly hour of this post, it's hard for me to find time that a kid isn't using the computer. :) And B) I am, honestly, not avoiding a certain member of my family. I just suck at writing letters. Shame he doesn't have email. :) I will get one out soon. Just... you remember what it's like to have kids this age, right? Someone's ALWAYS going somewhere. I am Mom Taxi Extraordinaire.

And speaking of which, better go sleep now -- have to be at the school at 7 Freaking 45 AM tomorrow for speech tourney...

Nothing like wiping the past from existence...

2008-01-14T16:39:00.000-05:00

I am reading this article:

http://www.reuters.com/article/companyNewsAndPR/idUSN1442657520080114

It is talking about "bringing the first plug-in, all-electric cars to market."

Um.

GM already DID that. More than 10 years ago, with the EV1.

I know. I worked on the dang thing!

(Yes, I was only a secretary, before anyone gets excited. But I do know several of the patent-holders on it. Typed for many of them.)

Now, I know there was a lot of bullhockey surrounding taking the EV1 off the market. (Anyone besides me watch Who Killed the Electric Car? I had to see it... I actually knew a couple people who were in it, albeit briefly.)

But I didn't know that both GM and the media were now pretending it never existed...

You snus, you (maybe) -don't- lose...

2007-12-26T14:14:00.000-05:00

While I have not been formally diagnosed, I suspect I have COPD. Got a cold this autumn with significant bronchial effects... and the bronchial effects have never quite gone away. Frustrating, since at my absolute worst I've smoked -maybe- 3/4 of a pack a day... but there it is. So it's more than obvious that it's time to quit smoking.

This should be easy. I have always resisted acknowledging the fact that I smoke at all. And for several years it was truly only 'social smoking'... I could go for months without a cigarette without noticing it. But over the last five or six years it's definitely progressed to true addiction. That said, I've always been neurotic about not smoking around any non-smokers (most especially my kids!!!), never smoking indoors or in any enclosed area, washing and brushing my teeth afterwards... So this seems like it shouldn't be as tough as it is for some people, right?

Mmm. Nice theory. Too bad it doesn't work in practice. :(

So there are all these NRT (Nicotine Replacement Therapy) products out, right? So I should use them, right?

Have you seen the PRICES of these things??? Makes me think no one is serious about wanting to help people stop smoking, because otherwise the NRTs wouldn't be four times as expensive as smoking. (Ok, they'd probably be cheaper for the several-packs-a-day folks, but they are NOT for me.) (And -how- does one smoke two or three packs a day anyway? I can't figure out where anyone would have enough -time- to smoke that much. But that's a different subject.)

In addition, NRT products are designed to deliver a constant low dose of nicotine. When you smoke, you get a much stronger hit. That's the other reason why NRTs have pretty poor success rates: they don't actually replace the experience you get with the original delivery system.

But then I ran across information about smokeless tobacco. Specifically, Swedish snus. Turns out, they're discreet, don't require spitting, don't have all the 'lower-class' connotations that "chew" has here. The Swedes have used them for years... and DRAMATICALLY reduced deaths from just about all smoking-related mortality. It appears that the risks and problems caused by nicotine itself is no more than the risk for any other stimulant (caffeine, for example). And that when you don't burn it, tobacco has perhaps some small risk factors, but not significantly more than just about anything else in this day and age... and again, dramatically less risk than smoking. Seems that almost all the awful parts of smoking are caused by the inhaled smoke. If you can take that out, but limit the nicotine withdrawal, you can get many, many, many more people to quit smoking than you do with other methods. (And yes, the ideal situation is that you quit completely. But hello... it's called an addiction for a -reason-. If it were easy to just quit, wouldn't most of us have done that by now?) And the snus deliver nicotine in a method much more similar to the pattern of delivery provided by a cigarette, which makes them more effective at controlling cravings.

There is a version of snus being test marketed in my area right now, that is not catching on at all, which makes me wonder if they'll pull it off the market.

And one of the reasons it's not catching on? In the US, you can't say that it's much less harmful than cigarettes... EVEN THOUGH IT IS!

On the tin of snus that I have here with me right now, it says "Warning: This product is not a safe alternative to cigarettes." Doesn't that make you think "well, I might as well smoke?" If that was all the data I had, I'd sure think that. But fortunately, I have the Internet. Yay Internet!

And the data I've found says something very different than that which is implied by that warning. If you want to wade through it yourself, take a look at this report by the UK Royal College of Physicians: http://www.rcplondon.ac.uk/pubs/contents/4fc74817-64c5-4105-951e-38239b09c5db.pdf as well as data found here: http://www.tobaccoharmreduction.org/index.htm. Or, for a shorter overview, try this NYT article: http://www.sallysatelmd.com/html/a-nytimes9UA.html

Is it totally safe? No, probably not. Is it notably, significantly, dramatically more safe than smoking cigarettes? Absolutely -- especially when viewed in relative terms. But heaven forbid we should be able to say this in this country. Oh, wait... there are large companies making a lot of money on NRT products, aren't there? Large companies that tend to spend a lot of political money? Gee, that couldn't have anything to do with effectively suppressing this data, could it? (And interestingly, the RCP data comes from a country where snus are banned. Cigarettes aren't banned. Other forms of chewing tobacco that are not nearly as safe are not banned. But snus are banned. Hmm...)

Anyway, right now the snus are available to me here, and are indeed helping me quit - I've smoked 3 cigarettes today, and only have one left, and don't intend to buy any more when this is done. (I'll make no promises, but that's my intention.)

But I wonder how many people could be helped by knowing this, and who are turned off of these new smokeless products, because we're so busy pushing abstinence that we don't provide accurate data about safer alternatives.

Ah, the life of a consultant

2007-12-20T13:55:00.000-05:00

Things have been very (VERY) slow at my work the last couple weeks. I was getting nervous. So, I threw some resumes out, and got an offer for a short-term contract starting January 2. Talked to my current work, and sure enough, they agreed there wasn't enough work here for a full-time writer (which makes me suspect that after the holidays I was going to get an unpleasant surprise. Well, not totally a surprise, because any time a consultant is twiddling her thumbs, she knows it's time to start looking...).

So, it's job-switch time again. But at least it's a pay increase, and will mean I won't pay to park downtown anymore. (That right there is a significant savings!)

At last! The mystery solved!

2007-12-19T15:39:00.000-05:00

Ever get caught in one of those "mystery jams" on the freeway, where you come to a complete standstill for absolutely no reason? Well, this discounts my friend's theory that "traffic ghosts" stop cars. :)

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/12/071219103102.htm

What is remembered, lives

2007-12-17T13:11:00.000-05:00

We lost Dan Fogelberg this weekend.

http://www.danfogelberg.com/news.html

What a shame. I love his music, as well as his philosophy on the environment. And SO YOUNG. (Amazing how young 56 is to me now. Perspective, I guess...) (And guys, note the warning he gives on the above website about prostate cancer screenings...)

To quote from one of my favorite of his songs, "Ever On":

May the trail rise up to meet you
May your heart rejoice in song
May the skies be fair above you
As you journey ever on...

What is remembered, lives...

Observe the snow...

2007-12-05T11:03:00.001-05:00

Ok, we only got about 4 inches (margin of error +/- 1 inch - I don't guestimate measurements well). But I guess I'm just not mentally prepared for snow until January. (Or perhaps I'm mentally preparing to move to Texas eventually. I will say, I used to claim that I would be miserable if I didn't live somewhere where I could experience all four seasons. But as I get older, I notice that I enjoy the experience of winter far less each year...)

Anyway, it seemed a good time to share a link from a Cecil Adams "Straight Dope" column that makes me laugh every time I read it:

http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_297.html

"Observe the snow. It fornicates."

Checking the personality test again...

2007-11-13T13:04:00.000-05:00

I did come out ENFP, but only by the skin of my teeth - my "E" preference is only 1%. That's about right. Sometimes I am energized by contact with other people, and sometimes I really, really need alone time. Pretty much every question about interacting with other people, I want to answer, "It depends." :)

But this description is so accurate it is almost frightening:
(from http://www.advisorteam.org/)
Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.

Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.

Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.

Idealists are rare, making up between 20 and 25 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.

(another test is at http://www.humanmetrics.com)

Hmm. I see a purchase in my future...

2007-11-09T16:01:00.000-05:00

Whoever designed this has definitely dealt with ADD themselves in the past:

http://www.addplanner.com/morning.html

What a great idea!

Make what jokes you will...

2007-11-08T14:43:00.001-05:00

...But I went out to play with the geneology database again (working backwards from Anna of Saxony, my link into European royalty... and a crazy woman to boot... why does this figure??? :) )

Anyway, I discovered I'm also related to the Patron Saint of Poland.

Make what jokes you will!!! :)

Hope?

2007-11-07T14:56:00.001-05:00

Found an interesting site: http://www.gainhope.com

Here are my results for their 'hope tests'. I find it interesting, but not surprising, that my high scores are in the spiritual realm, while my low scores are in 'trusting the support of other people' realm...

Results of your State Hope Assessment
This part of the hope test addresses your current experience of hope. It reflects your conscious state of mind over the past two weeks. The red number is your score. On the line following your score, we have listed the average score as well as the lower, middle, and upper ranges of our obtained distribution (i.e., those we might label "low", "medium" or "high" scores). Following each row of scores is a description of each scale.

Ultimate Gains
Your Score: 11 [Average=12; Low(0-10) Med(11-12) High(13-16)]
Unlike "wishes", the goals of hope are not "garden variety" or "pedestrian". Theoretical accounts of this dimension of hope include philosopher Joseph Godfrey's "ultimate hope" as well as psychologist Paul Pruyser's distinction between "hopes" and "wishes". Psychologist James Averill's empirical research has also demonstrated that hopes are more likely to derive from an individual's "core values".
A High Score suggests that you believe that you are making progress towards important or "ultimate" life goals.
A Low Score implies that you are not making enough progress in terms of your major aspirations.

Supported Strivings
Your Score: 12 [Average=12; Low(0-11) Med(12) High(13-16)]
Your hope for success is a joint product of inner mastery and external support. The philosopher William Lynch described hope as a process of "collaborative mutuality." The psychologist Paul Pruyser wrote that when one is "immersed" in hope, the ego is not experienced as an isolated center of power.
A High Score suggests that you feel able to rely on outside help to achieve your goals.
A Low Score indicates that you are more likely than others to be struggling on your own to realize cherished hopes and dreams.

Interpersonal Bonding
Your Score: 9 [Average=14; Low(0-12) Med(13-14) High(15-16)]
Hope is about love and attachment. Western culture frequently overlooks this fact, putting more focus on the mastery aspects of hope. In contrast, many people in the world derive their greatest sense of hope from relationships with others, a higher power or the forces of nature. The philosopher William Lynch reminded us that hope is "not a private resource" created in isolation.
A High Score suggests that you feel closer, more loved, and more connected to other people and forces than the average person taking this test.
A Low Score indicates that you feel more lonely, more isolated, and more disconnected than most people who have taken this test.

Trust Experiences
Your Score: 5 [Average=9; Low(0-7) Med(8-11) High(12-16)]
Trust is a core element of hope. A sense of trust is sustained by acts of disclosure, meditations upon recent encounters with confidantes, and perceived opportunities for further sharing.
A High Score suggests that you have been able to disclose to one or more confidantes and/or that your trust has been safely maintained.
A Low Score implies that you are lacking a trusted confidante and/or that your trust has recently been violated.

Fear Reduction
Your Score: 8 [Average=11; Low(0-9) Med(10-11) High(12-16)]When individuals feel "hopeful", they secure a sense of peace. In contrast, Aquinas, Spinoza and Pascal all agreed that the "opposite" of "hope" was "fear". In this sense, "hope" consists of a felt capacity to handle threats and stressors. At the physiological level, "hope" is associated with a "balanced" nervous, meaning a proper mix of sympathetic (activating) activity and parasympathetic (relaxing) activity.
A High Score suggests that you are capable of reducing your fears and remaining emotionally "self-regulated".
A Low Score implies that you are struggling to control your fears and may be finding it hard to stay calm, particularly in stressful situations.

Liberation Experiences
Your Score: 5 [Average=11; Low(0-9) Med(10-12) High(13-16)]
Hope may be engendered when an individual senses there is a way out of an unpleasant or dangerous situation. Psychologists Shlomo Breznitz and C.R. Snyder both emphasized this aspect of hope. Breznitz labeled this dimension "the work of hope" while Snyder referred to the "ways of hope". By comparison, an experience of hopelessness engulfs the individual who feels trapped and cannot envision "an exit" from an intolerable situation.
A High Score suggests that you feel a sense of actual or symbolic liberation.
A Low Score reveals that you may feel struck or trapped in one or more areas of your life.

Interpersonal Assurance
Your Score: 12 [Average=13; Low(0-11) Med(12-13) High(14-16)]
In difficult times, many individuals rely on other people to secure a measure of hope. They are assured by the positive acts, thoughts or expressed emotions of friends and loved ones. Philosophers Gabriel Marcel and Joseph Godfrey elevated this notion of interpersonal assurance to a quasi-spiritual level with the phrase "I hope in thee for us". From their perspective, "true hope" includes a deep faith in one or more "buffering relationships", involving friends, family, and/or one's community.
A High Score indicates that you currently feel securely embedded in a protective network of relationships.
A Low Score suggests that you may be lacking in the area of emotional support.

Spiritual State Scales
Spiritual Inspiration
Your Score: 12 [Average=7; Low(0-3) Med(4-9) High(10-16)]
Psychologist Kenneth Pargament described the control-related beliefs of many religious individuals in terms of a perceived "working alliance". Rather than believing the locus of control for determining important outcomes is completely internal (self) or exclusively external (higher power), such individuals believe it is a collaborative venture. " Hope-based "spiritual inspiration" is essentially the same thing, derived from a sense that one's dreams and aspirations are being "blessed" or otherwise aided by a higher power.
A High Score suggests that you feel "divinely" or "spiritually" inspired in your work.
A Low Score suggests that you do not believe that you work is blessed by a higher power.

Spiritual Presence
Your Score: 12 [Average=7; Low(0-3) Med(4-9) High(1-16)]
For many people, hope is intertwined with spiritual beliefs and experiences. Depending on your particular background and beliefs, a spiritual presence may involve a personal god, a higher power, or contact with the forces of nature. Some scientists believe that we may be genetically wired to have such experiences. Of course, this also leaves open the possibility that we were wired by God or a supreme power to connect with this higher reality.
A High Score suggests that your recent exposure to spiritual experiences is greater than 2/3 of those who have taken this test.
A Low Score indicates that, compared to most people who have taken this test, you have had less exposure to spiritual phenomena.

Spiritual Assurance
Your Score: 12 [Average=6; Low(0-2) Med(3-8) High(9-16)]
Since the time of the Neanderthals, human beings have relied on spiritual beliefs to provide them with a sense of protection from harm and loss. As the saying goes, "there are no atheists in the foxhole". "Spiritual assurance" follows from a deep faith in one or more "centers of value" that represent salvation of one form or another. Along these line, the mind-body literature suggests that individuals with deeper spiritual beliefs are less likely to suffer from such stress-related disorders as hypertension or cardiovascular disease.
A High Score suggests that your spiritual beliefs are providing you with a feeling of security and wellbeing.
A Low Score implies that your spiritual beliefs are not providing you with a sense of safety and security. Alternatively, you may feel safe and secure but attribute this to non-spiritual factors.

Your Overall State Hope Score
Your Score: 98 [Average=101; Low(0-90) Med(91-108) High(109-160)]
This score represents your total level of current hope (recent and conscious hope).
A High Score means that you are experiencing more hope right now than most of the people taking this test.
A Low Score indicates that your current hope levels are lower than most of the people who have taken this test.

-=Test #2=-
Trait Hope Scores
This part of the hope test addresses your deeper reservoir of hope traits and skills. In a sense, this is your hope foundation. It includes three aspects of your "Hopeful Core": the Attached Self, the Empowered Self, and the Resilient Self. This hope foundation is the result of your entire developmental history. Nevertheless, it can be changed if you are motivated to make it happen.

Ultimate Ends
Your Score: 8 [Average=9; Low(0-8) Med(9) High(10-12)]
Hope goals tend to be transcendent or value-based. "Ultimate ends" refer to the long-range investments that can sustain a sense of hopefulness for years or even decades. A number of concepts emerging from work in "positive psychology" intersect with this conceptualization of hope goals. For example, psychologist Robert Emmons has written of the motivating force of "ultimate goals".
A High Score suggests that you are sustained by the successful pursuit of long-range, life-defining goals.
A Low Score suggests that you have not developed long-range, life-defining goals, or do not believe they are attainable.

Supported Mastery
Your Score: 8 [Average=7; Low(0-6) Med(7-8) High(9-12)]
Hope is about positive goal expectations. However, unlike the narcissist or blinded optimist, the hopeful person realizes they move forward with the help of others. From a hope and mastery perspective, a key developmental achievement is the establishment of a "self-object bond". Coined by psychiatrist Heinz Kohut, the "self-object" is an enhanced sense of self derived from an intense bond with a powerful other (e.g., between a small child and his or her "all powerful" mother). An effective parent, a wise coach, or a good friend shares their power, allowing an individual to absorb and merge with their energies and skills.
A High Score suggests that you can rely on others to support your plans and goals. In short, you feel empowered by supportive attachments.
Low Scores: Compared to other test-takers, you are less likely to feel that you can depend on others for help in achieving important life goals.

Basic Trust
Your Score: 8 [Average=10; Low(0-9) Med(10-11) High(12)]
Hopeful individuals are open and have the ability to trust nature and themselves as well as other people. The great developmental psychologist, Erik Erikson, presumed that hope was the first virtue to develop in the child and that its precursor was basic trust.
High Scores: Compared to most of the people who take this test, you are more likely to have people in your life who really listen to you. You also trust that if the need arose, they would drop whatever they were doing to help you.
Low Scores: Compared to other test-takers, you are less likely to have trustworthy friends and confidantes. Research shows that the presence of at least one confidante can buffer individuals from a variety of illnesses. In addition, the data indicates that the health benefits increase as the number of confidantes grows.

Openness
Your Score: 11 [Average=9; Low(0-7) Med(8-9) High(10-12)]
Unexplored aspects of the self are a rich and untapped resource. William James wrote about "the more", a mysterious spiritual reservoir in the deeper realms of the psyche. Paradoxically, one experiences "the more" as both a part of the self and as part of something outside of the self and greater in scope and strength. Likewise, Carl Jung implored humanity to make use of the ancient wisdom stored in such hopeful archetypes as one's "inner child" and the "wise old man". The philosopher William Lynch wrote the following about hope, "The further it would soar, the deeper it must plunge."
High Scores: Compared to most people who take this test, you are more likely to be in touch with the deeper and more spiritual aspects within yourself.
Low Scores: Compared to other test-takers, you are less likely to make contact with deeper elements and forces within your psyche. On the positive side, you may have strong defense mechanisms that shield your conscious mind from painful aspects of inner and outer reality.

Personal Terror Management
Your Score: 6 [Average=8; Low(0-7) Med(8) High(9-12)]
Hope is about self-regulation. The hopeful person is able to manage their fears and successfully confront the stresses of life. They can "self-sooth" rather than relying heavily on sources of "external tranquilization" such as inordinate use of alcohol, addictive painkillers, or a co-dependent relationship. In the Oxford English Dictionary, you will find that one definition of hope dating back to the middle ages is "an island in the middle of an wasteland." The hopeful person is an island of comfort, albeit with many bridges to nurture the spirit and psyche.
High Scores: Compared to most people who take this test, you are more capable of self-regulation and terror management.
Low Scores: Compare to most people who take this test, you are less able to manage personal fears and worries. This is an area you should target for self-improvement, lest you find yourself continually dependent on external sources for stress-management.

Social Terror Management
Your Score: 7 [Average=10; Low(0-8) Med(9-10) High(11-12)]
The hopeful person finds assurance in close relationships. Developmentally, this capacity to trust in the goodwill of others comes from having your safety needs met in childhood. In contrast, many childhood trauma survivors struggle to gain a basic sense in the safeness in the presence of other people. Survival-oriented trust may well be one of the factors that link social support to healing. For example, following a heart attack, individuals who report having at least one confidante are far less likely to have another attack. Similarly, women with breast cancer live longer if they participate in a support group. The hopeful person is able to recruit care. This is a product of many factors, including their belief in a benign universe and their openness towards other people and the world in general. In addition, the hopeful person is a good judge of character (they know whom to trust). Research by psychologist Gina O'Connell Higgins has demonstrated that resilient children and adults have a knack for extracting a lot of support from a thin outpouring of affection.
High Scorers are more likely to believe they can rely on others, including family or friends, for aid in times of need. High scores are also good "care recruiters".
Low Scorers may feel unsupported or left to their own devices in times of difficulty. They may also find it hard to recruit care from others.

Positive Future
Your Score: 8 [Average=9; Low(0-8) Med(9-10) High(11-12)]
Hopeful individuals have faith in the future. They see the future as another resource, ripe with gifts and possibilities. The more hopeful person also believes they have a say in their future, believing they can and will play an active role in shaping its development.
High Scores: Compared to most people who take this test, you are more likely to view the future in a positive light.
Low Scores: Compared to other test-takers, you find it more difficult to envision a future that is controllable, loving, or safe.

Spiritual Trait Scales
Spiritual Empowerment
Your Score: 10 [Average=5; Low(0-2) Med(3-6) High(7-12)]
Hopeful individuals often feel their efforts are blessed by a higher power. They see their actions as a part of a larger mission that has been spiritually sanctioned. In the New Testament, St. Paul states "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Likewise, in the Koran it is written, "He will send you the skies pouring abundant rain and add strength to your strength." Tibetan holy men encourage their followers to consider the wisdom of depending on a greater power, noting, "a drop of water is a little thing; but when will it dry away if united to a lake?"
High Scores: Compared to most people who take this test, you are more likely to feel empowered by a spiritual force or higher intelligence to achieve your life goals.
Low Scores: Compared to other test-takers, you are less likely to experience a source of power that is spiritually based.

Benign Universe
Your Score: 10 [Average=7; Low(0-5) Med(6-8) High(9-12)]
Hopeful individuals believe there is goodness in the world. In fact, this the underlying message in all of the great works of art and literature; there are forces of light that can override any form of darkness. The psychologist Paul Pruyser associated hope with the belief that "there is a positive force somewhere in the universe."
High Scores: Compared to most people who take this test, you are more likely to hold a positive view of the cosmos.
Low Scores: Compared to other test-takers, you are less likely to view the universe in a positive light and more apt to believe that evil predominates in the world.

Spiritual Openness
Your Score: 12 [Average=6; Low(0-4) Med(5-7) High(8-12)]
The hopeful person is open to spiritual input. In fact, every major spiritual tradition includes some type of ritual that is designed to foster greater openness towards a higher power. In the west, there are confessions and appeals for grace. In the east, palms are turned upwards to the heavens. The Australian Aborigines transform their ordinary state of consciousness into a fluid spiritual receptacle through endless hours of dancing and rhythmic chanting. The Ifa of Western Africa direct a spot on their foreheads towards Orisa. Many Native Americans place special furs and feathers under them as they pray, hoping to solidify their bond with the spirit world.
High Scores: Compared to most people who take this test, you are more likely to invest in a spiritual life and make efforts to allow experiences of this kind into your life.
Low Scores: Compared to other test-takers, you are less likely to believe in the possibility of spiritual contact. Consequently, you are less likely to make time for spiritual exercises such as meditation or prayer.

Mystical Experience
Your Score: 11 [Average=6; Low(0-4) Med(5-8) High(9-12)]
Hopeful individuals enjoy a sense of connectedness with a higher plane of reality. This "greater realm" may be religious or spiritual. It might involve a vision of God, a bond with a loved one, an indescribable feeling state, or more simply a feeling of oneness with the rest of humanity. Rumi, the great Middle Eastern poet, called the mystical state a "portal of hope."
High Scores: Compared to most of those who take this test, you are more likely to experience the presence of a spiritual force or a sense of connection involving a loved one. At times you may even feel as if you are being guided or directed by this presence or power.
Low Scores: Compared to other test-takers, you are less likely to experience a communion with forces, spirits, or a higher power. Perhaps you are a nonbeliever or a believer who nevertheless has trouble reaching this level of spiritual experience.

Spiritual Terror Management
Your Score: 10 [Average=6; Low(0-3) Med(4-7) High(8-12)]
The hopeful person is at peace. They are comforted by a set of transcendent values that make up their personal faith system. Theologian James Fowler has referred to these beliefs as centers of value. In the power of Myth, Joseph Campbell also affirmed the ancient wisdom of staying "centered". He described the folly of trying to ride the wheel of fortune, sometimes you are riding atop the wheel and sometimes you find yourself at the bottom. However, if you stay grounded in the middle, regardless of how the wheel turns, you will always be at the same place, "centered".
High Scores: Compared to most people who take this test, you have a stronger set of spiritual beliefs for coping with adversity.
Low Scores: Compare to most people who take this test, you are less likely to rely on spiritual beliefs in addressing important life challenges.

Symbolic Immortality
Your Score: 12 [Average=7; Low(0-5) Med(6-8) High(9-12)]
The light of hope is forever. Many of the hopeful are buffered by religious beliefs that promise a benign afterlife. Christians, Jews and Muslims look forward to heaven. Native Americans, the African Ifa, and the Australian Aborigines await a reunion with the spirit world. Hindus expect to be reincarnated. Some Buddhists prepare for a cycle of rebirths while others envision a heaven of indescribable beauty. Even the hopeful humanist or scientific atheist may presume the spirit lives on in some form. The psychologist Erik Erikson believed that symbolic immortality was at least possible through acts of "generativity" (participation in people and things that will outlive the mortal self).
High Scores: Compared to most of those who take this test, you are more likely to believe in some form of immortality. This does not necessarily mean that you believe in a religiously grounded heaven or hell. However, like the narrator in Thorton Wilder's Our Town, you believe there is "something eternal about human beings."
Low Scores: Compared to most of those who take this test, you are less likely to believe in the immortality of the soul or spirit. You may hold strong atheistic beliefs or view yourself as a hard pragmatist.

Spiritual Integrity
Your Score: 9 [Average=10; Low(0-8) Med(9-10) High(11-12)]
Psychologist Paul Pruyser once noted that hope is less about "having" or "getting" and more about "being". In this sense, hope can never be taken away from an individual, regardless of life circumstances. Hope as a way of being in the world implies a sense of "spiritual integrity". This virtue derives from crafting a life of meaning and purpose. Both the atheistic Erikson and the Christian writer Rick Warren have argued that a "life mission" is critical. Spiritual integrity can also be related to the Hindu call for each individual to "uphold the world".
A High Score indicates that you have forged a "mission" and derived a sense of meaning and purpose in life.
A Low Score suggests that you have not developed a "life calling". As a result, you may be vulnerable to feelings of meaninglessness and purposelessness.

Your Overall Trait Hope Score
Your Score: 130 [Average=109; Low(0-97) Med(98-121) High(122-168)]
This score reflects your total reservoir of hope-related traits and skills, providing an index of the strength of your Hopeful Core (your Attached Self, Empowered Self, and Resilient Self.)
High Scores: Compared to most people who take this test, you are generally a more hopeful individual who is solidly attached, sufficiently empowered, and relatively skillful at regulating your responses to stress and loss.
Low Scores: Compared to other test-takers, you may be lacking in supportive attachments as well as feeling less empowered or supported in your goal pursuits. In addition, you may also have a relatively lower threshold for managing stress and loss.

Yay my daughter!

2007-11-02T15:53:00.000-04:00

Who is doing quite well in her first time on stage. Not the world's greatest show, but sure better than the junior high productions I remember being student director for! And seriously, my daughter's doing great, and that's not just me being a fond mom, that's me being an ex-theater-geek. :)

(And PS, thanks to my Cali. family for the flowers! Since I know you found out about the show by reading this, I assume you'll get the thank-you if I post it here as well... :) She was really touched!)

SO glad I was not born with a "Y" chromosome...

2007-09-26T15:50:00.000-04:00

...Because when someone bets me 10 bucks to eat a combination of mayonaise, applesauce, ketchup, and chocolate milk, I don't feel the need to accept the bet.

And then I don't spend the afternoon throwing up so that my mom has to pick me up from school.

Unlike my son.

Sigh.

And to finalize the punishment that Mother Nature began, I told him, "Hey. 10 bucks will just about cover the gas money to get to school, and having to pay a second time to park (the joys of working downtown). I think that's mine now!"

I also suggested that when he's feeling better, he might want to look up the word emetic... :)

Tricksy hobbitses...

2007-09-20T16:28:00.000-04:00

A new species of human was discovered a couple years ago, and the title link shows some new details about the discovery. What I find interesting was that this was a three-foot tool-using hominid that apparently existed alongside Homo Sapiens, not so very long ago in cosmic terms. Sure, this has just been discovered in Indonesia right now... but could this species have existed elsewhere? Like, perhaps, the British Isles? And if so, could this be where the legends of elves came from? Just a thought...

Ancient Geekery

2007-09-19T12:49:00.000-04:00

Well, in thinking about the First Smiley, and thinking back to my BBS-ing days [insert quavery voice here: "You young whippersnappers are spoiled by all these graphics! In my day we had amber screens and 300 baud modems and were HAPPY about them, I tell you!"]... I found this site:

http://www.textfiles.com/

What's scary is how much of this stuff I -remember-.

no, NOT the cracker/phreak stuff. Surprisingly, I did not have any friends who were into that at the time. I suspect I saw most of the files from the 'occult' section in close-to-original postings, though...

Happy birthday to :-)

2007-09-18T10:58:00.000-04:00

So if the first emoticon was created 25 years ago, what system would that have been on? The article just says an "electronic bulletin board system." CompuServe, do you suppose? Or something like FIDONet? Was FIDONet around 25 years ago? Now I'll have to look that up...

(of course, the fact that I remember ANY of this identifies me as (a) too much of a geek, and (b) Way Too Old. :-) )

Okay, someone 'splain this to me...

2007-09-12T14:33:00.000-04:00

A town in Germany is trying to reduce accidents by removing all traffic signals, lights, etc: http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSGOR14512420070911
Say what?

How does this reduce accidents?

I'm not saying I know anything at all about this... just, it defies common sense.

(not that I have so much of that, now that I think about it...) :)

edited to add the Wikipedia link that explains the theory - not that it helps me understand it much... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shared_space

Woad Warriors?

2007-09-06T09:37:00.000-04:00

I work in downtown Indy, and for a moment, I got all excited while walking in to work...

...But then I realized the blue paint on the guys' faces was NOT woad, and the guys were Colts fans, NOT Celts preparing for battle. :)

It's NFL kick-off time, and in typical Indianapolis style, we're making a big fat hairy deal of getting to be the season opener. "Oh my gosh, Indianapolis is going to be on national television! We'd better try to make it look good!" So there's a free concert on the Circle starring Faith Hill, Kelly Clarkson, and Hinder, and home-grown John Mellencamp is performing in the Dome (I still call it the Hoosier Dome; I don't care how much RCA spent to get their name on there...) before the game.

And, I work one building south of the Circle, on Meridian Street. So there is security everywhere, and all the local news channels have been broadcasting from in front of my building. It's been an insane-a-thon all week.

But hey, I got to hear Faith Hill yesterday, right next to me. Well, she SOUNDED like she was right next to me. She was rehearsing at about 4PM. Because they have set up gi-normous speakers for the concert, I can sit here in my office and hear perfectly, as if I were right on the stage next to 'em. Fortunately, our office is closing before the actual concert today, or we'd never get out of our building.

That, and every time someone plays a strong bass note, it VIBRATES THE WHOLE BUILDING. Somehow I wouldn't be surprised if we have broken windows before the night is over. Just hope not the one right next to MY computer! :)

Ok, someone explain how this can be true...

2007-08-27T13:39:00.000-04:00

From the National Weather Service website:

A total lunar eclipse will occur during the early morning hours on Tuesday. The eclipse will begin at 4:51 am EDT, with the total eclipse beginning at 5:52 am EDT. The end of the entire eclipse will occur at 8:22 am EDT but will not be visible in Indiana, as the moon will set at 7:14 am EDT. Interestingly, sunrise will occur at 7:09 am EDT, so both the moon in eclipse and the sun will be in the sky at the same time. (Note: Times referenced here are for Indianapolis. The time may vary slightly for other Indiana locations).

I like to think that I'm somewhat scientifically astute. But how can totality not end until 7:22 am (per the graphic on the link above)... AFTER sunrise? Wouldn't that mean that the sun and moon are not in a straight line from our perspective, if they're both in the sky? And if so, how can the eclipse still be total?

I CONFUZZLED. :)

Now here's a useful service...

2007-08-27T13:22:00.000-04:00

The last time I used "411" on my cell phone, it cost me over $2. Google is doing a beta version of a FREE phone information service.

From their website at http://labs.google.com/goog411/#utm_source=en-us-gmwc=et=gmwc:

Dial from any phone 1-800-GOOG-411(1-800-466-4411)

Using this service, you can:

search for a local business by name or category. You can say "Giovanni's Pizzeria" or just "pizza".
get connected to the business, free of charge.
get the details by SMS if you’re using a mobile phone.Just say "text message".

And it's free. Google doesn’t charge you a thing for the call or for connecting you to the business. Regular phone charges may apply, based on your telephone service provider.
Note: Google Voice Local Search is still in its experimental stage. It may not be available at all times and may not work for all users. We’re fine-tuning the service to get better at recognizing your requests. It’s currently only available in English, in the US, for US business listings.

I'm the mother of a queen!

2007-08-23T10:46:00.001-04:00

Well, of a girl who's playing a Queen... my daughter got the role of Queen Aggravain in her school musical, "Once Upon A Mattress." They're doing a junior version of the show, which means Lady Larken isn't pregnant, and the "Man-To-Man-Talk" is completely cut out of it. But I guess that's better than having a couple parents horrified that anything remotely referring to sex is happening on stage.

So, this is my Mom karma. Because my mom spent my entire youth listening to me quote lines and hauling me to and from rehearsals... so now I get to do this with my daughter. :)

Actually, I'm looking forward to it. And very proud, as the standard wisdom around school was "sixth graders are never cast for big parts" (it's a 6-7-8 middle school).

So maybe I should listen to people and take her to Hollywood someday after all? :)

I knew this would happen someday...

2007-08-14T11:39:00.000-04:00

Back in my MUSHing days, I said, someday computers would be fast enough that there would be a graphic version of a MUSH, and would suck braincells out of lots of people. I haven't explored Second Life, but... it's he-eere!

Be careful with your kids around my blog...

2007-08-08T16:54:00.000-04:00

At least, according to this, my blog is rated "PG":

Mingle² - San Diego Singles

I am in love with whitewater rafting now.

2007-07-30T10:43:00.001-04:00

One trip, and I am hooked.

Went to southern Kentucky and took a raft trip on the Cumberland River this weekend.

It POURED down rain on Friday, and a decent amount of Saturday. Which at the time I was upset about, because it made driving down a PITA, and limited hiking on Saturday, and made the moonbow at Cumberland Falls almost invisible Saturday night. (I -think- I saw it. I wouldn't swear to it. The full moon was out, but slightly cloud-shrouded, and it really takes a fully clear night to see it. I have seen it once before, but the friend I was with had not, and I would have loved to have seen it again. Ah well, another trip.).

But I should know that what happens is always for the best. Because the lovely 'beginner' level class 3 rapids... were now up to class 4's. And one of them was a 5! (Unfortunately, they didn't let us go through that one, much to the chagrin of our very-experienced guide who wanted to take us. I was ready to go!)

I fell out of the boat once involuntarily, when an eddy tilted the side and surprised me. Not a big deal... they had us in seriously strong PFDs (personal floatation devices) and helmets. You go in, you bob up, you swim to the boat, they pull you in. (I'm still getting used to this concept that I am a strong swimmer. I've been swimming a lot this summer and something has just 'clicked,' and now people comment on how good my form looks. Completely unimaginable to me.) (And I clarify 'involuntarily' because I went in a few times just to swim, when they said it was ok.)

GREAT fun. Why do I live in Indiana where there is little water, few natural recreational opportunities, and no mountains? I'm starting to wonder about this...

Someday, I will post something that's not a comment on a news article...

2007-07-16T17:01:00.000-04:00

...But for now:

Judge OKs clergy abuse payout

As usual, it's a line within the article that is blowing my mind:

"The deal settles all 508 cases that remained against the archdiocese, which also paid $60 million in December to settle 45 cases that weren't covered by sexual abuse insurance." [italics mine]

There is such a thing as sexual abuse insurance now???

Is that, like, something you can take out on your kids if you're a Catholic parishioner? Or if you live too close to Michael Jackson?

Well, -this- is getting people stirred up...

2007-07-09T15:50:00.000-04:00

"New law eases up on teen sex" - http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070709/LOCAL/707090408

I'm reading the Star forums about this article, and am amazed at the number of people who think this 'sanctions' teen sex. Do people really so blindly follow their government that they believe that a law 'sanctions' activities? Maybe -that's- what's wrong with our country in general.

Personally, I'm glad of this. The issue is not whether teens should have consentual sex. The issue is that, if they do, it shouldn't make one of them registered as a sex offender for the rest of his/her life.

To me, complaining about this law is, once again, wanting the government to make up for lack of parenting. Frankly, I don't trust the government to guide a snail, much less my kids!!!

Ok, which is more bizarre about this story...

2007-07-06T14:41:00.000-04:00

Just read this news story: "11-Year-Old Girl Charged With DUI After 8-Mile Police Chase". Note the last line in the story.

Which is more mind-boggling, that an 11-year-old girl got DUI? Or that there is a legal limit for minors? Does that mean it's not actually illegal to drink if you're 11, as long as your BAC isn't over 0.2???

Make love, not war!

2007-06-12T13:56:00.000-04:00

Apparently, someone in the Air Force tried to take that catchphrase a little TOO literally: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,281217,00.html

Wait... what???

2007-06-08T15:30:00.000-04:00

From Fox News: California Woman Fakes Abduction to Get Out of Date

As if it isn't mind-boggling enough that she dragged 60 police officers away from real work to hunt her not-really-abducted butt DOWN... the last line of the article is what got me:

White, who spent two nights in jail after her arrest Monday night, said she feels bad about lying to the police. Her engagement is still on, and she plans to get married in April.

Um. Married to the guy who she met in the chat room, who she got 'abducted' to avoid? Or married to someone else? In which case, via national news, he now knows she was a) going to go out on him, and b) thought that lying like a psychotic madwoman was the appropriate way to deal with this. And yet he's still marrying this chick?????

How very appropriate...

2007-06-06T14:13:00.000-04:00

...Except I am NOT a gossip, thanks.

No, really.

Which Muse Are You?

You scored as Thalia, You are Thalia, the muse of comedy. You are constantly finding the humor in every situation. However, you are a gossip, and you love to revel in other people's torrid affairs.

Thalia

81%

Euterpe

75%

Terpischore

63%

Clio

56%

Calliope

44%

Melpomene

38%

Erato

38%

Urania

19%

Polyhymnia

19%

Which of the Greek Muses are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

Blimey, Mate, that's one bonzer rabbit!

2007-06-05T10:06:00.000-04:00

Okay. I would never have imagined that you can have a PET KANGAROO in Indiana without a permit. But apparently you can.

I'm sorry it died. But the part of this article that is making me ROTFLMAO is this line, about the escaped kangaroo:

Neighbor Jim Greider saw the kangaroo hopping toward his son's graduation party Friday night and thought it was a huge rabbit.

I, of course, find myself speculating that the neighbor might have had a few "Fosters: Australian for beer" before that incident!!!

Today, the Claddagh was slooooowwww at lunch...

2007-06-01T13:36:00.000-04:00

…And its staff cannot count, as they originally tried to put 19 people at a table set for 14 (that could actually hold MAYBE 12, if they were very well acquainted)

It’s also far less fun when you can’t have Guinness. Or Irish Coffee.

But hey, when I get to have lunch paid for by work, to celebrate a co-worker leaving, whom I only worked with for two or three days... I guess I shouldn't complain.

My morning song

2007-05-29T09:20:00.000-04:00

I bought a John Denver cassette for 50 cents at Half Price this weekend. (Ok, ok, so I'm a nerd; you all knew that already, yes?) But it had a song I'd never heard on it, that I listened to on the way in to work this morning:

"Summer"
by John Denver

Silently the morning mist is lying on the water,
captive moonlight waiting for the dawn.
Softly like a baby's breath, a breeze begins to whisper.
The sun is coming; quick, you must be gone.

Smiling like a superstar the morning comes in singing,
the promise of another sunny day.
And all the flowers open up to gather in the sunshine,
I do believe that summer's here to stay.

And do you care what's happening around you,
do your senses know the changes when they come?
Can you see yourself reflecting in the seasons,
can you understand the need to carry on?

Riding on the tapestry of all there is to see,
so many ways and oh, so many things.
Rejoicing in the differences, there's no one just like me.
Yet as different as we are, we're still the same.

And oh, I love the life within me,
I feel a part of everything I see.
And oh, I love the life around me,
a part of everything is here in me.
A part of everything is here in me,
a part of everything is here in me.

Just impossible to not have a good day when it starts with something that appropriate and profound...

OMG, my 'horoscope' in ENGRISH

2007-05-24T15:23:00.001-04:00

Here's the link to it. English is obviously not this site's first language. Or second, or third...

2007-05-24T14:58:00.000-04:00

Updated avatar pic, courtesy of portrait illustration maker. I don't think THIS looks like me either, but it sure looks closer than my OLD one!

Yay, I are a technacle writr now!

2007-05-24T14:25:00.000-04:00

Employed again, at least for the next few months, as a tech writer for a small software firm downtown. Pretty cool, really; for all the user documentation and such that I've done, this is my first formal "tech writer" gig. And since I'm truly an independent contractor for this one, I guess I can claim it as my first Achievement Engineering gig. So if anyone's near the circle, let me know; we can do lunch sometime!

Bored, restless, but still alive

2007-03-31T20:16:00.000-04:00

I know, I know, long time no post.

Well, I'm no longer at Clarian. I'm on a short-term instructional design contract at Schwab that's great, as I'm doing a project all by myself start to finish... but it's only short-term. Wish I was doing this as my own company (a la http://ae.achievegrowth.org)... anyone know a company who has training they need developed, but they haven't had time or resources to do it themselves?

Tonight, I'm bored and restless. Don't want to work on my business, don't want to do anything constructive. Want a group of friends to go hang out with tonight, and I don't know anyone who's available. Figures; I'm busy 95% of the time, so it shouldn't surprise me that no one is around when I'm not!

So what's up with everyone out there? Or is anyone still out there, given how rarely I post nowadays???

PS I have SO got to change the avatar I have posted on this account. I haven't had hair that short for over a year!!!

I'm baaack!

2007-01-11T23:50:00.000-05:00

Happy 2007!

I'll still post personal things here (that is, if I ever have a personal life again to POST about)... but in the meantime, for wisdom, inspiration, and whatever else pops into my head that seems good to share, PLEASE VISIT my new blog, Inward Musings. (Looky. I figured out how to install Wordpress!)

Speaking of that... we changed the name of the business from Achievement Engineering to Inward Quest. I did a community fair this summer and spent WAY too much time explaining, no, we're NOT an engineering firm! Therefore, time for re-branding.

And we've got FREE workshops coming up! Please stop by and see us there!

Yes, I'm alive

2006-06-26T23:32:00.000-04:00

Sorry I haven't posted for a while... connect at home has been cranky.

First updates, then memes...
1) Changed jobs! I'm no longer at Lilly; I'm a instructional designer under contract for Clarian. That is, of course, a fancy way of saying I write training manuals. :) I really enjoy this! Enjoy the significantly increased paycheck, too! :)

2) Still working on the business, albeit slowly. Ditto with the band.

3) Still having lots of first dates and no second dates, enjoying lots of time with my business partner and best friend even though we're not dating each other, and spending (very!) occasional time with the old flame.

4) Am able to do #3 because the kids are with their dad this month, and will be gone a decent chunk of next month too.

5) Just got back from a minibreak to Mackinaw Island MI. Can I move now, please?

And, today's meme: Four Things - and anyone who reads this, feel free to comment with your responses (or post 'em on your own blog)

A) Four jobs I have had in my life:
1) Pharmacy technician
2) Public speaker/salesperson (same job)
3) Computer support analyst
4) Instructional designer (current job) (along with entrepreneur)

B) Four movies I would watch over and over
1) The Lion In Winter
2) Brigadoon
3) Xanadu
4) O Brother Where Art Thou
(Just to name a few lesser known movies - there are many others I could list. For example, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Somewhere In Time, Princess Bride, Holy Grail, and Blues Brothers should be on my list too...)

C) Four places I have lived
1) Defiance, OH
2) Bloomington, IN
3) Brazil, IN
4) Vincennes, IN (though only for about 6 months, and those the first 6 months of my life, so I'm not sure that counts)

D) Four of my favorite TV shows
1) M*A*S*H
2) Babylon 5
3) Carnivale
4) West Wing

E) Four places I have been on Vacation to
1) Mackinac Island/Traverse City MI
2) Orlando/Daytona Beach/St Petersburg, FL
3) N'Awlins
4) Mexico City, Mexico

F) Websites I visit daily
1) Yahoo mail
2) Google mail
3) achievegrowth.org
4) match.com :)

G) Four of my favorite foods
1) Crab Legs!!!
2) Medium rare prime rib
3) Dark Chocolate
4) Fetuccini Alfredo
(I assume by "foods" one is supposed to post things with caloric content... oh, wait, this is a family show... :) :) :))

H) Four places I would rather be right now
1) Mackinaw Island/Traverse City MI
2) Ireland/Scotland
3) Brown County (or anyplace with trees, hills, water, waves, stars, and few people)
4) Springfield, MO (or anyplace where my best friend is)

I) Four people I think will respond
Not a clue! Have no idea if anyone reads this anymore, as rarely as I've posted lately...

News!

2006-05-19T16:00:00.000-04:00

More details later, as I only have a second to post, but I'm leaving Lilly and braving the world of being a consultant. Fabulous position as an instructional designer at Clarian, doing what I loved doing in the last SAP release, for significantly more money. So for being willing to take the risks involved in contract work, I get a really decent income and to do the job I love doing. Sounds like a fair tradeoff to me. Apparently, I need to give thanks to someone!

Catching up on posting

2006-05-16T12:28:00.000-04:00

I should get back to updating more regularly soon. I have big news of yet another change in my life, but am waiting to post that until I have everything formal and definite, which should be in the next day or so - watch this space! But I'm almost done with GBIP, the kids are almost done with school and getting ready to go cross-country to their dad's place for a while, I worked through some major depression over the last few weeks and am feeling much renewed. and other than that not much is going on.

And I think I saw little guys in red suits with pointy tails and horns ice skating today: I actually think the Bush immigration policy is an intelligent compromise between the "deport all the aliens and lock the place down" conservatives and the "give away the farm without worrying who's paying taxes to fund it" liberals. Wonder who actually wrote the policy, as I can't believe it actually came from him? (Me? Cynical? Not at all! :)) And while the idea of troops on our border makes me nervous, 1) if they're primarily building the infrastructure, that's a more comfortable idea, and 2) are they also there so that if something like a bird flu pandemic actually does happen, movement can be more easily controlled? Hrm...

The many faces of me

2006-05-16T03:15:00.000-04:00

Not bad for an $11.99 camera and me playing with the 10-second autotimer, huh?

<--"Just me"

<--Wistful

<-- Amused

<--Impish

It never rains...

2006-04-25T00:01:00.000-04:00

Was at the ER Sunday night until about 1:30 AM - da boy fell off a swing (tire swing, being pushed v. high by another kid. He says he slipped, but I've seen how high off those he tries to jump, so I could see it being either scenario) and almost broke his foot. Did end up just a bad sprain. But I think half the medical community has been fed and housed by my household's contributions to the profession this year. :)

Also, have no sign-ups for this seminar. Guess it must be bad timing again. Ah well, we keep trying.

Do have a lead on an SAP implementation job at Purdue - it'd be a heck of a commute, but the recruiter is... well, let's just say I'm skeptical as always, but if they came through with it, it would be a sufficient pay raise to more than adequately compensate for the commute time... Also have a lead on another business analyst position with a company implementing a different ERP system - I think it's Microsoft's system, eew, but then again, could it really be worse than SAP? :)

And feel v. guilty about applying at a company that just let a friend go. (NOT for the same job! I'm nowhere near THAT heartless!) Unfortunately, it was for writing marketing copy for IT stuff, and they want someone who knows both... and that's just about perfect for my skill set.

No, I'm not thrilled about the idea of leaving Lilly, but the internal job market is just about as slim as the external job market, so I'm leaving all my options open. I do have three internal postings pending as well... but also have four internal postings that I've been turned down for without even an interview, so I don't want to count on that.

I so wish someone would wave a magic wand and say, "I'll pay you the same salary you get now to run your seminars..." But income at that level is a couple years down the road at the earliest, I suspect. I'd risk me, but not the kids...

Exhausted but still alive...

2006-04-18T23:36:00.000-04:00

Go-live (turning off the old systems and activating SAP in our manufacturing plant) was last Monday, and between that, a marketing class I'm taking, and the fact that I've got a seminar scheduled next Sunday (which I need registrations for - anyone interested?), Corwin had strep --AGAIN-- a couple weeks ago, the kids had a very boring spring break mostly alone and very little Mom time for Easter, the endless thunderstorms, and the fact that my house hasn't been cleaned in all this time and BOY it shows... I've been a little overwhelmed. :)

Also, now that we're past go-live, I'm looking at my post-SAP-implementation career, and there's just not much open even internally at Lilly right now. So I'm looking externally as well, if anyone knows of anyone who needs a tech writer or business analyst.

(In the ideal world, I'd be able to quit and do the seminar business full-time, but that won't come close to paying the bills yet. It will eventually, but not yet. And while if it were just me, I'd eat ramen noodles and deal, when I'm supporting two kids that's not precisely an option. In the next-closest-to-ideal-world, I'd find something part-time that covers the absolutes and gave me a bit more time to work on my own business. That one... who knows? Maybe that's why doors seem to be closing a bit right now - to encourage me to look for windows?)

Oh, and I'm selling a "get rid of your postal junk mail" system. No charge to sell it, not very expensive to buy, and the company is donating some of their profits to an environmental group -- seemed too cool and too good an idea not to help market. Besides, I'm remembering that I -like- marketing. Maybe I should jump ship to sales?

P.S. I welcome comments on my redesign of the Achievement Engineering website...

P.P.S. And in case anyone's wondering, I've shut down all my dating profiles for an undetermined amount of time. I am too busy, my children need too much of me, I -want- to put more into the business, I'd like to get back to having time to do stuff with the band, and I need to get past my own personal limiting belief that "the only thing that -counts- in making you happy is a functional romantic relationship" -- not that I EVER would have said that, or thought that, consciously, but when I use the techniques I'm teaching on myself, voila! there's the belief, in bold and Technicolor (tm). So no longer looking for random people seemed a good idea. (What about the two who've been around semi-regularly for a while? Well, neither seems interested in dating me right now so I don't have to worry about it. Cross that bridge if the drawbridge ever closes, huh? :) )

Ok, it's a bit esoteric, but funny as heck...

2006-03-20T10:43:00.000-05:00

That is, if you have ever had experience with the DSM-IV:

The Hundred Akre Pathology

Kiss me, I'm Scotch-Irish, darnit!

2006-03-16T17:28:00.000-05:00

From my friend Ed of the Indy Scottish Society, here's a history of St. Pat's day, in honor of tomorrow. Since I too am Scotch-Irish (well, the parts of me that aren't French), I appreciate this. :)

Ed's History of St Patrick's Day

Here's your history lesson of the day – the history of St. Patrick's Day.

I'm not Irish, but of Scottish heritage and often get asked why I take St. Patrick's Day off, and or why our Scottish organization participates in the St. Patrick's Day Parade. Well, here's why:
St. Patrick was Scottish. He was captured and enslaved by Irish pirates. Later, he escaped, became a priest and returned to convert the Irish to Christianity. After this was accomplished, an Irish student of Patrick's – St. Columba – came and converted the Picts (the majority population in Scotland at that time) to Christianity.

The American tradition of St. Patrick's Day was actually started by Scotch-Irish Americans. The holiday in Ireland was strictly a religious observence. (the pubs were closed!)
" The first formal celebration of St. Patrick's Day took place not in Ireland, but in Boston in 1737. It consisted of a dinner attended by wealthy Protestant gentlemen and merchants who had recently come over from Ulster to settle in the colonies. By 1775, the Boston celebration included a march with 70 soldiers from the British Army who were at the time occupying Boston (an interesting note is that exactly 1 year later, in 1776, the British Army was marching again — but in double time — as they were retreating from the city. So in Boston, March 17 holds two causes to celebrate — St Patrick's Day and Evacuation day.)"
http://www.routledge-ny.com/util/resources.asp?filename=cronin17htm'

Who were the Ulster protestants? Principally, they were the Scotch-Irish, who were Scots that had settled in Northern Ireland.

Who started the parades?
"The first St. Patrick's Day parade took place not in Ireland, but in the United States. Irish soldiers serving in the English military marched through New York City on March 17, 1762. Along with their music, the parade helped the soldiers to reconnect with their Irish roots, as well as fellow Irishmen serving in the English army. Over the next thirty-five years, Irish patriotism among American immigrants flourished, prompting the rise of so-called "Irish Aid" societies, like the Friendly Sons of Saint Patrick and the Hibernian Society. Each group would hold annual parades featuring bagpipes (which actually first became popular in the Scottish and British armies) and drums."
http://www.historychannel.com/exhibits/stpatricksday/index.jsp?page=history

Which units of the British army employed bagpipes? The Scottish regiments.
"St. Patrick's Day was even acknowledged by General George Washington during the American Revolution . In 1780, during the Continental Army's bitter winter encampment in Morristown, New Jersey, Washington permitted his troops, many of whom were of Irish descent, a holiday on March 17. This event is now known as the St. Patrick's Day Encampment of 1780."
http://encarta.msn.com/encyclopedia_681500369/Saint_Patrick%E2%80%99s_Day.html

At that time, the "Irish" Washington referred to were the Scotch-Irish, of which Washington had this to say:
"If all else fails, I will retreat up the valley of Virginia, plant my flag on the Blue Ridge, rally around the Scotch-Irish of that region, and make my last stand for liberty amongst a people who will never submit to British tyranny whilst there is a man left to draw a trigger."
George Washington, at Valley Forge.

It was the Scots who started parades – with kilts and bagpipes – and most important of all, opened the pubs!!! So, if you're out tomorrow, tip one for Scotland and feel free to buy a Scot a drink if you see one. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Quick update

2006-03-15T13:25:00.000-05:00

Am well now, caught up in the rush of go-live at work, STILL not even in the ballpark of unpacked (I don't think I can even say unpacking is -started- really, other than the things we've been using to live over the last *cough* two months), getting ready to plan for another workshop, working on a couple of songs at least in my head if not in my composition software yet, hopeful in my personal life, and wishing that days were about 35 hours long!

OH -- speaking of songs -- did I ever post a link to the one that's done, here? If not, it's at http://www.deltashift.com/No_Limits.mp3 and opinions, raves, and constructive criticism are all welcome. :) (No criticism needed on my photo on the band website, though -- I *know* that is bad!)

Other than that, nothing much going on. :)

ok, so I already memed once today

2006-03-11T01:28:00.000-05:00

...but this was too accurate not to post. :)

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.

You tend to give more than take in relationships.

You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.

You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.

You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

It's been a heck of a week...

2006-03-11T00:53:00.000-05:00

Well, let's see:
1. Got the legal stuff done for all the financial changes.
2. Got the final load of crap out of the old house so it's not mine anymore, yay!
3. My son got suspended from school -- AGAIN -- and this time also got transported to the school detention center via police car. Lemme tell you, getting a message from the cops about your kid, even school cops, is enough to make the rest of my hair grey. Must... recolor... soon...
4. Thought I was aching from #2 above, only to find out I had strep throat.
5. Ended up home from work way too much due to #4 so now I'm even MORE behind at work.

I've got to think next week will be better?

So in interest of having something more entertaining to say, here's a meme I stole from a friend on MySpace:

This is for your entire life:
( x ) Smoked a cigarette
( ) Crashed a friend's car
( ) Stolen a car
( x ) Been in love
( x ) Been dumped
( ) Shoplifted
( x ) Been fired
( x ) Been in a fist fight
( x ) Snuck out of your parent's house
( x ) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) Been arrested
( )Gone on a blind date
( x ) Lied to a friend
( x ) Skipped school
( ) Seen someone die
( x ) Been to Canada
( x ) Been to Mexico
( x ) Been on a plane
( x ) Eaten sushi
( ) Been skiing
( x ) Met someone from the internet
( x ) Been at a concert
( x ) Taken painkillers
( x ) Love someone or miss someone right now [no, not my ex!]
( x ) Laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( x ) Made a snow angel
( x ) Had a tea party
( x ) Flown a kite
( x ) Built a sand castle
( x ) Gone puddle jumping
( x ) Played dress up
( x ) Jumped into a pile of leaves
( x ) Gone sledding
( x ) Cheated while playing a game
( x ) Been lonely
( x ) Fallen asleep at work/school
( ) Used a fake ID
( x ) Watched the sun set
( x ) Felt an earthquake [yes, in Indiana!]
( x ) Slept beneath the stars
( x ) Been tickled
( x ) Been robbed
( x ) Been misunderstood
( x ) Petted a reindeer/goat/kangaroo
( x ) Won a contest
( x ) Run a red light/stop sign
( ) Been suspended from school
( x ) Been in a car crash?
( ) Had braces
( x ) Felt like an outcast/third person
( x ) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
( x ) Had deja vu
( x ) Danced in the moonlight.
( x ) Liked the way you looked
( x ) Witnessed a crime [only if traffic violations count!]
( x ) Questioned your heart
( ) Been obsessed with post-it notes...esp all the colors! lol
( x ) Squished mud through your bare feet
( x ) Been lost....
( ) Been on the opposite side of the country
( x ) Swam in the ocean
( x ) Felt like dying
( x ) Cried yourself to sleep
( x ) Played cops and robbers
( x ) Recently colored with crayons
( x ) Sang karaoke
( x ) Paid for a meal with only coins
( x ) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
( ) Made prank phone calls...
( x ) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( x ) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
( x ) Danced in the rain [nude, no less!]
( x ) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( x ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
( x ) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about
( x ) Blown bubbles
( ) Made a bonfire on the beach
( ) Crashed a party
( x ) Gone roller-skating
( x ) Had a wish come true
( ) jumped off a bridge
1. What time is it? 12:45 am
2. What is your name? Suzanne
3. Any nicknames? Cec, Suz, nickname was Suzy growing up but calling me that now (unless you're family or someone who knew me then) gets you serious negative bonus points!
4. Mothers name? Suzanne (original family, huh?)
5. What is your favorite drink? Diet Coke
6. Tattoos? no
7. Body piercings? only ears
8. How much do you love your job? Used to, darnit.
9. Birthplace: Vincennes, IN
10. Favorite vacation spot? Northern Michigan
11. Ever been to Africa? No
12. Ever steal any traffic signs? no
14. A, B, C, D, DD cup size? Depends on the bra. :)
15. 2 Door or 4 Door? 4 door
16. Salad dressing? Ranch, Italian, Honey Mustard
17. Favorite pie? French Silk
18. Favorite number? Um. I don't think I have one?
19. Favorite movie? The Lion In Winter
21. Favorite holiday? Halloween
22. Favorite food? how does one pick A favorite? Crab legs? Bete Noir?
23. Favorite day of the week? any day ending in "Y"
24. Favorite brand of body soap? SoftSoap Aromatherapy
25. Favorite tv show? Haven't watched much lately. Recently? CSI or West Wing. Of all time? Babylon 5.
28. Favorite smell? sandlewood and musk. Or maybe autumn leaves.
29. What do you do to relax? answer silly quizzes on line. :)
30. Message to your friends reading this? not while I'm stuck on dial-up!
32. How do you see yourself in 10 years? having no kids living at home, having Achievement Engineering be an international organization, be in love (though I'm not saying with whom).
33. What do you do when you are bored? Read, surf the net, write music
34. What do you enjoy receiving? Affection
35. do you like these things? What things?
36. think your friends will do this too? Who knows?
37. think anyone will for sure fill this out? Who knows?
38. What time is it now? 12:51 am

What I'm doing now:

2006-03-06T13:21:00.000-05:00

Grumbling that something I'm behind on at work is being delayed by something outside my control now. The first part, of course, was my fault, so I guess I really can't complain TOO much.
Dreaming of vacation. Despite the fact that it doesn't -look- like spring, this time of year I get spring fever and want to travel. Somewhere. Anywhere. Wanna win the lottery and go to Europe. (Yeah, right!) Wanna go back to Michigan. Wanna go down to Dale Hollow. Not quite the season yet for the more realistic locations, and even if it were I'm too busy to go now, but I can dream!
Wondering about men. I get that the phrase "I'll call you" can just be a polite close to the evening. I'm not so clear on why or how someone asking "so did you have fun? I did; I want to go out again!" turns into no second date. (and no, I didn't do anything like that on the first date, before you ask! :) Were it that, I wouldn't have to ask! :) ) Male readers, wanna share your gender's secrets? :)

Fell in love with songs last night...

2006-02-27T10:52:00.000-05:00

Went to see Kenny White and Cheryl Wheeler in concert with some friends. I'd heard Cheryl's songs before but not Kenny's and I fell in love with this one of his. I'm italicizing the parts of the lyrics that I thought were just fabulous writing, as well as appropriate:

Shoot the Moon
by Kenny White

I keep you under wraps
Like I was CIA
and you were some covert mark
There’s nothing as cold
As the light of day
When you’re standing in the dark
You can have them hold your mail
You can turn the ringer off
Pull the sheets over your head
Sooner or later you’ll stop shooting yourself
and shoot the moon instead

Never slowing down as Hudson curves around Horatio
Cabs are in a hurry for a fare
But summer being what it is,
and this night’s a beauty
Folks just want to get a little air
The harder I listen, the less I hear
The more I search, the less I find
But it feels like love is one part lightning
and two parts making up your mind

Start up the Chrysler, point it East
Let’s see how fast this baby goes
You know it’s often said
The one you need the least
Is the one you want the most

I’m getting tired of coming close
tired of the chances I don’t take
The thing about the heart that hurts the most
Is when you just can’t feel it break

I swear when I drink and
I’m cursed when I don’t and
Like everyone, I want to be rich
I guess it would be to stay in love,
yeah, that’s it…If I had one wish

The other great song of Cheryl's -- well, there were tons, but here's one that she has a link to on her website, as well as the lyrics, and I thought it was a GREAT rant!

"Your God"
Words And Music By Cheryl Wheeler

Is your God the same God who's working with the Pope?
Is it the same God suspicious of Tinky Winky?
Is it the God corralling virgins into herds of 72,
deciding where to send them when the glorious martyrs are through?

Is your God the same God who's burning the science books
and trampling lives to hoist the right to life signs?
Or is he running the breeding program from the Temple by the lake
till one big in-bred family will be an entire state?

Are they his priests who can't keep from buggering little boys?
Is it your cash retaining their attorneys?
I guess he had to overlook the nastiness with the tykes,
to keep the grace of marriage from the clutches of fags and dykes.

Is your God the same God who won the Superbowl?
I hope it's not that loser God Seattle had.
Or is yours the God decreeing all the women wear a sack,
and presiding over stonings and beheadings in Iraq?

Is your God commanding you
to tell everybody what to do,
to kill your brain and praise his name
and bury the bastard who's not the same,
and spew your heinous and hateful shit
like something holy was driving it
to take over all the earth and skies above?
Oh mercy, whatever happened to the GOD of love?

(P) April 26, 2005
Penrod And Higgins Music / Amachrist Music
ACF Music Group
International Copyright Reserved

Tra la la...

2006-02-22T09:16:00.000-05:00

It's a beautiful day: the sun is shining, and life is full of an almost embarassing number of possibilities.

Ok, so I'm obnoxiously cheerful this morning. This is a problem precisely how? :)

And isn't this a great song? It's almost Rudolph Driekurs essay, "The Courage To Be Imperfect," set to music...

"Right To Be Wrong"
(Joss Stone)

I've got a right to be wrong
My mistakes will make me strong
I'm stepping out into the great unknown
I'm feeling wings though I've never flown
I've got a mind of my own
I'm flesh and blood to the bone
I'm not made of stone
Got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone

I've got a right to be wrong
I've been held down too long
I've got to break free
So I can finally breathe
I've got a right to be wrong
Got to sing my own song
I might be singing out of key
But it sure feels good to me
Got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone

You're entitled to your opinion
But it's really my decision
I can't turn back I'm on a mission
If you care don't you dare blur my vision
Let me be all that I can be
Don't smother me with negativity
Whatever's out there waiting for me
I'm going to face it willingly

I've got a right to be wrong
My mistakes will make me strong
I'm stepping out into the great unknown
I'm feeling wings though I've never flown
I've got a mind of my own
Flesh and blood to the bone
See, I'm not made of stone
I've got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone

I've got a right to be wrong
I've been held down too long
I've got to break free
So I can finally breathe
I've got a right to be wrong
Got to sing my own song
I might be singing out of key
But it sure feels good to me
I've got a right to be wrong
So just leave me alone

Happy Belated V-Day

2006-02-16T11:40:00.000-05:00

Or should that be Happy Lupercalia?

(And let me tell you, any article that includes the words "sex lotto" and "pagan lust monkey" gets MY attention. :) )

Sorry, but I just don't get excited about valentine's day. Then again, that might be because right now my casual dating is so casual that one of 'em I haven't seen in a month and the other is officially no longer "dating" me (again!), though we're still best friends. Have one possible date from a personals ad (if we can find a time to try this -- my daughter is better but now my SON has strep throat! Who cast a pox on my house? -- it will be my first time to date someone from a personals ad! I don't know if this is a moment for pride or shame. :) ) Guy definitely seems like he'd be interesting to talk with, some common philosophical ideas and book interests, though I can't tell if there's much likelihood of a spark there -- but I figure if it's someone who I have some common interests with, at the very least I can make a friend, even if there turns out to be no chemistry.

(And boy, wouldn't it be nice to be able to figure out that chemistry thing? Why is it that some people can be perfectly intellectually compatible but have no "zing?" What makes the "zing," anyway? Is it just pheromones?)

Two and a half hours in the I-65 parking lot last night...

2006-02-13T15:53:00.000-05:00

Because of a fatal crash involving two semi trucks, the kids and I sat, parked (literally - I have a stick and after a bit you just put the parking brake on and relax) on I-65 last night from 8:50 PM to 11:20 PM. At which point I finally had the courage to cross the median and go back to the nearest exit.

Gives a whole new meaning to "trapped by your own fears," doesn't it? What a pithy illustration for the universe to give me!

Speaking of fears, the workshop Saturday went fabulously! We met (or re-met, as I knew one of them already, and -- in the small world department -- my co-leader discovered he graduated from high school with another participant!) three fascinating people, and have a great start to not only the business venture but the community we hope to build. Whee!

Remiss in blog updates, I am...

2006-02-09T16:44:00.000-05:00

My daughter has had an ear infection and a birthday, one of which was welcome. :) Although, as this one put her age in double digits, perhaps I shouldn't welcome that either? :)

We have confirmed registrations for the seminar, so it's a go, which makes me very happy!

Work has been busy, as befits the time less than two months before go-live.

I've actually had a couple of nibbles on my personals ads, gasp choke. Now to have courage to respond! :) ( After all, my life isn't complicated enough already. ;)

And Fun Link O' The Day: The Flying Spaghetti Monster Church... made outta LEGO!

You know, usually I'm an early adopter...

2006-01-30T11:05:00.000-05:00

...but until reading an article last week, I'd never even heard of MySpace, much less created a profile on it. But, you know, better late than never?

Anyone else out there on it? I'm not going a good job finding my friends out there, if you are...

Whee!

2006-01-26T17:09:00.000-05:00

Got my first off-the-street, saw-our-ad-in-Nuvo, not-a-friend-of-mine registration for the workshop today! Woohoo!

Now, to find childcare for that day...

Chrysalis

2006-01-25T23:28:00.000-05:00

Well, if I ever remotely questioned that coaching people through emotional processing was my business partner and anam cara's* true lifework and vocation, I have no doubts now. I was stressed last night over money and my daughter's illness (they want to take her to Riley for yet more tests, and I don’t want her to have to go through all that again!). And what began as a phone conversation about my fears over that and several other things, turned into him processing me for almost two-and-a-half hours (!) last night. I can't tell you precisely what happened, but I know that wherever he took me inside myself was someplace I have never been before. And from how... disjointed?... I feel today, I suspect that I've never been -close- to there before.

I feel... I don't know words for this mix of feelings, actually. A little raw, as if a layer were scoured away that I've never been under before; a little uncertain. But not unpleasantly so; just very new, as if I'm re-learning parts of my heart that had almost atrophied with disuse. As if a change has begun that I now just need to leave alone for a while, to allow it to work under the surface. Chrysalised, if that's a word.

So I'm going to be quiet, for a change, and let whatever is happening, happen.

* "...the anam cara, the notion of soul friendship. Anam is the word for soul, and cara is the word for friend. When you had an anam cara friend, it was as if you were joined in an eternal way with a friend of your soul, in some incredible recognition of the sublime affinity between the two. Originally, the myth was that each human was two in one, but they were split and separated, consequently they spent most of their lives searching for their other half. In the Celtic idea of the anam cara, the anam cara is the other half that you have been missing. In coming into the gift and grace of friendship, you enter into your own fullest completion. You are also being gifted with a dimension of your soul that was hungry and lost and is now found. That kind of attraction, passion, affinity and belonging is a profound experience of birthing one’s own identity." --John O'Donohue

Quick update

2006-01-17T17:50:00.000-05:00

1) Thanks to several friends who Saved My Bacon, the move is largely complete! I still have some random junk to get from the house, but we're sleeping at the new place and almost all our furniture is there, so that should count as done. Huge relief.

2) Catri's hip is better but not healed yet so I have to take her in to get an X-ray tonight just to make sure nothing else is going on.

3) The name change process has started! (Sorry, Brian... inconveniencing your address book is not sufficient reason for me :)) Now to see how badly it screws up my work systems...

4) We have a message about someone interested in our class. Crossing fingers, 'cause it's a really cool workshop and I want to generate enough interest to get to run it this time.

5) I become older tomorrow. :)

6) I'm BURIED with work at work. Just when I don't need it. Whee.

7) What does one wear to a formal ball, does anyone know? I assume floor length is de rigueur, yes? My only floor length is probably too cold to wear this time of year. Hrm.

Why my daughter has been largely immobile this week

2006-01-13T09:15:00.000-05:00

Never heard of it before, but she has transient synovitis of the hip:

http://familydoctor.org/181.xml

Though she finally got over her viral exanthem -- which is fancy for 'rash caused by a virus'.

Now, as our doctor said, "The real question, of course, is what's going on with her immune system that makes her get rashes and joint inflammation any time a virus walks by. Unfortunately, we don't have simple tests for that one yet..."

Meanwhile, taking care of her has simply eaten my packing time. I'm now so panicked I'm past panicked, if that makes sense. It'll happen, 'cause it has to...

A fast update from a frantic woman

2006-01-10T23:26:00.000-05:00

(Anyone who was going to finish that statement "a fast woman" must know something about me I don't. :) Or maybe you need to get to know m... anyway. :) )

1) Did I pack this weekend? No, no, NO, no.
2) Did I spend the weekend throwing up, down, and sleeping? Yes, yes, YES, yes.
3) Did I have to take my daughter to the medcheck tonight for what turned out to be lingering effects of the same virus 10 days after she first showed symptoms? Yes, yes, YES, yes.
4) Am I so far behind in packing it's not funny now? Yes, yes, YES, yes.

EEEK. Just... eeek. And did I mention EEK?

The 15th comes way too soon.

OH. And I lose DSL at the new place! WAH! Serves me right for moving without checking the distance from a telco central office, huh? So I'll be stuck with cable modem 'cause it's the ONLY, repeat ONLY high-speed internet available at that address, period. And only from ONE cable company. Anti-trust laws indeed!

I do, however, have some good news:
1) I can see the kids becoming more comfortably independent each day. The boy, when faced with both mom and sister basically in bed all weekend, did beautifully with feeding himself, running to the corner store and getting Mom gatorade, and in general was pretty impressively mature. The girl, in the times when she's seemed well before re-symptomizing (is that a word? It is now!), has tied her hair back in a bandana and frankly done better than Mom at tackling huge piles of chaos to get things packed (we do have SOME done. Just not NEARLY enough.) It's like my daughter disappears and some Goddess of Domesticity is in her place. The girl also got nominated for some cool young scholars thing that I am darned if I know how I'd find the money to send her to, but I'd sure like to. And the boy stayed up to finish math homework, the thing that he was about to flunk out for not doing, because there's a new "incentive program" at school for it and because he's decided it's time to look like he has the brain he does. Darned proud of both of them, really.

2) Meanwhile, after panicking for months over the impending responsibility, Mom's calmly dealing with dinner, homework, packing, dishes, laundry, etc. We've discovered a late-night grocery run is still possible if I'm quick; doesn't hurt them to be home alone at night for 40 minutes when I'm on cell and less than 10 minutes away at any time. Also discovered that just the three of us is astonishingly cheap to cook for, and that, if I accept that I'm no gourmet and never will be, I can still keep us (and the guinea pigs!) nutritionally reaonsonably balanced. Do I miss some aspects of my social life? More than I care to admit. But I'll figure out how to balance the rest of it later. I'm just happy that this part is much less painful than I feared.

3) Have ads in and fliers going up for the next seminar. I'm proud of the fliers (note, these are LOW resolution versions; don't think I don't know better than to mot use better resolution for printing!):
http://www.achievegrowth.org/trust%20me-female-web.png
http://www.achievegrowth.org/trust%20me-male-web.png
Now, if this time we can get participants!

4) I have after-school childcare for really a quite ridiculously cheap price, that the bus will take them to and from, that lets them stay in their current schools for the rest of the year, and that gives them some fun structured activities, field trips, covers snow days, half-days, 2-hour delays... the works. This was my greatest unresolved dilemna and will actually let me work longer than 8 hours if I have to (project go-live ahead, you know). I can't begin to tell you how relieved I am.

So despite the fact that I'm convinced movers will show and won't be able to find anything to move because none of it will be packed and all of it will be under the CHAOS that is my filthy house, things are actually going well.

And now, to fall over go BOOM, 'cause I'm exhausted!

(Wait, didn't I say this would be a fast update? Guess fast doesn't mean short, huh? Well, I've been remiss in posting recently, so I owed the blog a couple minutes. And it would have been really a couple minutes if some stupid auto update wasn't trying to occur in the background of this computer, thus giving me typing lag. Don't you hate typing lag?)

...Guess what? I'm so tired I'm punchy and babbling. Tell me to go ni-ni now. "Ni-ni now!"

Note the change in my profile!!!

2005-12-31T16:14:00.000-05:00

For those of you who are looking and going "what change?", or only noticed the AE and Delta Shift comments, what I' m really referring to is the removal of the word in parenthesis that used to be after the word "unmarried". Yes, there's no "almost" there - a year after the papers were filed (!) I am finally, legally...

SINGLE!!!

Funny, because I didn't think it was weighing on me that much, or that I really cared what the legal status was, or even that I so desperately wanted to be divorced. (Not that I didn't NOT want to be, but you understand the difference, I hope...). Yet I feel almost euphoric, knowing it's done.

I think it may be that it was just hanging for SO long. And it's the final door that needed to be closed to get on with my new life. Closure is a good thing.

So, last call for anyone who has a compelling reason for me not to take back my maiden name with the French pronunciation -- speak now, or I start the long and tedious process of name changing!

Happy New Year, indeed!

Love heals...

2005-12-28T02:03:00.000-05:00

But we already knew that, didn't we? Still, it's nice when science confirms the mind-body connection.

They make it sound so easy...

2005-12-26T02:02:00.000-05:00

from the "What Are You Looking For In A Man" test...

(And notably accurate, btw...)

Suzanne, you're a Romance Middle High!

Romance - 7 on a scale of 1 - 10 (where 1 is "less romantic")
Although you're a sucker for romance, you'll probably cut a guy some slack even if he doesn't constantly pamper you with gifts and affection. You crave passion in your relationships, so you want a guy who can (and will) express his deepest feelings for you through his actions. Someone like Richard Gere or George Clooney, perhaps? But you know that men aren't very romantic, so you're willing to lower your standards in this area if need be. Chances are you're willing to stick around once the courting period ends, though it's still very important that your guy occasionally dote upon you. Your realistic-yet-hopeful outlook will guarantee you a good catch!

Maturity - 6.5 on a scale of 1 - 10 (where 1 is "less important")
There's no denying that men are like fine wine — they definitely get better with age. It's not hard to understand why, when you consider all the benefits of getting older, which is why you like your guys a bit older and more mature. Suave and sophisticated, a mature-yet-fun man — like Regis Philbin or Kelsey Grammer's "Frasier" character — would be more likely to settle down into a real relationship and make a lasting commitment. On the other hand, your answers show that you don't go for stiffs who can't crack a joke. What's the point if there's no spontaneity, right? It sounds like you go for guys with experience and a sense of humor that's dry as a fine Chablis, but with a hint of spice.

Lifestyle - 3.5 on a scale of 1 - 10 (where 1 is "less important")
Love doesn't come cheap, but it doesn't have to be all that expensive, either. It sounds like you're not very concerned about your ideal man's financial situation. Of course, we all dream of living well, but it's a mistake to mix your expectations of love with your hopes for a first-class lifestyle. Based on your answers, it seems like money isn't a real romantic concern for you. On the airplane of love, you're just as happy traveling coach as first class. (Two TV guys who live up to your financial expectations — or lack thereof — are Chandler and Ross from "Friends.") Being detached from materialist concerns is a healthy, realistic attitude and should help make you happy. It means that when Mr. Right crosses your path, you'll be sure to recognize him and not worry about the size of his wallet.

Looks - 3 on a scale of 1 - 10 (where 1 is "less important")
You seem to know instinctively that love is blind, so why rule out any potential suitors? Sure, you probably prefer a looker (who doesn't?!), but you don't have strict standards by which you measure a potential date's physical appearance. Nicolas Cage? Ben Stiller? Just your style. Not only does this tendency reflect your innate good nature, but it also indicates that you'll be more apt to find your ideal man, since you're not someone who shuts the door on anyone who couldn't make a magazine cover. Of course, just because you're willing to look past the surface doesn't mean that your guy will be anything less than stunning. Whoever he is and whatever he looks like, you'll find him because your mind and heart are open.

[and what's wrong with Nicholas Cage's looks, anyway? I guess the fact that I say that makes them correct?]

I've got what I want for Christmas...

2005-12-24T01:49:00.000-05:00

...an approval on the apartment!!!

WHEW.

Not to say that's a HUGE relief or anything. Not being homeless is a GOOD thing. Living someplace that doesn't, frankly, feel like the slums is even better. Having 1650 square foot with hardwoods and huge closets in a complex that I think is just gorgeous is even better than that!

I is a northsider now!

...oh my g-d now I have to PACK...

One thing at a time; let's get through Christmas first.

But... HOORAY.

Soon, they'll take over...

2005-12-21T17:27:00.000-05:00

Robot Demonstrates Self-Awareness

Are you brave enough to set goals in writing?

2005-12-19T08:20:00.000-05:00

If so, maybe you should talk to your future self to do so:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051219/ap_on_hi_te/future_e_mails

Time capsule e-mails. There's a fun idea!

I'm also going to put apartment applications in today or tomorrow. I'd appreciate prayers, good thoughts, whatever kind of energy you send, that at least one of 'em is accepted...

And so now I'm on my own...

2005-12-15T11:42:00.000-05:00

"On My Own"

I'm wiser now
I'm not the foolish girl you used to know
So long ago
I'm stronger now
I've learned from my mistakes which way to go
And I should know
I put myself aside to do it your way
But now I need to do it all alone

And I am not afraid to try it on my own
I don't care if I'm right or wrong
I'll live my life the way I feel
No matter what I'll keep it real you know
Time for me to do it on my own

It's over now
I can't go back to living through your eyes
Too many lies
And if you don't know by now
I can't go back to being someone else
Not anymore
I never had a chance to do things my way
So now it's time for me to take control

And I am not afraid to try it on my own
I don't care if I'm right or wrong
I'll live my life the way I feel
No matter what I'm gonna keep it real you know
Time for me to do it

Oh I start again go back to one
I'm running things my way
Can't stop me now, I've just begun
Don't even think about it
There ain't no way about it
I'm taking names, the ones of mine
Yes I'm gonna take my turn
It's time for me to finally stand alone, stand alone

I am not afraid to try it on my own
And I don't care if I'm right or wrong
I'll live my life the way I feel
No matter what I'm gonna keep it real you know
It's time for me to do it
See I'm not afraid

All I have to say is...

2005-12-14T17:10:00.000-05:00

Tracy Ullman as Winnifred!

I think I must see this version. :)

edited December 28 - We got it on DVD and watched it tonight - it was fabulous!

But what if I don't draw the same conclusion from this?

2005-12-13T16:30:00.000-05:00

"Married People Happier Than Others"
http://www.4woman.org/news/english/529511.htm

Researchers analyzed information collected from 691 people and found that the stronger the commitment, the greater the sense of happiness and well-being. Married people had the highest sense of well-being, whether they were happily married or not. Next on the scale of happiness and well-being were people who were living together, followed by people in steady relationships and those in casual relationships.... "Some commitment appears to be good, but more commitment appears to be even better..."

But let me give you an alternative interpretation to ponder: Does this really mean that married people are happier?

Or does it mean that we need to do a better job teaching people that they are responsible for their own happiness, and that they don't need a relationship to prove their self-worth?

For that matter, how do we know that it's the committment that is the cause of the sense of well-being? All other things being equal, don't you normally enjoy being around someone who feels good about themselves more than someone who is insecure? That being the case, suppose the results actually come from the fact that the people had the greater sense of well-being first, and that the sense of well-being is what caused someone else to want to marry them, rather than the marriage causing the well-being? Indeed, since it says that being "happily married" isn't a factor, I would suspect that this is the more likely scenario.

Just some thoughts...

Ok, if anyone knows anything bad about these apts speak now

2005-12-12T17:32:00.000-05:00

Anyone know anything about http://www.chateaudevilleapts.com/?
Am looking pretty seriously at them.
It would put one kid in John Strange Elementary and one in Eastwood Middle School. But not until next year; this year they can finish the year where they're at.

Am very, very stressy this week, as you can imagine. I'll make it. It helps if I keep telling myself that.

You know, I'm not even sure I'd really call myself an Allison Krauss fan...

2005-12-10T00:23:00.000-05:00

I mean, I like her, but I'm not a fan.

So how come it's always her lyrics I post?

(Well, not always... but it does seem like she sings my heart's songs more often than not...)

So here it is, my theme song for the month, for sure!

(Though the sky isn't raining, it's snowing, far too much.
And my heart has not grown cold. A bit tired, perhaps...
Oh, and I'm learning to feed that hunger myself, rather than look for it from someone else. Now, sharing the meal with another is a delightful thing... but I don't need another to feed the hunger, if you understand the difference.
Ok, maybe the only part that really fits is the chorus...)

GET ME THROUGH DECEMBER
Vocals: Alison Krauss
Lyrics: Gordie Sampson & Fred Lavery
Based on the melody 'Neil Gow's Lament For The Death of His Second Wife'

How pale is the sky that brings forth the rain
As the changing of seasons prepares me again
For the long bitter nights and the wild Winter day
My heart has grown cold my love stored away
My heart has grown cold my love stored away

I've been to the mountain left my tracks in the snow
Where souls have been lost and the walking wounded go
I've taken the pain no girl should endure
But faith can move mountains of that I am sure
Faith can move mountains of that I am sure

Get me through December
A promise I'll remember
Just get me through December
So I can start again

No divine purpose brings freedom from sin
And peace is a gift that must come from within
I've looked for the love that will bring me to rest
Feeding this hunger beating strong in my chest
Feeding this hunger beating strong in my chest

Get me through December
A promise I'll remember
Just get me through December
So I can start again...

(One last parenthetical comment: this is a song worth looking for, whether or not it fits my mood completely, as it's not only Allison Krauss, but Natalie MacMaster's fiddle, which is a glorious thing...)

Now here's a diet I can get into!

2005-12-06T12:19:00.000-05:00

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/12/05/AR2005120500586.html

In this article he says,

"One of the advantages of intuitive eating is you're always eating things that are most appealing to you, not out of emotional reasons, not because it's there and tastes good," he said. "Whenever you feel the physical urge to eat something, accept it and eat it. The cravings tend to subside...."

Can I argue that as far as I know, you don't get physical urges to eat anything specific? I mean, if the tummy's grumbly, the tummy's grumbly. The cravings for something specific, by definition, are emotional, right?

Now, that being said, I have found that when I get a serious jones for something specific, I might as well eat it, or I'll just graze until I get what I want. The trick, as with everything, is moderation.

Comments and Questions

2005-12-04T12:13:00.000-05:00

1) Not only does coffee sober you up, it sobers your liver up too?

2) I must praise the humility of this forecaster: " 'There are no clear reasons and I'm not going to make one up to explain the recent strengthening of Epsilon,' hurricane forecaster Lixian Avila said..." No one should be afraid to say they don't know something. Especially in a year with such unusual weather.

3) Anyone know anything about the Fountain Parc apartment complex? I'm considering it...

4) Is the Washington Township school system really everything it's cracked up to be? Before I pull my kids out of programs that are (con) in IPS but (pro) really working for them right now, I'd like to know. (Along with that, does anyone have any personal recommendations for any other school systems?)

My name may be different by the end of the year

2005-12-01T00:18:00.000-05:00

Both cars are fixed, at a total cost of around $165. Not something I had to spend right now, but far less than what I feared. So that's better than it could have been.

And great news: IF the person at the court today was correct, once the almost-ex and I take our "What Divorce Does To Your Kids" courses next week, the judge signs our papers and it's all finally done. Seems like a lot of paperwork for something fairly anticlimactical.

(no, there was NO pun intended there. Get yer minds outta the gutter there, people! :) :) :))

But I'm quite glad it will be settled before the end of the year. Pragmatically, it's nice to not have to deal with next year's taxes jointly. For him, it's going to be good to move with all the loose ends tied up, and his lady will be happy about this too, quite understandably! :) (Yes, I realize no one understands why I'm not angry or jealous; just accept the fact that I am genuinely happy he has someone, because I probably can't explain it to you...)

And for me, it means I start the new year with a new name, a new home as soon as I can possibly financially manage it, a new business, and if it doesn't completely sound corny, a new attitude. I'm not sure what's happened to me completely the last few months -- get back to me on this -- but I'm sure happy that it has. I know it has something to do with understanding that detachment is not necessarily dispassionate. It simply means that, instead of being passionate when something lives up to my expectations, I get to be passionate about whatever happens. Which actually ends up being far more often, I might add!

It feels good. Rich. Whole. Joyful.

How many people get the chance to wipe the slate clean and start over? I think this is a good thing. I'm excited about the possibilities.

A new life for the new year. I like this.

The pen is sexier than the sword...

2005-11-30T08:30:00.000-05:00

For all my creative male friends who were ever picked on for choosing the arts over sports, here's a study that says that artists get the girls!

So maybe I should pay more attention to Louise Hay and the like...

2005-11-29T08:07:00.000-05:00

"Research is showing the power of expectations, that they have physical -- not just psychological -- effects on your health."

So perhaps I should be a bit less skeptical of folks like Louise Hay?

Not that I didn't agree that our thoughts affect reality, just that I'm very... cautious... about it. (See my comments in this blog post for commentary on one reason why I'm cautious.)

I know, I know, my partner is reading this and snickering "I-told-you-so" now. :) That's why we make such good business partners, though: when my skepticism borders on pessimism, his optimism keeps it from becoming negative thinking, and when he's so hopeful that he might be about to commit too many resources, I can suggest pitfalls to avoid so that the optimistic outcome can happen.

In other news, as if we needed more difficulties on the home front, first my car died (I believe it's the starter, though one can hope it's only a battery)... THEN last night someone smashed in the passenger side window on the car that's WORKING, to steal a portable CD player worth maybe $20 and some CDs I burned off the computer. Sigh. I hope they enjoy it; my kids already are getting virtually nothing for Christmas this year because moving expenses are so high, and that's not going to help matters any. I will not stress I will not stress I will believe that the money will show up when it has to...

Does it help if I keep saying that to myself? I sure hope so.

And for that matter, had I mentioned here that it looks like not only will the ex be moving, but the kids and I will also be going to an apartment? If I hadn't, well, now you know. :) Not sure the timing on this (although after the vandalism, my thought is "tomorrow would not be too soon") but sometime within the next few months.

However, we did start formal testing on the SAP implementation at work yesterday, and I made it through the first day of testing without any security defects! This almost makes me worry. :)

Ok, maybe I am a pessimist. Except I don't feel like I am. Even when I worry, I do genuinely trust that all will be well. I think maybe I just always expect the happy ending to show up by the skin of its teeth after much turmoil, when you least expect it. Perhaps I've been inspired by the Muse of Plot too often to believe that happy endings can come without some sort of conflict resolution first?

Then again, that IS how we learn...

Finding support where you need it...

2005-11-28T10:19:00.000-05:00

As I move into the less-than-three-weeks-to-full-time-single-parenthood countdown, I found this article useful, and am gratified as to how many people I can put in the "emotional support" category. Every day I am aware of how blessed I am to have the supportive friends I have. Thank you all.

Now here's a meme I can get into...

2005-11-25T23:46:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Exhausted Mind. :)

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic

Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few.
But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky.

Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski

If Your Life Was a Movie, What Genre Would It Be?

Mindless memes

2005-11-22T08:30:00.000-05:00

Your Birthdate: January 18

You are a cohesive force - able to bring many people together for a common cause.
You tend to excel in work situations, but you also facilitate a lot of social gatherings too.
Beyond being a good leader, you are good at inspiring others.
You also keep your powerful emotions in check - you know when to emote and when to repress.

Your strength: Emotional maturity beyond your years

Your weakness: Wearing yourself down with too many responsibilities

Your power color: Crimson red

Your power symbol: Snowflake

Your power month: September

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

And I just am not sure what to think of this one...

Your Daddy Is Arnold Schwarzenegger

What You Call Him: Big Daddy

Why You Love Him: He gives good spankings

Who's Your Daddy?

Who knew?

In a Past Life...

You Were: An Obese Fortune Teller.

Where You Lived: South Africa.

How You Died: Dysentery.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

And rude comments on THIS are NOT necessary... ;)

You Are Smoked Salmon Pate Soda

Tasting like fish ain't so bad!

What Jones Holiday Soda Are You?

Now, off to work. On time, darnit! :)

Tag - I'm it!

2005-11-19T00:09:00.000-05:00

I have been memed by an exhausted mind. Given how exhausted I am lately, this seems oddly appropriate. :)

My mission, which I have chosen to accept:

Go into your archives.
Find your 23rd post.
Post the fifth sentence (or closest to it).
Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
Tag five other people to do the same thing.

Now, the trick is (a) counting my posts and (b) coming up with 5 other people to tag. :) Hmm...

*saves as draft in order to go count, then returns*

And the sentence is:

Meanwhile, if you feel bleary Monday, here's the mathematical reason why: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/4187183.stm

Hey, at least the link is still good!

Now, to tag...

And time to see if anyone else reads this journal (who I know has a blog)... :)

Wednesday
Elfwench - since I just heard from her other half that she and the hospital got to be chummy recently, perhaps she could use a distraction...

Well, we didn't end up running the seminar Saturday...

2005-11-14T13:59:00.000-05:00

We were ready, though, by golly -- I had the manual written and everything. :) Just didn't have participants. I need to figure out if we mispriced, didn't advertise enough, didn't publicize -long- enough, didn't have effective advertising, or if it was just the November "too-busy-with-the-upcoming-holidays" syndrome. However, we spent the day in a "business plan retreat" and have ideas for the future.

Ok, I can't help it; I'm one of those weird people who -likes- planning stuff like this. Mind you, I love the concept of teaching the classes and getting to do what is, for lack of a better term, my vocation. Even though the classes themselves aren't about spirituality (of course, to me all life is spiritual, but that's my thing. :) ), teaching them is the best way I can think of to carry out what I believe is my mission in life: to help people feel better about themselves. That's what I've enjoyed about creating and leading services at church, and that's what I enjoyed about being a priestess all those years. And jointly, this is our way of trying to make the world a better place: things like the riots in Paris are a very dramatic example of why we think it's important to teach people that they are stronger than their fears, and that at their core they are powerful and empowered beings of love. But turns out I love the whole business planning part of it too: figuring out effective publicity and instructional design and web design and everything else I get to do with this.

Which I guess is what being an "entrepeneurial type" is about, huh?