Back from vacation!

The kids are gone to camp for two weeks (YAY!) so the OAG* and I took off for a spontaneous weekend down in New Harmony which was relaxing and just what I needed after the work I've put in over the last month. Let's hear it for great food and time in a jacuzzi!

And I didn't even know this song, but after looking at the lyrics, I can agree with this...

Your Summer Anthem is Speed of Sound by Coldplay All that noise, and all that sound, All those places I got found. And birds go flying at the speed of sound, to show you how it all began. You're out of your mind this summer, in a good way.

What's Your 2005 Summer Anthem?

Full lyrics:
How long before I get in?
Before it starts, before I begin?
How long before you decide?
Before I know what it feels like?
Where to, where do I go?
If you never try, then you'll never know.
How long do I have to climb,
Up on the side of this mountain of mine?
Look up, I look up at night,
Planets are moving at the speed of light.
Climb up, up in the trees,
every chance that you get,
is a chance you seize.
How long am I gonna stand,
with my head stuck under the sand?
I'll start before I can stop,
before I see things the right way up.
All that noise, and all that sound,
All those places I got found.
And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
to show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
if you could see it then you'd understand?
Ideas that you'll never find,
All the inventors could never design.
The buildings that you put up,
Japan and China all lit up.
The sign that I couldn't read,
or a light that I couldn't see,
some things you have to believe,
but others are puzzles, puzzling me.

-=-=-
* Officer and Gentleman - so named in a previous post... And the picture, while good (and in dress uniform, yummy!) doesn't look much like him - he's never not smiling!

Centrist, with Libertarian Tendencies

From a quiz at http://www.quiz2d.com/:

Description

Your views call for a bit more liberty than we currently have in the United States today.
Vote in some Libertarians into the legislatures that affect you and you will get your desires fulfilled. Note that the Libertarian Party calls for a far greater amount of freedom than you appear to desire, so you currently don't want them to have a clear majority.
But think of a tub of cold bathwater. To get it warm enough to be comfortable, you add hot water, not ideal temperature water. The Libertarian Party is made of hot-blooded lovers of liberty, ideally suited for counterracting the power-mongers who dwell in our legislative bodies.
But once you have warmed up the bath, you may find it pleasant to go hotter still. Freedom is addictive once you have experienced it.

Suggested Links

(note: I haven't checked these out yet - they're just what the quiz recommended)

• http://www.holisticpolitics.org/ Freedom, equality, nature,...these are all good things. All to often, political debate rages over which is more important. Synergies get overlooked. There is a better way, holistic politics. By looking at multiple values at the same time, it is possible to come up with creative solutions for the world's problems, solutions that make all the factions more happy.
• http://www.libertarianism.com
• The Libertarian Party
• http://www.tpaine.org/
• http://www.free-market.net/
• http://www.freeliberal.com/

Nothing I can add more than this song already says...

Survey!

Swiped from Chorus...

Movie quotes they missed

(See last blog post for the AFI's list of top 100 quotes)

I thought it'd be fun to compile quotes we think should have made the list.

How about...

• "I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days." --Bull Durham
• "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain." --Wizard of Oz
• Why nothing from Star Wars? (I mean, back then, Lucas actually put quotable dialogue in his movies!) What about, "I find your lack of faith... disturbing." or "Use the Force, Luke!", or even "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...", if the criteria is "quotes that have become part of our culture".
• And they didn't use the 2001 quote I would have used. I would have used "My God... it's full of stars!"

A few that are not so well known that I think they should have made the list, but that are favorite quotes of mine all the same:
"Of course he has a knife, he always has a knife, we all have knives! It's 1183 and we're barbarians!" -- Lion in Winter
"Who wants to go down the creepy tunnel inside the tomb first?" --National Treasure
"Will someone get this big walking carpet out of my way?" --Star Wars

More as I think of 'em!

I must be missing something...

This Reuters article says "the U.S. Air Force Academy failed to accommodate minority beliefs but there is no overt religious discrimination at the college." But in the same article they "described a campus chaplain telling cadets they would "burn in the fires of hell" if they were not born-again Christians." Someone explain to me how that is not overt religious discrimination? I must be missing something...

Meanwhile, for your entertainment, the American Film Institute compiled the top 100 film quotes of all time. Amazing how many of these get misquoted. Also amazing how many of them I know and how few of the movies I've actually seen. :)

What's in a name?

As the divorce papers that began the filing process before New Years' are actually, truly filed now (a comedy of errors involving having them sent back at least twice - if anyone out there files in Indiana, know the forms must be in triplicate -- apparently they can't photocopy 'em themselves!-- and you must pay with a money order only. Grr.) I am now thinking about names. Should I go back to my maiden name? Let me share some of the pros and cons.

CONS
1) If I changed my name, it would be different than the kids'. Now, this is common enough nowadays as to not cause too many questions - between multiple marriages and divorces, and the fact that as UUs we tend to be around people who were liberated enough not to change names when they got married, it might cause a bit of confusion, but not shock or dismay. I am, however, not sure if it will bother the -kids-. But if you take my poll, please assume that it's ok with them, and I promise I'll check it with them before I do anything. :) (edited 19Jun05 to verify that yes, the kids are OK with this--we talked last night.)

2) I've used my current name in business for the last 13 years; it's the only name I've ever had at Lilly, and it is a big ol' PITA to change your name at work - you become hard to find in e-mail for people who don't know your new name, and you have to fill out forms for a billion different systems (though it's easier for me now than it would have been when I was at the helpdesk - at one point, I had counted, and had more than 22 separate login accounts!!! S'what happens when you have password change privleges, and provide backup support to every support queue.) Now, it's certainly not not-do-able; just complex.

3) I hesitate to take my dad's name back when he and I don't particularly get along. Is it a slap in my mom's face to take back the name of someone who hurt her that badly?

4) Darnit, if I take my maiden name back I go back to being at the end of the alphabet! :)

PROS
1) There is a certain appeal in having a name that is unlinked with another person. Until I changed my name for two marriages, I did think "what's in a name?" But the truth is, one's name DOES have something to do with how one perceives oneself. I know I had personality changes when I changed my name, and I think it contributed to the loss of self-identity I experienced in the early 90's (not the ONLY reason by a long shot; just one more straw on the camel's humph. :) ). You men out there don't have an equivalent experience, and it really -does- give some sort of psychological connotation of "ownership" or of being the person who changes, compromises, does all the giving in a relationship. That sounds too psychobabble-trite to be true, but in my experience there is a subconscious effect that I for one didn't expect before it happened. That's part of why making up a name is tempting. OTOH, making up a name involves a whole lot more explanation than just taking back one's maiden name. And besides, how would one make one up? I mean, I have one I used in the neopagan community - but that one was also linked to the ex, which makes it no different than keeping my current name. If part of the reason to do this is to identify myself unlinked with anyone else, then that name doesn't make sense to take either.

2) In support of taking back my maiden name, "Vachet," despite the fact that I don't get along very well with my dad and grandmother, the family name itself has interesting history. Through my Vachet name, I am descended from French royalty (Charlemaigne among others), as well as William of Orange (the man who freed the Netherlands for religious tolerance); Pierre You, one of the members of LaSalle's 1682 expedition down the Mississippi, who also married a Miami Indian; the first permanent settler in Indiana, and John and Pricilla Alden of the Mayflower. That's all pretty darned cool, and something I could honor, even if some members of my family have been flakes. :)

3) No one can spell or pronounce my maiden name - but no one can spell or pronounce my current name, either. :) However, I -could- (and this is an idea that appeals to me) take my maiden name back but pronounce it with its French pronunciation, "va-SHAY." Since the name has been in the Americas since the late 1600s, it's been Anglicized into "VA-chet." But when Mom named me, she was thinking of how pretty the name would sound if it were pronounced the French way: Suzanne Michelle Vachet. That would be a way of taking the name I was born with and making it mine. Would that be too pretentious?

(Added bonus: Had a distant cousin who changed the pronunciation and it royally ticked off my dad and grandparents. So if I wanted to be pissy, it'd be appropriate. :))

4) In re: hesitating to link with family members who I don't get along with, the advantage is that there are hardly any of them around any more - there weren't that many in the first place - and so it's not like they'll know one way or the other anyway, or that anyone else will know them to link me to them. Besides which, I -like- my aunt. (Though, of course, she doesn't go by her maiden name either. Come to think of it, she might have the longest-lasting marriage I can think of. Given that my uncle's pretty cool himself, I think they've both done well.)

The more I think of it, the more I'm leaning towards that French pronunciation option. Anyone want to chime in an opinion?

What's in a name? Should I change my name when my divorce is final? No, keep your current name so that it is the same as your kids name. No, keep your current name because it is the only name you have been known by at work. Yes, change it to your maiden name, but pronounce it va-SHAY. Yes, change it to your maiden name, and pronounce it the way the rest of your family did when you were growing up (VA-chet). Yes, but change it to a name you made up for yourself (if you select this option, please post any suggestions in the comments section of my blog!). view results Easy online poll builder - free! $5 Web Hosting!

Poem

Wide-eyed, wild-eyed,
for a moment the man
is eclipsed by the boy.
He knows.
He remembers.
And deftly he rescues you,
gnaws free your dangerously-mired heart.

Holes?
An unavoidable consequence.
Well worth the cost.
Bleeding is irrelevant.

(c) 2005

Boy, you can tell my project deadlines from my lack of posts

So. Here it is Wednesday morning, and I'm finally ready to turn in a document that was due by EOB (that's "end of business" for you acronymically challenged [Acronymically? Is that a word? It is now!]) Monday. Waiting on my boss to review it before it goes off into the document pile that is our global security office.

Have some fun numbers!
1) 43 - the number of pages it has turned out to be. So far; I also have a set of Word docs to go with the Powerpoint doc. But those are just copy/pastes from the Powerpoint, so I'm waiting a bit to do those. Why? Because of the next number...
2) 7 - the number of hours I have slept in the last 72. Yes, really. Even legal stimulants don't help at this point!
3) 11 - the number of those hours that I've spent at the ball park during that time. Even in the midst of non-sleeping deadlines, I'm still a mom.

Why am I blogging? Because I'm waiting for my boss to give me the ok to email the document, and I sure don't have the coherency to do real work right now!

Oh, wait, I forgot to add one piece of data...

(gee, maybe the person who called me a perfectionist last year might have a point after all...)

A story in five songs, three acts

All Alison Krauss/Union Station. Don't know why they tend to have lyrics that fit my life so well. Maybe I should try to cover some of them, make them less bluegrass...

(edited later to correct lyrics, and also to add the disclaimer that genders in some lyrics were changed to make them fit the person I had in mind while posting them...)

Act 1:

"Crazy As Me"

I'm used to being alone.
Except for six month playings without rings and phone bills that outweigh the phone.
This is the life that I chose.
I got no complaints if she is or she ain't--
if she's not, I guess she'll send me a rose.

Just don't ask me for the truth if you choose to love me.
And don't try to open my door with your skeleton key.
Some folks seem to think I only got one problem.
I can't find nobody as crazy as me.

I still love what I know.
I love to ride alone and sing a song and listen to the radio.
You can ride along and if you change your mind, well, that's just fine,
But there is somethin' that you got to know.

Just don't ask me for the truth if you choose to love me.
And don't try to open my door with your skeleton key.
Some folks seem to think I only got one problem.
I can't find nobody as crazy as me.

-=0=-

Act 2:

"Borderline"

So you're on your own lookin' down the road that goes only by one name
And you don't need the signs to see lonely still runs both ways
So who's the fool who would think the ties would be better off undone
Did your heart even warn you when you veered from the path that was narrower and straight

On the borderline
Somewhere between the flight for freedom
Feeling like you can't move on
The chore will be the time
To take you off of my mind and out of my heart I know
And when you cross over there's no turning back
Once that burning bridge is gone

I may lose but I'm in it for the long run
Loving you for good reason could be the wrong one
I don't wanna lose control but the heart won't learn
To leave well enough alone

On the borderline
Somewhere between the flight for freedom
Feeling like you can't move on
The chore will be the time
To take you off of my mind and out of my heart I know
And when you cross over there's no turning back
Once that burning bridge is gone

So you're on your own lookin' down the road that goes only by one name

-=0=-

"One Good Reason"

Just give me one good reason tonight
Must be something you could say to me
To keep me warm on this cold dark night
Can you bring out the best in me?

That old moon in shining brightly
Up above the midnight plains
I only want your love to guide me
Back through the night and take us home again

Can I bring out the best in you as well?
Must be some way you could let me know
While we wait out the sun, only time will tell
Will you love me or let me go?

That old moon in shining brightly
Up above the midnight plains
I only want your love to guide me
Back through the night and take us home again

So now my friend with this gentle plea
Can you tell me what is on your mind?
There’s just one good reason, that’s all I need:
to chase the sorrow from your eyes

That old moon in shining brightly
Up above the midnight plains
I only want your love to guide me
Back through the night and take us home again

-=0=-

Act 3:

"Daylight"

Daylight falls and I'm lost in the big parade.
Hold my hand, darling, I'm afraid of the daylight.
Shade is dark.
Cool and languid for life or love.
Safe in shadows; never stark as the daylight.
As the daylight.

When I was just knee high,
My poppa told me, never try,
To be someone that I am not.
Yet over time I had forgot,
The wandering child, so lost at play:
He's found himself but he can't find his way,
In the daylight.
Oh, the daylight.

Life is short, and there's no turning back the time.
Fragrant meadows and rocks to climb in the daylight.
In my mind,
There's a corner I need to turn.
Lessons lived is a lesson learned in the daylight.
In the daylight.

I miss the forest shade,
You took me there, the promise I made,
To never leave the dark so deep.
Safe and soothing, yet I fear,
As I recall and now reflect,
I see it's safer to connect,
To the daylight.
Oh, the daylight.

Daylight falls and I'm lost in the big parade.
Hold my hand, darling, I'm afraid of the daylight.
Of the day...Daylight

-=0=-

Epilogue:

"When You Say Nothing At All"

It’s amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don’t say a thing

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There’s a truth in your eyes sayin’ you’ll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Old mr. webster could never define
What’s being said between your heart and mine

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There’s a truth in your eyes sayin’ you’ll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

-=0=-

I may lose but I'm in it for the long run...

I like these!

Found at http://www.anvari.org/shortjoke/Funny3/1399.html - and I've added editorial comments throughout. :)

(And if you think you might note a slightly cynical note to some of the comments, you might be right. Seems appropriate at the moment. :P)

WOMEN'S 50 RULES FOR MEN
1. Call.
2. Don't lie. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! etc., ad nauseum, triple underline and put in 72 point type!)
3. Never tape any of her body parts together.
4. If guys' night out is going to be fun, invite the girls.
5. If guys' night out is going to involve strippers, remember the zoo rules: No Petting.
6. The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never, ever "Yes."
7. Ditto for "Is she prettier than me?"
8. Victoria's Secret is good. Frederick's of Hollywood is bad. (Editor's note: I'm not convinced of this :))
9. Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad.
10. Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad.
11. "Honey", "Darling", and "Sweetheart" are good. "Nag", "Lardass", and "Bitch" are bad.
12. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony.
13. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.
14. None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer, prettier, or better in bed .
15. Her cooking is excellent.
16. That isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking.
17. Dish soap is your friend.
18. Hat does not equal shower, after shave does not equal soap, and warm does not equal clean.
19. Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay.
20. Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never going to end that conversation. (Let's hear an "Amen Sister"!!!)
21. Ditto for "Whose lipstick is this?" (Ed. - or whose CDs *wry look* )
22. Two words: clean socks.
23. Believe it or not, you're probably not more attractive when you're drunk.
24. Burping is not sexy.
25. You're wrong.
26. You're sorry. (Ed. - Correlary to 26 - If you do it over and over again, you weren't really sorry!)
27. She is probably less impressed by your discourse on your cool car than you think she is. (Ed. - Actually, if he's really enthusiastic about it, I'll listen to discourse on almost anything. Most things are interesting when discussed with enthusiasm and passion.)
28. Ditto for your discourse on football. (Ed. - See above)
29. Ditto for your ability to jump up and hit any awning in a single bound. (Ed. - See above)
30. "Will you marry me?" is good. "Let's shack up together" is bad. (Ed: I wouldn't say this necessarily. Not every woman wants to get married.)
31. Don't assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood.
32. Don't assume PMS doesn't exist.
33. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything she feels like at that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice. (Ed. - I think this particular "silence" quality in women is as unappealing and disrespectful as lying is in men. Either communicate or don't, but don't play guessing games.)
34. "But, we kiss..." is not justification for using her toothbrush. You don't clean plaque with your tongue.
35. Never let her walk anywhere alone after 11 pm.
36. Chivalry and feminism are NOT mutually exclusive. (And how!)
37. Pick her up at the airport. Don't whine about it, just do it.
38. If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don't act like a complete jerk until she does it for you. (Ed. - If I didn't find it so obnoxious, I'd put this one in the "blink" HTML tag, I would!)
39. Don't tell her you love her if you don't.
40. Tell her you love her if you do. Often.
41. Always, always suck up to her brother. (Ed. - Irrelevant to me - no siblings. :))
42. Think boxers. (Ed. - I just don't care, so long as I like what's underneath them. :) :) :))
43. Silk boxers. (Ed. - Now silk has its points...)
44. Remember Valentine's Day, and any cheesy "anniversary" she so-names. (Ed. - Except for those of us who just don't care. But even then, surprise rememberances are fun...)
45. Don't try to change the way she dresses.
46. Her haircut is never bad.
47. Don't let your friends pick on her.
48. Call.
49. Don't lie.
50. The rules are never fair. Accept this without question. The fact that she has to go through labor while you sit in the waiting room on your a$$ smoking cigars isn't fair either, and it balances everything. (Ed. - I actually think these rules are fair, but I'm willing to hear debate from the gentlemen who read this...)

A slight reprieve, but only slight...

Edited to add links at the end...

Kickoff isn't until next Tuesday now. We're doing one session Thursday, but it's just the IT session, not one of the big manufacturing operations sessions.

What sessions? Well (not that any of you care, but since I'm likely to talk about it a lot in passing, I might as well try the explanation one time) my role at work is *takes deep breath* Local Security Steward and OCM Support (Organizational Change Management) for the IndyDry GBIP Release 12 Local Implementation Team at Eli Lilly and Company. *gasps for breath* The Officer and Gentleman ("OAG" from now on - I needed a blog nickname for him :) ) says he doesn't understand how I don't pass out when I record my greeting on my voice mail. :)

In words of less syllables, I do organization and security design and maintenance for our SAP implementation. Ok, that's not a -lot- less syllables, but I don't know how else to describe it.

*tries again* I gather the information that lets us figure out who needs what security, put together the security sets, and assign them to everyone. Along the way, I help people make new org charts since there are a lot of changes to who does what. Is that better? :)

Anyway... two of our major milestones are coming up, and they're two that I own. One is Future State Org Design (FSOD, not to be confused with FOAD). In FSOD sessions, we get people together and say, "Look at the jobs you have now. What tasks do they do? Now look at the future tasks and jobs. Are the same people doing them? Are there tasks that go away? Are there tasks that get added? Do you need more people, or less, or just to shift people around?"

Doing this for an organization of about 750 people is a Big Freakin' Job. And I run all the sessions. I mean, I have people there who can answer questions I can't (of which there are legion), both on the business side and on the SAP developer side, but in the middle is me to facilitate, compile the information we put together, and make sure we get all the data we need. 'Cause if we don't, we're likely to have people who don't have the right access in the system after implementation. And guess whose fault that would be? You got it.

I had a weird moment the other day, too. I was working on scheduling the sessions and our administrative assistant suggested I delegate my calendar to her so she could schedule things. This boggled my mind. I'm thinking, waitaminnit--it wasn't that many years ago that I *was* a secretary! I don't delegate calendars to other people. I'm used to -being- the admin, not -having- an admin! It was an odd feeling, to say the least.

Anyway, these are the sessions I'm scrambling to put together - make sure we have the right people invited, make sure all parts of the organization are covered, get things on people's calendars in time for them to actually show up, create presentations of "what we have now" and "what we're going to have" for about 15 BIG processes, hope the application engineers who really know what they're talking about show up... :)

Aiieeeee. Just... aiieee.

Don't get me wrong - I'm getting a big charge out of the job. I -think- I still like writing procedures more. But I like -owning- part of the implementation, and playing a bigger role, and getting to go over so much of the new processes with people.

I could, however, live without the deadlines.

More later, if I don't expire of sheer frantic busy-ness...

Links for the curious:

• Organizational Change Management info
• Organizational Design info
• What is SAP? Well, SAP is ERP (Enterprise Resource Planning) software. See this Google list for a bunch of definitions of ERP.
• SAP Security Design info (hey, watch me find things useful for me when I google this for my blog!)

I'd reverse these two...

Your Dominant Thinking Style:

Modifying Super logical and rational, you consider every fact available to you. You don't make rash decisions and are rarely moved by emotion. You prefer what's known and proven - to the new and untested. You tend to ground those around you and add stability.

Your Secondary Thinking Style:

Visioning You are very insightful and tend to make decisions based on your insights. You focus on how things should be - even if you haven't worked out the details. An idealist, thinking of the future helps you guide your path. You tend to give others long-term direction and momentum.

What's Your Thinking Style?

A 16th Century Rock Band?

I'm back to working a whole buncha hours right now, as my big project is coming up... three weeks earlier than we originally had in the project plan! So I'm scrambling to get things ready for two-and-a-half weeks of sessions in less than half the original planning time. Needless to say, I'm back to working days, nights, and weekends. Still, I took time to take the kids to St. Roch's carnival Friday night and go see Hitchhiker's Guide on Saturday with the gentleman friend and two of his friends, who I enjoyed meeting. (Hitchhiker was OK, not 'knock your socks off', but OK. I did think they got the surreal 'feel' of the book right. Fortunately, it's been long enough since I read the book that I couldn't tell you how closely it followed the plot. As if the book had a linear plot, anyway!) Sunday during the day, I worked several hours at home in an unusually and gloriously empty house (the kids' dad kindly took them away for a bit). And Sunday evening, the gentleman friend drove all the way downtown to take me and my laptop to the Abbey and buy me dinner, for the dubious pleasure of my company while my nose was in my laptop and my head in Microsoft Access (Access should be MUCH easier than it is, darnit!). So I spent another couple hours working there while he prepped for the class he's teaching today. Now that's what I call kindness.

While at the Abbey, my friend got the guy behind the counter talking (as he is wont to do--the man's never met a stranger!) and found out he has a record label, and is now trying to convince me to work on writing music more and doing open mics places like there. I do not think any of my music is anywhere near ready for public performance. For one thing, I don't actually play an instrument, I just put things together on computer, so the only part I could do "live" would be vocals unless I could find some other instrumentalist. And I just don't think I have enough songs, and those that I have I don't think are good enough for performance. I'm not normally known as being terribly shy or modest, so I -think- I'm being legitimately critical. OTOH, I can think of someone I know who writes who never thinks his work is good enough when I'm quite certain it is, so perhaps I'm having a similar issue. It's just not one I associate with myself, so I'm not sure. Perhaps I'll post a song or two (which is really all I have recorded) and see what people think. But not until after my project kickoff Wednesday! Aieeeee! (<--sound of distress)

Meanwhile, also while at the Abbey, we got given a flier for a group playing there Friday night, and if I can swing childcare I think we'll go. The group is called Il Troubadore and bills itself as "Indy's 16th Century Rock Band." This sounds like fun! And by Friday, I'm sure I'll need some fun...

Go with the flow!

You Have A Type B+ Personality

B+ You're a pro at going with the flow You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer A total joy to be around, people crave your stability. While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity. Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done You're passionate - just selective about your passions

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

Emotional safety, huh?

Somehow, this is a subject on my mind right now. :P
The brightener
You scored as 62% safe! You also scored 52% humble.

You're a tactful person and tend to brighten the days of those who know you. You go out of your way to help people and not hurt them, although from time to time you do make a stand for truth and for yourself, even at the expense of others. However, you do this rarely enough that people should usually feel their emotions are safe with you.

My test tracked 2 variables: How you compared to other people, and your age and gender:

You scored higher than 57% on safeness

You scored higher than 84% on humility

Link: The Emotional Safety Test written by kp0041 on OkCupid Free Online Dating

Sometimes it takes local government...

A coalition of US Mayors --bipartisan, no less! --is choosing to voluntarily follow Kyoto, even when Shrub our national government has chosen not to. Another argument for decentralized government! And for people who don't have their head in the sand (around their oil well, no doubt...) .

Oh, and this one too

Moody Blues night
Within Your Eyes

Within your eyes so many good hellos and sad goodbyes,
Your future shines, the past reclines
Yet still you seek to find
A place to run, you can't hide yourself behind the sun,
Your wings will burn, you'll never learn
That life must carry on.

For you could be the dancing breeze
That moves the trees to shed their leaves around you,
Or you could be the light in me
That shows the way my life could be around you.

When you feel low you try so hard but still you let it show,
Such foolish pride, you're hurt inside,
I know, so why pretend?
When love goes wrong you're left to sing a very empty song,
Your love was blind, but that's no crime;
True love is hard to find.

But you could be the dancing breeze
That moves the trees to shed their leaves around you,
Or you could be the light in me
That shows the way my life could be around you.

Today's lyrics

The Moody Blues
I Dreamed Last Night

Oh I dreamed last night I was hearing
Hearing your voice,
And the things you said well they left me
Left me no choice,
And you told me we had the power,
And you told me this was the hour,
But you don't know how,
If I could show you now.

Well I dreamed last night you were calling
Calling my name,
You were locked inside of your secrets
Calling my name,
And you told me lost was the key,
And you told me how you long to be free,
But that you don't know how,
Oh let me show you now.

Like a bird on a far distant mountain,
Like a ship on an uncharted sea,
You are lost in the arms that have found you,
Don't be afraid,
Love's plans are made,
Oh don't be afraid.

If there's a time and a place to begin love,
It must be now, let it go, set it free.

Oh I dreamed last night I was hearing
Hearing your voice,
Why did you say those things that have left me
Left me no choice?
When you told me we had the power,
Why did you tell me now was the hour?
But you don't know how,
Oh, let me show you now.

Like a bird on a far distant mountain,
Like a ship on an uncharted sea,
You are lost in the arms that have found you,
Don't be afraid,
Love's plans are made,
Oh don't be afraid.

If there's a time and a place to begin love,
It must be now, let it go, set it free.

Oh I dreamed last night I was hearing
Hearing your voice.

Stealing memes with wild abandon...

Thanks to Confessions for these...

I am: 41% Republican.

"Congratulations, you're a swing voter. When they say 'Soccer Mom', they mean you. Every Democratic ad on the TV set was made just for your viewing enjoyment. Don't you feel special?"

Are You A Republican?

And if we weren't all certain that I straddle the middle line without shame, here's proof. Mind you, I will note that there were several questions I wanted a third option for...

Your Political Profile

Overall: 55% Conservative, 45% Liberal

Social Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

How Liberal / Conservative Are You?

Mourning Carnivale

Well, crap.

Carnivale has been cancelled.

I'll post more later, but for now I'll just mourn the story whose ending I will never know...

Something serious, something silly

When I read something and it moves me so far that I am sitting crying at the keyboard, I think probably I should share it.

This man's blog may be one of the most honest and moving things I've ever read.

Now, those of you who know me know that there's no way I could be called Christian in any orthodox sense of the word (and probably not in most unorthodox senses either). I do feel like I'm living my life well if I can honor Christ's "summary of the law:" "Love God with your whole heart and soul and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself." But I've utterly rejected the "Christian sub-culture" that RLP describes in the post linked above. And I can't imagine myself leaving the UUs. (Unless of course I started my own church, as I am wont to do. But it'd only be because the UUs are so very Apollonian and sometimes I need more ritual, and sometimes more down-and-dirty emotion, than what you find in most UU churches.)

But I do still wonder... obviously what moves this guy is the need to share compassion, healing, and hope. All pretty darned admirable qualities. All things that I consider my core values (even when I am less-than-perfect at embodying them most of the time). Yet to me, those are the core values of any religion. What is different about each religion is the "trappings," the practices and rituals and dogma and theology (or lack thereof) surrounding those core values. And it seems that he's rejected the "trappings" of Christianity. So why does he still feel the need to work within Christianity? Why is it not possible to share compassion, healing, and hope without worrying about what religious label is on it? For that matter, why put any religious label on it? Why is that not just part of being a good human? (I guess the reason I'm a UU is that I automatically ask questions like this. Have all my life. Hopeless, that's me. :) Yet I feel the existence of Something Else too, which is why I'm not strictly a humanist. I accept that I am a paradox sometimes.)

That said, I honor this guy's honesty in telling his story. Having gone through my own "dark night of the soul" a few years ago (which I ought to write about sometime, about feeling like we were all just "meat robots" driven to produce more "meat robots" and that everything else about self-actualization was meaningless... not a fun experience, but necessary to go through) I know how hard it can be. I honor that he shared his own experience; that's even more difficult than the experience itself, sometimes.

(And incidentally, I got a personal "answer to prayer" out of his discussion of that, about "love is not something you feel, but something you do." I would add that the correlary is that saying the word "love" isn't as important as *doing* the word "love." I needed to hear that right now; it answered a personal concern. Don't you love it when the universe gives you things like that?)

And if more Christians were like this guy, I think there would be a lot more Christians. I'm not saying I'd be one of them, mind you. But I think --regardless of the label-- that the Entheos I honor and the God this guy worships despite his doubts, if they're not one and the same, they surely are drinking buddies.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Oh, the silly? Spamalot got 14 Tony nominations! Yay Monte Python! Yay Tim Curry!

This is either really crazy, or really clever...

The jury's still out for me. :)

Children With Nature-Deficit Disorder

Interestingly, my "gentleman friend"* and I were discussing this recently and he made almost this exact point, including the assertion that there is a heck of a lot that the Scouts could do for modern children. And the comments in the blog where I found the article indicate that it matches what parents are seeing. Certainly one of the worst punishments I can give my kids is to take away "screen time" -- more of a threat to the boy, but a significant threat to either of them.

That said, when they can find other kids in the neighborhood (which often is a challenge), my two do like to go outside and play. And this article also makes me feel less guilty about letting them - I mean, I do kinda live in "da hood" and there are times when Da Boy takes off for several hours with friends without my being completely certain of every place he is and every thing he's doing. I do always know which of two or three houses he's going to be playing in or around (all pretty much right next to one another), and if I needed him I could always wander that way and bellow - I've done it before when he's missed a check-in time.

I guess my only question would be, is fear of abduction a "bogeyman syndrome" as the author asserts? My daughter is 9 and noticeably attractive (and I'd accuse myself of being an over-doting parent if all her life, total strangers hadn't walked up to me in public places and said, "Your daughter is so beautiful!" And that she looked like the Pepsi Girl, which she got thorougly sick of being called. :) In fact, a friend who is a photographer has a picture of her in his portfolio and says he gets more compliments on this photo than on all his others combined. Okay, now I'm bragging; someone tell me to shut up. :) ). Is a concern with her safety being overprotective? I have come to the recent conclusion that I am a seriously overprotective parent, an uncomfortable but unmistakeable conclusion after reading a couple of really useful books. And I don't know where the line is between being reasonably concerned for their safety, and being over-protective.

But I do know they're going to camp this summer, and they're certainly outside ALL the time with Little League (with both of them playing, I feel like I have no life anymore that's not at the ballpark, for pete's sakes!), so they ARE getting some nature time. I guess I can feel less guilty than I did before.

(Note, of course, that I'm discussing the lack of nature time and preponderance of computer/video game time WHERE?... :) Remember, God is an iron...)

(Ooh, the "God Is An Iron" short story is on line! For anyone who has not read this, or for that matter hasn't read Spider Robinson, I strongly encourage it.)

----------

* As an aside, what is the accepted term for someone that you're dating when you're my age? "Boyfriend" sounds juvenile; "guy I'm dating" is kinda clunky; "friend" accords him no more importance than any other male friend, which doesn't seem quite right as I've got rather a lot of male friends; "significant other" is stodgy; "partner" implies a relationship level beyond "dating"...

Apparently, from what I've found in a quick Google search, I'm not the only one who wonders this. And after reading this, I think I may need to re-think my "friend" comment above. I mean, what happens in private is, by definition, private, and doesn't need to be advertised in the term you use for someone, right? Let's face it, using a term other than "friend" is arguably an attempt to either show off that you are dating --something I'll admit to being guilty of as darnit, I think the guy's amazing :) --or a way to show "ownership," to "mark your territory," which is something I believe is a serious flaw in the way our society views relationships.

Still, using "friend" for both someone I'm dating and someone I'm not might make people think I have the same type of relationship with both of them, which is obviously not accurate.

I'll have to think about this and come back to it later...

Thanks to Confessions for fixing the link to this. :)

You Are 35% Left Brained, 65% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

Yeehaw, Jihad!

This is darned funny.

(BTW, my Unitarian Jihad name is "Sister Katana of Warm Humanitarianism". :) )

On a more serious note, here's a link to a conversation I'm having on the Coffee Hour UU Blog site about what UU-ism is, and about personal truth and challenge. It's so hard to find accurate words for these concepts...

Ok, this is bizarre...

One wonders if Ananova forgot to file that in the "Quirkies" section...

Beltane Babblings

Despite the fact that we had snow (!!!) this weekend, we are approaching the holiday that for the Celts marked the beginning of summer, as their seasons centered on the solstices and equinoxes, instead of beginning with them. For those unfamiliar with Neo-Pagan holidays, May 1 is called Beltane. Traditionally, it is the celebration of the union of Goddess and God. This symbolism obviously comes from the natural and agricultural cycle, as this is the time of year when animals find their mates and the earth becomes a glorious montage of spring colors. Earth-based worship groups often celebrate this with a little healthy hedonism. (For that matter, non-Earth-based, non-worship groups do too, as anyone knows who has lived in Indianapolis and watched the crazy celebrations surrounding the Indy 500. It's the closest Indy gets to Carnival or Mardi Gras. :) )

A few years ago, under my Pagan pen name, I wrote an essay about the symbolism and deeper meaning of the holiday, that I thought I would share here in honor of the holiday, and in hopes that the weather will reflect the time of year more accurately, and soon! :)

-=-=-=-=-
The meaning and mysteries of Beltane
aka Beltane Babblings :)

The mysteries of Beltane are cloaked in sexual imagery because that's the closest human analogy to the relationship between the Divine and humanity. Even Christianity resorts to this in calling Christ the Bridegroom of the Church. And because Wicca is a mystery religion, a spirituality filled with things that can only be perceived, experienced, 'grokked', rather than truly explained, Wiccan symbology is sometimes mistaken for the mystery itself. So, at the risk of trying to put the wordless into words, here are my random thoughts on the mysteries of Beltane.

Beltane is about desire. But then again, all magic is about desire, and all religion is about desire, and even the Wiccan Rede, "An it harm none, do as thou wilt," is about desire. Knowing your true will is harder than it sounds. It's a congruence of deep heart-longing and intellectual choice. It involves acknowledging the need for wisdom, AND knowing yourself, AND being honest enough with yourself to allow yourself to want, to accept your heart's deep longing. Not to merely settle for what you 'ought to' do, or what you're 'supposed to' do, but to know what, deep down inyour soul, delights you. Richard Boles, in discussing a sense of mission in an essay in the book, What Color Is Your Parachute?, talks about a vision of our sense of mission in life as a moment in time where "as quickly as God said 'I want', my heart cried 'Oh, *yes*'." Beltane is about finding where your heart cries "oh, yes", and moving to find that.

Beltane is also about being naked. Not necessarily nakedness of the body, but nakedness of the soul, of removing the veils we put up between the world and our true self: even of removing the veils we put up to hide our true desires from ourselves. It is of allowing ourselves to be seen, by the gods, by each other, by ourselves. Because there is no way to *know* the heart's desires if you don't look at yourself honestly, nakedly, and see all of what is there, the wrinkles of soul as well as body, the parts that could use toning. And there's no way to know the heart's desires if you are unable or unwilling to celebrate the *beauties* you see there as well, beauty of body, beauty of soul. Beltane is an invitation to see ourselves and each other through the mirrors of the Gods, through the mirrors of love, rather than through the filters our society tries to brainwash us into believing - that there are 'ought to's' and 'should's' and standards you have to meet before you are beautiful. Beltane is an acknowledgment that sheerly by existing you have inherent beauty, the beauty of the Maiden and the Lover in their passion for each other. Because since we know that the Gods are within us as well as without, Their passion for each other, Their beauty, must be ours as well.

Beltane is a time to accept our naked selves, accept each other, and celebrate our beauty in mind, spirit, heart, and body all, because like the four elements, all are needed. We don't ignore our bodies. We don't supress our desires. We accept and rejoice in ourselves as interconnected parts of the whole, balanced, not hoping for a far-off solely spiritual reward but recognizing that we can make the here-and-now its own kind of reward by taking joy in every moment, and in all parts of ourselves.

Finally, Beltane is about finding that kind of heart-delight in the Gods as well as in our own desires. It is about finding that joy in the Mother, our Earth, in the awakening of nature, the greening of trees, the feel of the Spring breezes, the young Sun just testing his strength, the return of the birds, of flowers spilling raucously across fields that a month ago were brown and barren. It is about remembering the mystery of rebirth, the promise that nothing ends that is not again reborn - and what better way to celebrate thepromise than by having a party out somewhere where we are surrounded on all sides by proof of this rebirth? If a Beltane celebration is an orgy of any kind, it's an orgy of the senses, of seeing the world around us with full awareness, not simply passing through in a daze of schedules and worries. It is of being awake in nature, using smell and taste and feel and sound and sight to renew our awareness of the connection between ourselves and all others. It is of recognizing Divinity in ourselves, and each other - of truly looking at one another and saying, "Thou art God/dess", not in the sense of being perfected or somehow exalted, but in the simple recognition that by simply existing we partake in creating our own world, our own lives, through our beliefs and actions and hopes and dreams, and that that act of creation is a sharing in the Divine powers of creation. The Goddess recreates the world daily - through us. So Beltane is a celebration of our power to create, in any and all fashions, and through that ability to create, a sharing in our own God and Goddesshood.

I hope this makes it clearer that Beltane is not 'merely' a celebration of 'an orgy in the woods'; and if your choice for Beltane -is- an orgy in the woods, that is part and parcel of a much deeper mystery. As humans, perhaps our strongest creative drive, the drive that most echoes our own divinity, is the drive to reproduce. And as humans who interact with other humans, perhaps the time we are the most ourselves, the most in touch with our true desires, and the most accepting of both another person and who we ourselves are, is in the arms of a lover. But those are not the only ways we can show creativity, be vulnerable, be honest, and connect with each other and the Ground of Being: those are simply some of the most obvious ways. Part of what the Wiccan mysteries involve is sanctifying everyday activities such as lovemaking, finding the holy in everything. And part of the Wiccan mysteries is finding those mysteries in actions less obvious. And neither is more or less a mystery than the other, and neither is more or less holy than the other.

Where you find mystery, where you find magick, where you find delight is as individual as anything else in Wicca. An it harm none, do as thou wilt. May we all enjoy the mysteries of Beltane, and find the courage to honor the longings of our hearts.

Brightest Beltane blessings,
Cecylyna
Beltane, 1997 CE
updated and edited April 2005

Interesting reversal

You've known people who seem to want God/Goddess/a Deity/the Divine to exist so they have someone on which to blame bad things, right?

I find I want the Divine to exist so I have someone (Someone?) to be grateful to when things go well. Really, I mean that. When my heart is filled with gratitude, I want to be able to say "Thank You!" to something more than the unanthropomorphic Universe. Although the Universe will do if there's no one else out there to thank.

This realization is partially fueled by how well my personal life is going at the moment, but also because we had our recognition dinner for the last SAP release last night. I helped emcee part of the evening, designed the award plaques, designed the appreciation certificates, created the closing presentation/entertainment, and had the great surprise and pleasure of two different people saying that their "favorite funny memory" of the project was something I had said or done. (For the record, one was the names of the re-labeling logbooks - the Interim Labeling Log, or "ILL", the Handling Unit Re-Labeling Log, or "HURL", and the Business Objects Log, or "BO Log". :) The other was a submission I made to buzzwhack.com - from that link, look for the definition for "proceduralize".) I had many compliments on my award design (I'll see if I can figure out a way to post it here later) and my singing (I'll also try to post what I recorded for the closing presentation) from not just co-workers but upper management, which was gratifying.

It is an amazingly satisfying feeling to have worked on a project which, for all that there are some residual issues, was the most successful of 10 system releases, and to have things I can point to and say "That particular success was directly due to my efforts." That's not something I have been able to experience in my career before, and really makes the 50, 60, and even 70 hour work weeks worthwhile. (Though I do hope I don't have to repeat those too terribly often on this new release. Between family and personal life, I really can't afford THAT much time out of my life now!)

It was also great to see everyone again, as some of the folks there I hadn't seen since we rolled off the project in late January. Amazing how the basic psychology of "put them through h___ together and they'll bond" really does work. :)

And I don't want any of this to sound like bragging, because I do not intend it that way at all. Before this year, my career has been more often filled with written warnings for lateness than successes (and part of the reason I can be successful on this project is that people give me a lot of slack for not being a morning person, in exchange for the amount of creativity and extra evening hours I'm willing to put in). And situations like when I was assistant site manager for a consulting company, and when the manager left, the company hired an outsider that knew nothing technical about IT instead of promoting me, in part because they knew I would train the new manager well. (That was also the time when I found out that members of my team were asked privately by HR, "What are you looking for in a new manager?" and they answered "Suzanne." Blew me away - I didn't think I'd been all that involved in their jobs. But perhaps the fact that I left them alone to do their jobs was what they liked!) So I've had my share of unpleasant work moments.

But right now, I am using this blog to fulfill my urge to offer the universe a moment of thanks, for all the synchronicities that led me to this job. And for being given the great gift of feeling valued , which is perhaps a greater motivator for me than I ever realized.

Mea culpa

Without going into a lot of unnecessary detail, I've found out some things over the past week that tell me that I badly misjudged a situation with someone I cared about a great deal last year. Despite the fact that I knew him better than that, I was willing to believe that he was "playing" a couple people, instead of just honestly having a conflict between what he knew he needed in a relationship and where his heart was drawn.

Now I have to deal with the fact that my judgement probably added pain to what was already a lose-lose situation. Unfortunately, it's a situation where he felt the "relationship" was off-limits to begin with and therefore couldn't be acknowledged, so I can't really apologize for misjudging him because to do so would be tantamount to asking him to acknowledge what was there, which I know he does not want to do. I am not even sure I can try to re-build the closeness in the friendship without opening the door back up to the same dissonance that was there before, that would still hurt, and now also have the danger of hurting my new relationship (which is going really well, so I sure don't want to risk that!). So for the moment I guess I just get to feel badly that I did this, and watch myself to make sure I don't do the same to anyone else.

Darn it, I should know not to attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity, to quote my ex. :) Or in this case, not stupidity but insecurity, and the fact that some incompatibilities are insurmountable no matter how you feel about someone.

I'm sorry this is so vague and confusing, but I can't really explain it further without a) going into a much longer story than anyone needs, and b) making public some private issues. But since I can't apologize to him, a public confession is the only thing I can think of to try to make me feel at least a little better. Maybe someday I can point him to this. Not yet, though.

I found a Unitarian Universalist blog site...

I'll add it to the links at the side when I get a round tuit. Right now, it's First Major Milestone time on the new project, so I'm "busy, busy, BUSY" to quote the magician in Frosty the Snowman... :)

I have no other commentary to make...

When a cartoon sums it up this well, why add unnecessary words?

They don't identify the student by name in this article...

They don't identify the student by name in the article,

...but why do I guess his middle initial is "The"?

You know, like "Jimmy THE Squirrel, Mickey THE Wrench"... :)

Only in Indiana...

I mentioned earlier that the idiots seemed to congregate in Indiana. Well, now there's proof.

Can't we, just once, get in the news for something positive? :)

Now this is an Altzheimers' prevention method I can get into!

Gotta love the Australians. They tell it like it is. :)

Today's lyrics...

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I’m a princess
I’m not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

You’ve already won me over in spite of me
Don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn’t help it
It’s all your fault

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You’re so much braver than I gave you credit for
That’s not lip service

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You’re the best listener that I’ve ever met
You’re my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I’ve never felt this healthy before
I’ve never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

Ok, someone 'splain to me how they drew this conclusion...

Don't get me wrong; I'm not a fan of using the TV as a babysitter. But when I read this article, the conclusion I draw from the results is not "watching TV turns a child into a bully," it's "getting attention from parents instead of being dumped in front of the TV prevents a child from becoming a bully." Is that not a more logical conclusion, or is my mind just weird?

(wait, don't answer that last one... :) )

Back from vacation!

After wading through my 220+ e-mails and 10 voice mails I don't wonder why it's so hard for people to take vacation. :) But it was fun: we got unseasonably warm weather for northern Michigan, yay! I'll try to post pics later, but right now I'll just say that while the Sleeping Bear Dune Climb doesn't look very tall from the ground, it's darned deceptive! What a workout! :)

The problem with posting this quiz result...

...is that it looks like bragging.

English Genius You scored 100% Beginner, 93% Intermediate, 93% Advanced, and 77% Expert!

You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go! Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it! For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.

Link: The Commonly Confused Words Test written by shortredhead78 on Ok Cupid

Back and forth on the introvert-extrovert scale I go...

For the Jungian definition of introvert/extrovert, I clarify, I've always walked the edge between E and I. (Jungian definition basically translates to, "are you energized by time with groups of people, or time alone?) Today, apparently, I'm an I, according to this test.

Your Type is INFP:
Introverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving
Strength of the preferences %
33 75 62 50

INFP description 1:
INFP description 2: (very interesting!)
INFP description 3 - this one so accurately describes me it's SCARY.

As a comparison for when I shift the other way, here's ENFP.

(Though looking at that, I do look much more INFP, at least right now. :) )

Meme, meme, meme, meme...

All I have to say is... humble? unselfish? Balanced? Hrm. :)

Your Love Number is

2 Of all the numbers, you are the most caring and empathetic lover. Unselfish and humble, you find it easy to forgive your sweetie's mistakes. At times, your need to please can become a bit too needy. As long as you remain somewhat independent, your relationships are perfectly balanced.

What Is Your Love Number?

Far be it from me to make fun of a love poem...

I mean, despite the fact that I tend towards the pragmatic, I don't think the fact that I'm a closet romantic is a big shocker to anyone.

That said, this poem has GOT to be mistranslated. If it's not, it's the funniest thing I've ever read.

"I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,the sovereign nose of your arrogant face..."

Um. Just... um. :) :) :)

Ooooh, more good news about dark chocolate!

Dark chocolate has antioxidants, and now someone's found it also helps reduce blood pressure and enhances the ability to metabolize sugar. Think it will soon be marketed as a health food? :)

(Having just been introduced to it this week, make mine bete noire, thanks! :) )

Today's lyrics...

I don't think commentary is necessary. :)

"The Longest Time" - Billy Joel

If you said goodbye to me tonight
There would still be music left to write
What else could I do, I'm so inspired by you
That hasn't happened for the longest time

Once I thought my innocence was gone
Now I know that happiness goes on
That's where you found me, when you put your arms around me
I haven't been there for the longest time

I'm that voice you're hearing in the hall
And the greatest miracle of all
Is how I need you, and how you needed me too
That hasn't happened for the longest time

Maybe this won't last very long
But you feel so right
And I could be wrong
Maybe I've been hoping too hard
But I've gone this far
And it's more than I'd hoped for

Who knows how much further we'll go on
Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone
I'll take my chances, I forgot how nice romance is
I haven't been there for the longest time

I had second thoughts at the start
I said to myself, hold on to your heart
Now I know the man that you are
You're wonderful so far
And it's more than I'd hoped for

I don't care what consequence it brings
I have been a fool for lesser things
I want you so bad, I think you ought to know that
I intend to hold you for the longest time

Barnum's rule applies...

'Satan' Said to Appear on Turtle's Shell

1. How come the weirdos are always in Indiana?
2. "Dora has produced a DVD of the turtle's story that he plans to auction on the Internet. He will also offer the winning bidder the chance to buy Lucky off-line." As if that isn't the entire point of the story, one imagines!

What, me, cynical? ...

Well, only on issues like this. :)

P. S. I am so still singing the song from the previous post. :)

Lyrics...

Great Big Sea is way up at the top of the list of my favorite bands, and I'm singing this song today. S'all I'm saying. :)

Shines Right Through Me

These days I feel a change, all the patterns rearranged
Though I can't explain, I know I’m not afraid
Now I realize all good things can be supplied
And they come from you

Chorus:
It's all brand new, and it shines right through
Shines Right Through Me
I look at you, and it shines right through
Shines Right Through Me

This feeling that I've found, like sleeping on a cloud
Smiling at the sky, not even knowing why
Strange how things work out, I know without a doubt
That it comes from you

Chorus
Break me out of emptiness, lead me to your light
Anything worth having is worth some sacrifice
Laid too long in loneliness, this world was made to change
Half an hour of sunshine is worth a week of rain

Air is flowing free, it's a little easier to breathe
This soul unbound, was lost and found
No reason left to hide, I feel a light inside and it comes from you

Chorus

Way behind on updating my blog...

I turned into Busy Woman At Work again last week. Being given the job of scheduling the sessions where we model the new SAP processes and system transactions doesn't sound like it would be that much of a headache, does it? Yet it ended up working me overtime again. Plus, I had a head cold - not at all bad, just enough to slow me down. All of which added up to no free time. (And I even had the opportunity for a social life, which I couldn't take at the time! Making up for that this week - but better not say anything else about that in a public forum, at least not yet. Wouldn't want to jinx it. :))

But enough whining about me - let me whine about politics instead:

• Just Remember, Global Warming Doesn't Exist - If a picture says a thousand words, have an essay...
• But Don't You Trust Big Brother? - I don't know which I'm more disturbed by: the disregard for privacy, the fact that kids under 14 are having sex, or the fact that it is assumed that kids under 14 having sex are victims of rape or molestation. I knew kids that age who were doing the consentual thing, and that was way back in my day when the dinosaurs roamed...
• It's Not Enough That They Banned Same-Sex Marriage By Law In Indiana... - they have to waste legislative time making it a constitutional amendment, too. (Now, the US Constitution says that "No State shall... pass any... Law impairing the Obligation of Contracts" (Section 10, Clause 1) but apparently that doesn't count when the holy sacred contract of marriage is involved. Is it any wonder I have used my legal marital state as a financial convenience? It sure doesn't have any meaning...)

Enough cynicism. This next link isn't a whine at all. I was reminded of this site in a conversation with someone Sunday and realized I'd never linked it to my blog. I think there are some fascinating ideas on this site, and wish more people looked for middle ground.

Meanwhile, this falls into the What Will They Think Of Next category! Actually, it's a pretty neat idea, but what kind of creativity does it take to come up with an inflatable concrete shelter?

And you know, the fact that the words added to Webster's Dictionary this year included wedgie, Al Qaeda, blog, cargo pants, irritable bowel syndrome and partial-birth abortion says something about our current society. I don't know what it says, mind you, but it says something! :)

More later!

Lyrics

These just moved me. The song is performed too fast, though, for how it makes me feel. Perhaps I'll redo it on the midi...

"Take Me For Longing"
Alison Krauss

Don't choose me because I am faithful.
Don't choose me because I am kind.
If your heart settles on me, I'm for the taking.
Take me for longing or leave me behind.

I would be, for you, a fire in a rainbow,
I would be, for you, an opening door.
Time and hard lessons are one kind of wisdom.
Try to forget them or love me no more.

I'm not asking your heart to believe me.
I'm not asking for promise or pledge.
Whatever the answer, it's yes that's the question.
I am the fool dancin' over the edge.

Don't choose me because I am faithful.
Don't choose me because I am kind.
If your heart settles on me, I'm for the taking.
Take me for longing or leave me behind.

No surprise here...

You Are From Neptune

You are dreamy and mystical, with a natural psychic ability. You love music, poetry, dance, and (most of all) the open sea. Your soul is filled with possibilities, and your heart overflows with compassion. You can be in a room full of friendly people and feel all alone. If you don't get carried away with one idea, your spiritual nature will see you through anything.

What Planet Are You From?

Meme Swipage

Swiped from Confessions...

You Are A Romantic Realist

You are more romantic than 40% of the population. You tend to be grounded when it comes to romance. Sure, you can fall hard... but only for someone you've gotten to know. And once you're in love, you can be a total romantic goofball... But you'd never admit it to your friends!

Are You Romantic or Realistic?

Hey, Real-Life Politicians? Watch West Wing, Darnit.

Can I just note that I am utterly, vehemently convinced that if any politician would actually make a commercial like this -- and mean it, not just be copying West Wing -- s/he would win by a landslide?

Politicians: Take Notes. Take Lots Of 'Em. Please.

Degrees of Coolness...

1. Cool: when tonight's episode of one's favorite show was filled with revelations and answers to questions (that of course generated yet more questions - this is Carnivale, after all...)
2. Cooler: when one logs on to the chat room for said show and the show's creator stops in to chat too!
3. Coolest: when said creator chooses to expound on the philosophy and mythology behind the show, and leaves you with a big ol' hint that still gives away nothing...

Wow. Just wow!

Also amusing, but totally unrelated:

1. When something goes boom (in this case, the basket that gets used to hold incoming mail decided to leap from the wall) even two rooms away, the guinea pigs freak out.
2. When the guinea pigs freak out, they want to hide.
3. When one of them has tipped over one of their hidey-houses in their cage, they both end up in the same one, even when it barely has room for one of them, much less both.

After giggling at four little eyes staring out at me, I un-tipped the Pigloo and one dashed for it almost immediately. Somehow this amused me. But maybe it's because I stayed up too late in the chat room. Good thing I'm off tomorrow (since the kids are off for president's day...)

Life on Mars?

As much as I want to believe it, there's not all that much evidence presented here, but still. :)

Furniture Riots?

Now, I'm all for capitalism, and have nothing against an honest profit. But I've gotta think that this attitude is perhaps one of the least attractive exports our country provides - and it's apparently happened before.

So of course my friend Ted and I had to comment more creatively. (To be fair, starting it was his idea. I just came up with some of the wording. :))

With apologies to Emma:

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to shop cheap,
The violent refuse queued outside the store.
Tell these, the chairless, tempest-tossed, to flee:
For low-cost lamps they'll beat you at the door!

You know you sleep too deeply when...

My first thought was, "some drunk guy got in bed with her and she didn't notice until she woke up in the morning? How drunk was she? :)

And lest you think I'm always this serious...

I'll share the song I sang to the kids this morning while getting ready for school/work.

(Context: I'd commented that I had to do a last-minute load of laundry so I would have pants to wear today. "You know, pants? Useful things. I like pants." And apparently fibromyalgia pain sometimes makes me weird, because the next thing out of my mouth was...)

(to the tune of Tom T. Hall's "I Like Beer")

I like pants!
They cover my butt so I'm legal!
I like pants,
Without them I fear you'd point and giggle
(you'd point and giggle...)

Now skirts are too cold,
and shorts are right out,
and tights are just for when you dance,
What I'm trying to say,
in my unusual way (!)
--As a matter of fact, I like pants!

(Yes, I know "legal" and "giggle" don't QUITE rhyme. What else was I going to use to rhyme with it? Eagle? Beagle? Go ahead, figure out a way to make those work in context with "pants".)

(And still be safe to sing to children. Perverts. :) )

Garden of Joy

I took a two-month sabbatical from my worship associate position at church* when I realized that our SAP implementation was leaving me no time for family, much less extra-curricular activities. So I went to my first monthly meeting since October last night. It felt good; I think I needed the brief time off for me as well as for the project, as I've been a bit more spiritually uncertain lately anyway.

Also, I'm doing the March 20 service - the theme is "Masks." I have a whole bunch of ideas. It feels good to feel enthusiastic about this again.

(* Church = The Unitarian Universalist Church of Indianapolis; Worship Associate = layperson who helps create and lead services. When the minister is there, we sit up front with him and do some of the readings, lead some of the prayers, read the children's story and the weekly announcements, whatever it helps the minister for us to do. When he takes time off, we actually create and lead entire services. There's a team of about eight of us that serve on the committee.)

In honor of feeling revitalized on the spiritual front, I am posting the first sermon I wrote for UUI, as my "audition" for the worship associate position. Bear in mind that this was written to sound natural when spoken, so you will find colloquialisms and imperfect grammar - that's on purpose. :)

---

The Garden Of Joy

Suzanne Egbert, August 2003

I was reading a book the other day. This is not unusual, as one of my favorite simple joys is curling up on the couch with a blanket and a good book. But I do have to admit, I was reading a children’s book, and neither of my children were involved at the time. I guess that it’s okay to admit to still liking some children’s books now that Harry Potter has cast his enchantment over the book-loving world. I mean, I knew as many adults as children who were waiting at midnight for the fourth Harry Potter book’s release this summer. Okay, I was one of them. :) And I even got to read it before my son did. I mean, Mom has to read it first to make sure it’s appropriate for the kids, right? Shh... don’t tell him I use that as an excuse. :) And I have to admit that I enjoyed the book as much as he did. But this wasn’t some new and trendy book like Harry Potter. This was one of those that my son considers too “old-fashioned” and “girly” - things like Little Women or Anne of Green Gables. But I find a certain joy in revisiting books like that -- they’re old friends, they’re comfortable, but you can still learn new things from them.

Anyway, I mention all this because the classic I was contentedly curled up re-reading the other day was “The Secret Garden” by Frances Hodgson Burnett. And I was struck by one particular passage in it. Now, if by some chance you haven’t read this, I don’t think it’s giving any plot away to tell you that there’s a garden involved. :) And to set the scene for you, Colin is a little boy who has been a spoiled, demanding, hysterical invalid all his life because that’s what he was always told that he was supposed to be. Through making friends with Mary, a little orphan girl who is also spoiled and demanding (at least at first), and exploring this secret garden with her, Colin has discovered that he’s not sick after all, and that he can run and play like other boys. And he decides that it is Magic in the garden that has made him better. After all, he says, “When Mary found this garden it looked quite dead... Then something began pushing things up out of the soil and making things out of nothing. One day things weren’t there and another they were... I keep saying to myself, “What is it? What is I? It’s something. It can’t be nothing! I don’t know it’s name so I call it Magic.... Magic is always pushing and drawing and making things out of nothing. Everything is made out of Magic, leaves and trees, flowers and birds, badgers and foxes and squirrels and people. So it must be all around us. In this garden -- in all the places. The Magic in this garden has made me stand up and know I am going to live to be a man.” (pp 239-240)

And when Colin finally realizes this, he is so overwhelmed with gratitude that he wants to sing something thankful and joyful, but doesn’t know what to sing. So even though he’s not a churchgoer, he sings the Doxology. And as he is singing, a neighbor woman finds he and Mary in the secret garden. The passage I want to share is a conversation that he and Susan Sowerby, the neighbor, have after he has explained things to her. And I’ll have to apologize, because she speaks in a broad Yorkshire accent, and I speak in -- well, in a south-central Indiana accent, so I’m not sure how this will come out. :)

“ "Do you believe in Magic?" asked Colin… "I do hope you do."

"That I do, lad," she answered. "I never knowed it by that name but what does th' name matter? I warrant they call it a different name i' France an' a different one i' Germany. Th' same thing as set th' seeds swellin' an' th' sun shinin' made thee a well lad an' it's th' Good Thing. It isn't like us poor fools as think it matters if us is called out of our names. Th' Big Good Thing doesn't stop to worrit, bless thee. It goes on makin' worlds by th' million -- worlds like us. Never thee stop believin' in th' Big Good Thing an' knowin' th' world's full of it -- an' call it what tha' likes. Tha' wert singin' to it when I come into th' garden."

"I felt so joyful," said Colin, opening his beautiful strange eyes at her. "Suddenly I felt how different I was -- how strong my arms and legs were, you know -- and how I could dig and stand -- and I jumped up and wanted to shout out something to anything that would listen."

"Th' Magic listened when tha' sung th' Doxology. It would ha' listened to anything tha'd sung. It was th' joy that mattered. Eh! lad, lad -- what's names to th' Joy Maker," and she gave his shoulders a quick soft pat again.”

To me this struck me as the essence of the Third Principle of Unitarian Universalism: Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations. I mean, talk about acceptance -- look how Susan Sowerby responds to Colin’s enthusiasm. “Do you believe in Magic?” As one who has practiced earth-based religion and has been known to believe in Magic --at least on alternate Thursdays-- I can tell you that you get some pretty strange looks if you ask that question. And you get them from all across the board: religious conservatives think you’re the Devil, while religious liberals just think you’re weird. :) But for the most part, I find that Unitarian Universalists respond in much the same way that Susan did. "I never knowed it by that name but what does th' name matter?” That open-minded and open-hearted response to our individual approaches to spirituality is a gift, and I think that sometimes we don't appreciate just what a gift we have in that Principle. The fact that we can come together to honor that which is good, without getting hung up on what name we choose to call it, whether that name is Magic, or God, or Goddess, or the essence of life, or humanity’s highest potential, or the great unknown, or the spirit of community and fellowship - it’s the Big Good Thing, and it’s what we gather together, here in this church, every Sunday morning, to share. And the fact that we can allow each other the rare and wonderful privilege to call that Big Good Thing whatever we want to - and still accept one another without judgment, no matter what we call it - well, if anything is Magic I think that must be it.

But this Principle has two parts. And at first glance they might almost seem to be mutually exclusive. We accept one another, in all our glorious diversity and plurality - and then we’re supposed to encourage each other to spiritual growth? When sometimes we’re not even sure if we believe in something to be spiritual about? But Susan handles that like a UU too. “Never stop believing in the Big Good Thing, and knowing the world’s full of it - and call it what you like.” You don’t have to sing a hymn: or, in other words, you don’t have to do something that’s traditionally considered a “spiritual activity.” Like there’s some sort of Big Approved Activities List in the sky for spiritual practice. No, she says, “It would have listened to anything you’d sung - it was the joy that mattered. What’s names to the Joy Maker?” This reminds me very much of a teaching in earth-based religion, and in fact it’s in the hymnal in reading 517, “Let My worship be in the heart that rejoices, for behold -- all acts of love and pleasure are My rituals.” So it seems that my sitting and reading this silly children’s book was a spiritual act, because it brought me joy.

And perhaps that is the best way for us to effect “encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations” while still affirming and accepting the diversity of viewpoints among us - by helping each of us more often do that which brings us joy. And that can be something as dramatic and life-shaking as singing our thanks for healing after a long and debilitating illness - or something as simple as watching the beauty of the autumn leaves as they transform into a palette of bold and wonderful colors against the Autumn sky.

So I guess if I am covenanted to encourage you to spiritual growth, I will ask you - when was the last time you felt joy? Have you felt joy lately? Or has your life been too filled with bustle and bother - or, worse yet, apathy, despair, and lifeless duty? Colin decides that he can make the Magic do things for him. He says, “I don’t know how to do it but think that if you keep thinking about it and calling it, perhaps it will come.... Every morning and evening and as often in the daytime as I can remember I am going to say, ‘Magic is in me! Magic is making me well!’” And while you don’t have to call it magic, that IS as good a description of the power of affirmation as any I’ve heard. And that is one way we can help reawaken ourselves when joy is lacking in our lives. To just sit for a moment, and clearly picture in your mind’s eye a time when you felt joy, and clearly sense how alive and awake, or how comfortable and contented, you felt then. And every time you feel overwhelmed with stress, or too apathetic to care, just recall that feeling of joy, and know that if you’ve felt it once, you can feel it again. And keep telling it to yourself, morning and evening and as often in the daytime as you can remember.

Joseph Campbell said, " When you follow your bliss... doors will open where you would not have thought there would be doors; and where there wouldn't be a door for anyone else." To come together in the name of whatever each of us calls the Joy-Maker, to accept those differences, to follow your bliss, and to help others follow it too - this is, to me, what it means to follow the third principle of Unitarian Universalism. Thank you for your acceptance, and may you follow your bliss and find your joy. Amen and blessed be.

Remiss in updating this week...

...but I've been:

(a) buried under round 2 of procedure edits, and
(b) playing way too much with a new addiction. :) With my Christmas money from Mom, I bought the interface cable (FINALLY) to connect my MIDI keyboard to my computer, and editing/sequencing software. This is addictive!

(Of course, I've done more sequencing of my voice than keyboard...)