Hidden causality...

I read an interesting book review from the NYT about the Dali Lama's most recent book, The Universe in a Single Atom: The Convergence of Science and Spirituality. At first I thought the reviewer was going to complain that it wasn't religious enough. Turns out, he was complaining that the Dali Lama started out sounding open-minded (which apparently, to this reviewer, meant "only reporting that which can be verified by tangible experimentation) but then snuck religion in there by saying that evolutionary random mutations might "turn out to be complexity in disguise - 'hidden causality,' the Buddha's smile." He dismisses this with the glib phrase, "There you have it, Eastern religion's version of intelligent design. " Funny - I read a book called Order Out of Chaos by Ilya Prigogine who received a Nobel Prize for discovering that there might indeed be large-scale order in randomness, so I'm not certain how speculating that complexity might arise from chaos is unscientific?

Then again, this reviewer doesn't seem to have anything more than an intellectual handle on the idea that Buddhism doesn't begin from the same rigid paradigm as Western religions. Given that he talks about "how someone so open-minded became the Tibetan Buddhist equivalent of the pope"... Why is it so difficult for westerners to understand that in a philosophy like Buddhism there is no paradigm equivalent to a pope? The pope is the voice of God on earth, able to proclaim infallible, "God-said-it-that-settles-it" decrees of faith. As I understand it, the Dali Lama provides spiritual leadership, not spiritual dictatorship; guiding, not commanding. And as the Buddha is not perceived as God in the way most westerners perceive God, saying that large-scale order could be "the Buddha's smile" does not have the same deterministic connotations as a westerner saying that something "is God's will." I guess the only way I can put it is that it's more metaphorical in Eastern religions; that in a paradigm that doesn't try to rationalize away uncertainty, it is possible to hold seemingly contradictory beliefs simultaneously and be neither inconsistent nor delusional; that I can both believe scientifically that chaos theory says that a system is unpredictable, and at the same time philosophize that the unpredictability itself can be part of a larger pattern or unity, and be neither holding an irrational spiritual view nor rejecting scientific evidence.

The reviewer closes by saying, "All religion is rooted in a belief in the supernatural. Inviting a holy man to address a scientific conference may be leaving the back door ajar for ghosts." Yet is not this strong a rejection of the possibility of the unseen as narrow-minded a view as the church leaders who condemned Copernicus and Galileo for daring to take the Earth out of the center of the universe? To my mind, true scientific inquiry leaves open the possibility of anything unproven, no matter how irrational it might seem. Because after all, how rational does the theory of relativity sound? To do otherwise is to simply replace the deterministic religion of Western Judeo-Christianity with the deterministic religion of Western science.

But then again, I'm a philosopher, so anything I say is suspect anyway, right? :)

P.S. If you want to read more about chaos theory, here's a scientific link from the University of Texas, and a less-scientific link that connects some of the science with the "supernatural". (Interesting that the term "supernatural" is a judgement inherent in the word, isn't it? I think I see the subject of another blog post there...)

Nothin' but memes today...

So I'm lazy. So shoot me. :)

Your Personality Profile

You are dependable, popular, and observant. Deep and thoughtful, you are prone to moodiness. In fact, your emotions tend to influence everything you do. You are unique, creative, and expressive. You don't mind waving your freak flag every once and a while. And lucky for you, most people find your weird ways charming!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

And this means that perhaps the business I'm helping start is a good idea? (I'll say more later, when I actually have the website up and everything...)

Your Career Type: Social

You are helpful, friendly, and trustworthy. Your talents lie in teaching, nursing, giving information, and solving social problems. You would make an excellent: Counselor - Dental Hygienist - Librarian Nurse - Parole Officer - Personal Trainer Physical Therapist - Social Worker - Teacher The worst career options for your are realistic careers, like truck driver or farmer.

What's Your Ideal Career?

Despair and hope...

Just when you think it's hard to stay hopeful when watching the violence in New Orleans, you see things like Sri Lanka offering aid to the Red Cross, and you have hope that there is good in people somewhere after all...

There are also spots like http://www.katrinahousing.org/ , http://www.homeflood.org/, http://www.hurricanehousing.org./, http://www.shareyourhome.org/,and http://neworleans.craigslist.org/about/help/katrina_cl.html where people all over the country are offering space, free of charge, to people and families left homeless by Katrina. It's good to see such generosity. But apparently the big relief organizations aren't allowed for some reason to officially support small efforts like these, so they're asking for help publicizing the websites. Not like thousands of people read my blog, but here's my small contribution...

And if you haven't seen the blogs telling what's really going on there, like the Interdictor or Metroblogging, you should.

Meanwhile, my ex may actually try to coordinate the idea I had for Mardi Gras parties to raise funds for relief. I would if I had more time. If he does, I'll post details here...

Donate, donate, donate...

80% of that beautiful, vibrant, firey, passionate city... under water.

What else is there to say???

The Times-Picayune was only published electronically yesterday - the local stories are heartbreaking.

The only good thing is that the French Quarter is (at least so far) relatively untouched. I say this is good primarily because it's going to allow them, eventually, to rebuild via tourist money, because that's about all they are going to have left to them.

All around the lake is completely flooded. That means that the restaurant where my high school choir learned how to eat crawfish (and that's a story I'll have to tell here, later, when I have more time to write) is probably gone.

I guess this hits me harder, too, because I know I have blood relatives in St. Tammany Parish. I don't know who they are or anything about them, but my maternal grandmother was from there and I know there were still great-aunts and/or uncles in Slidell. Even though I don't know them, I have always wondered if that contributed to how home-like N'Awlins felt to me when I visited there. I even considered going to Tulane. Beautiful campus... at least it was...

You know, some sort of network of Mardi Gras parties to raise money for the relief efforts would be cool... I wonder how one would organize that?

All I can say is...

...someone had WAY too much fun with this headline:

http://www.thenewmexicochannel.com/news/4899208/detail.html

Praying for one of my favorite cities in the whole world...

I've only been in N'Awlins once, and I was too young by about a year to be in the bars, which is where I wanted to be (no, not to be a drunk, silly people - that's where the MUSIC is! Not that I would turn down a mint julep or two, BUT... :). I'd wanted to get down there this summer, but just couldn't come up with the money.

Now, I'm hoping there's a city left after Katrina gets done with it. I'm not comforted by articles that say things like "...computer simulations indicate that by Tuesday, vast swaths of New Orleans could be under water up to 30 feet deep. In the French Quarter, the water could reach 20 feet..." and "Katrina is expected to push a 28-foot storm surge against the levees. Even if they hold, water will pour over their tops and begin filling the city as if it were a sinking canoe. After the storm passes, the water will have nowhere to go. In a few days, van Heerden [director of the LSU hurricane center] predicts, emergency management officials are going to be wondering how to handle a giant stagnant pond contaminated with building debris, coffins, sewage and other hazardous materials..."

At least it's only a cat 4 now, and going just east of the city. But still... I'm definitely trying to send good mojo to the gulf coast now!

More leadership ability than I expected...

Sorry I've been quiet this week, but it's almost IIT - Informal Integration Testing. Last year, we worked 7am - 6pm during testing. So far, they aren't planning that for us this year but I won't hold my breath, either. The good news is, I don't have to run any test scripts. The bad news is, any and all security defects are -mine- and if I'm not around to pass them, they can't get fixed. Therefore, I have to be available any time testing is happening. So it's going to be a busy 6 weeks. We have fun, though - I already have toys to pass around (foam airplanes, things like that). :)

Meanwhile, in a completely different kind of testing, I didn't expect this test result (well, except for "efficiency" and "organization" - I already knew they weren't exactly my strong points. :) :

From the Tickle test, "Are You A Natural Leader?"

Total - 6.5 (on a scale of 1 - 10)
Congratulations, you're a real leader! Your leadership skills are quite strong, so don't be afraid to step up to the plate when problems need solving — you'll do great. You've got a solid combination of positive leadership traits — from organizational skills to communication ability. These talents make you a great resource in the workplace, someone people can look to for guidance and direction. Still, there are a few things you might need to work on. To brush up on the different components of leadership, check out your scores below:

Organization - 5.5 (on a scale of 1 - 10)
Let's get it together! Your organizational skills need a little work. Keeping things in the right place means you can move more quickly, making you more efficient and productive at work. So no matter what kind of career you're pursuing, the ability to keep yourself (and your work space) organized lets you spend your time on what's really important — working.

Efficiency - 5.5 (on a scale of 1 - 10)
Stop spinning your wheels and get in gear! Your efficiency could use a little help. Take some time to really analyze the work process, and learn how to get things done. Basically, you need to work on spending your time wisely — just talking about something doesn't always make it happen. You've got to persevere and focus your effort in the right places. Being more efficient is a tried-and-true way to move forward at work.

Teamwork - 7.5 (on a scale of 1 - 10)
Go, team, go! Your sense of teamwork is so strong you're practically out on the field doing cheers. Which is great — the ability to communicate and work closely with others is essential to good leadership. Team-building skills are the foundation of all interactions with your co-workers and can set the tone at work. So give yourself a pat on the back — your talent in this area gives you a real leadership edge.

Confidence - 7 (on a scale of 1 - 10)
You're a born leader ... and you know it! Confidence is a key component of leadership. And it's more than just feeling sure of yourself. It's about tackling new situations without being held back by any doubts. Your strong confidence level lets you focus your energies on success and truly shine as a leader at work.

Stolen from He Who Is Waiting For The Bar

Though I tend to use "Bother" more often... :)

Your word is BUGGER. You are generally quite restrained, but sometimes your anger or frustration comes to the surface and it all comes out. Yet you somehow can't stop sounding polite, despite it all.
Which Swear (Curse) Word Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Just because he's my ex...

...doesn't mean I can't appreciate what he has to say. Enjoy this commentary on Pat Robertson's latest faux pas!

('Sides which, he's still one of my best friends. I'm weird that way. :))

No, really, Officer, you must be mistaken...

...I was just high on the Lord! :) :) :)

Perspective...

Nice to be back in this space...

Is Your Glass Half Empty or Half Full?

Half-Full Glass
You try to look on the bright side, and optimism is a skill you've cultivated to help you weather life's rough spots. All the same, you know it's okay to admit when you're angry or hurt. You're neither blindly positive, nor prone to dwell on slights and injuries, and your generally positive outlook helps prepare you to take risks without being held back by bitterness or a fear of failure. Believe it or not, some scientists have theorized that there is an evolutionary advantage to optimism: Human beings may be programmed to view the world as just slightly better than it actually is, in order to recognize clearly any real threats to our well-being and handle them appropriately. Your ability to rise above negative thinking while remaining realistic about temporary setbacks is a great strength.

9... 8... 7...

The cat with 9 8 7 6 lives and counting!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050819/ap_on_fe_st/lucky_feline

Psychic Chicken Network???

http://www.ruprecht.com/index.html

I really don't know what else to comment on this... :)

Finally, some sense...

The case where in a divorce settlement the judge ruled, against the wishes of both parents, that a child couldn't be exposed to his parents' religion, was overturned unanimously today in appeal! (Yes, I know all the people involved in the case, in case anyone was curious...)

I gots Wheels!

Due to complicated circumstances which I won't bore you with here, I've been car-sharing with the almost-ex. But now I gots my own wheels! Nothing fancy, a very basic 1990 Civic sedan, but it's in fabulous shape, only 131000 miles which on a Honda still means it's got a decent amount of life in it yet, and it's a stick! And it was nice to know I could get right back in to the swing of driving one after... geez, 10 years since I've driven one regularly?

Meanwhile, my son starts middle school this week. How did I get this old? :)

Before and After

I think the lyrics to these two songs sum up where I was two weeks ago and where I am today with such precision that no other words are necessary...

-=Then=-

Cheryl Wheeler, "Addicted"

She says she hates to sleep alone but she'll do it tonight
She wants to grab her telephone but she knows it's not right
So if he won't call she'll survive
And if he don't care she'll get by
Climb into bed, bury her head and cry, cry

From the beginning he was all anyone could been
They were delirious with love, they were certain to win
Now he's breaking plans more and more
And he's leaving notes on her door
'took a trip out of town, couldn't turn this one down'
He said 'I guess I should have told you before'

(Chorus)
She says she feels like she's addicted to a real bad thing
She's always sitting, waiting wondering if the phone will ring
She knows she bounces like a yo-yo when he pulls her string
It hurts to feel like such a fool
She wants to tell him not to call or come around again
He doesn't need her now at all the way that she needs him
She's on the edge about to fall from leaning out and in
And she don't know which way to move

She wants to be fair, she couldn't say he was ever unkind
But if she could bear to walk away, she thinks he wouldn't mind
'cause he just keeps himself so apart
And there's no one else in her heart
So she's taking a dive from an emotional high
And coming down hard

She's determined to try, but she'll still give in when he gives her a call
And she'll ask herself why, but in the end it won't matter at all
Sure she could sit at home, stay inside
And sleep alone with her pride
And as she walks out her door, she feels as weak as before
With nothing to hide

(Chorus)

-=Now=-

Fred Small, "Other Side Of The Wood"

We met in the quiet of the meadow
We rambled hand in hand through the glade
We lay entwined on a pallet
Of clover and columbine made
But now the forest fills with shadows
And the raven and the wolf call your name
And you wonder how you ever came to wander
So deep into this unknown terrain

CHORUS:
So go your way I cannot hold you
Nor would I detain you if I could
I will wait for you in the clearing
On the other side of the wood

How I would speed to your rescue
Through the darkwood so wild and overgrown
But where you go I cannot follow
The staff you hew must be your own
For my comfort would only confine you
And my love would close about you like a shroud
All my fears for you would confound you
All my fears for myself would drag you down

CHORUS

I know the wind will tell you stories
And every tale come to a bloody end
But somewhere in that dread parade of possibilities
Is it possible I am your friend

To walk with a companion is a blessing
To forfeit one's freedom is a curse
To open the heart's wounds is agony
To bind them tight is even worse
Wherever the light before you leads you
And whether you find me or no
My love will travel softly at your shoulder
And abide with you wherever you may go

CHORUS

(As a complete aside, why should it not surprise me that Fred Small, my all-time favorite folk singer who almost no one else has heard of, is a UU minister? I just discovered this with a net search. Small world!)

Shift your perspective...

I love these "Magic Eye" pictures, both because they're fun and because to me they teach an object lesson in "all reality is perception." You can enjoy some pictures here - and if you're one of those people who swear you can't see them, you might check here.

Meanwhile, some fantastic "quote of the day" type things can be found here. My favorites from a quick read:

Security does not exist in nature. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. - Helen Keller

If you treat a man as he is, he will remain as he is; if you treat him as he ought to be and could be, he will become as he ought to be and could be. - Goethe

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no person can sincerely try to help another without helping themselves. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

And this one might answer my question, "How does it feel to be in a healthy relationship?"

While doing research for a doctoral thesis, a young man spent a year with a group of Navajo Indians on a reservation in the Southwest. He lived with one family, sleeping in their hut, eating their food, working with them, and generally living their life.

The grandmother of the family spoke no English, yet a very close friendship formed between the grandmother and the doctoral student. They seemed to share the common language of love and they intuitively understood each other. Over the months he learned a few phrases of Navajo, and she picked up words and phrases in English.

When it was time for the young man to return to the university and write his thesis, the tribe held a going-away celebration for him. It was marked by sadness since he had developed a close relationship with all those in the village. As he prepared to get into his pickup truck and drive away, the old grandmother came to tell him goodbye. With tears streaming from her eyes, she placed her hands on either side of his face, looked directly into his eyes, and said, "I like me best when I'm with you."

Ok, they're not ALL accurate, but most of 'em at least fit someone I grew up with! This should actually be labeled "you grew up in small-town Indiana" 'cause it doesn't fit my kids, growing up in "The" big city. :)

You Know You're From Indiana When...

You drive for three hours and the scenery outside doesn't change. There's three feet of snow on the ground and school is still in session. You only go to the mall once a year 'cause it takes too long to get there. While driving all you see is corn. People still have Christmas decorations up at Easter. You start saying to yourself "More than corn in Indiana my butt." Anyone with a cell phone looks out of place. Walking through Wal-Mart with two carts full of kids is normal. Anyone with a tan is rich. The hip hang-out place is McDonald's. (Hardees, in my hometown. Or the truck stop!) There really is more than corn in Indiana. There's soybeans, too. When you plan an orgy and a Euchre game breaks out. (This has to be my favorite one on the list! Why is Euchre the quintessential Indiana card game, anyway?) A restaurant has an invisible wall in the non-smoking section and you believe it works. Speeding consists of 2 miles over the speed limit. You think you don't have to use a turn signal on your car because you don't use it on your tractor. You build your dream house on a cornfield, and you considered it posh. You warsh your clothes and you think George Warshington was the first president. You're proud to be called a Hoosier, even if you don't know what one is. You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Terre Haute" Detassling was your first job. Bailing hay, your second. (Not mine, but just about everyone else I knew!) You can stack hay, swim in the pond to clean off, and then have the strength to play a couple of games of hoops all in the same day. You say things like "catty-wumpus" and "kitty-corner". You own a dirtbike or a ATV. (Nope, but have ridden on a friend's. :) You live in a city ... and there's a cornfield in your backyard. High school basketball game draws a bigger crowd on the weekend nights than movie theaters. You can see at least 2 basketball hoops from your yard. You can name every one of Bob Knight's "exploits" over the last few years. You shop at Marsh. (We didn't have a Marsh where I grew up. Them was only in the big cities!) Damon Bailey was your childhood hero. (Wow, I'm so much older than this question...) The biggest question of your youth was "IU or Purdue?" Indianapolis is the "big city". "Getting caught by a train" is a legitimate excuse for being late to school. People at your high school chewed tobacco. Everyone knows who the town cop is, where he lives, and whether he is at home or on duty. You actually know what the CART vs IRL debate is about and have taken a side. To you, a raccoon is simply a "coon". The vehicle of choice in your area is not a car, but a pickup. Someone you know is BIG John Mellencamp fan. You've been to the Covered Bridge Festival. To you, a tenderloin is not an expensive cut of beef, but a big, salty, breaded piece of pork served on a bun with pickles. You call a green bell pepper a "mango". (OK, this one I've never heard?) Sometimes, you call the toilet the "commode" or the "stool". In the fall, one of your favorite pranks was corning cars. (And soaping cars, and TP-ing. And they didn't mention cow-tipping!) You know what FFA and 4H stand for. You know what chip-and-seal is, and your high school was located on just such a road. You go the county fair every night of it's week-long duration. You can say "French Lick" without laughing out loud. There's actually a college near you named "Ball State." The last "g" is silent in any word ending in "ing." You think the state Bird is Larry. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Indiana.

Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here



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Epiphany

I've been in a lot of pain lately.

I just read a book that transformed my life.

No kidding, folks.

Now, I'm not so naive as to think that everyone will respond the same way. This happened to be a symbol set that -reached- me, right at a time when I -needed- it. It won't reach everyone.

But for them as are interested, the same book that I found by chance at Half Price Books tonight is also available for free, on-line, here:

http://www.whyagain.com/book-en/Default.htm

Basically, I discovered I've been addicted to the concept of romance, as a symptom of a need for external validation. I thought I clung in relationships because I was afraid of abandonment. But taking that a step further, I've not been afraid of abandonment, but been afraid of losing the good feelings I have about myself when I tell myself stories in my mind about a relationship. Because I was afraid of losing the good feelings, I clung to the relationships, and did all sorts of things to try to "make" them work, "rescue" the other person and "make" him stay with me. Oh, nothing overtly controlling... but analyzing every move and modifying my emotional responses in order to evoke emotional response in another person -is- control, and not unconditional love. I learned a lot of this at another fabulous website, http://www.coping.org/coping/titles.htm.

Now, intellectually I have known that external things don't have to affect my internal self-perception, self-validation, and sense of being. I've read and heard those words over and over and over.

Until tonight, I'd never -experienced- them.

And though I've known it intellectually, now I *understand* that I can create these good feelings all by myself. What a tremendous weight to be lifted - to no longer feel compelled to change anyone, for my happiness to not be dependent on anything but me!

This is definitely one of those experiences that just doesn't translate into words. But boy, it feels good.

Today's lyrics

Julia Fordham, "Threadbare"

Threadbare, frayed around the edges
Down where all I'm getting is you don't care
And hoping that I'm wrong

I am crushed by your indifference, know I must try
To stop wishing if only I
Could undo what I've done

If I knew then what I know now
I would have saved my words somehow
Headed underground, crushed without a sound

Threadbare
Tired from the inside out
I'm kind of worn down by the doubt
And time will tell how it should be
If I knew then what I know now
I would have saved my words somehow
Headed underground, crushed without a sound
Threadbare

There's something I'm missing
You're not giving me
I talk and you listen
But will you ever see?

Love's a funny thing

More Memes

Huh. Pretty accurate.

How You Life Your Life

You seem to be straight forward, but you keep a lot inside. You tend to avoid confrontation and stay away from sticky situations. You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences. Some of your past dreams have disappointed you, but you don't let it get you down.

How Do You Live Your Life?

Much happier lyrics...

Miracles happen, miracles happen
You showed me faith is not blind
I don't need wings to help me fly
Miracles happen, miracles happen

I can't imagine living my life without you now
Not ever having you around
We found our way out
(on you I can depend)
Don't have to look back to realize how far we've come
There are million reasonsI'm looking up
I don't want this to end

Nothing
Nothing should ever bring you down
Knowing what goes around will come around

You showed me faith is not blind
I don't need wings to help me fly
Miracles happen, once in a while
When you believe (miracles happen)
You showed me dreams come to light
That taking a chance on us was right
All things will come with a little time
When you believe

There is no question we found the missing pieces
Our picture is complete
It's fallen into place
This is our moment, you and I are looking up
Someone is watching over us
Keeping me close
Closer to you every day

Nowhere
Nowhere on earth I'd rather be
No one can take this away from you and me

When you believe
The soul is a shining light
When you believe
The heart has the will to fight
You can do anything, don't be afraid
We're gonna find our way

Today's lyrics...

Gender-changed for "person 1" from the original song:

Person 1:

I've had enough of danger
And people on the streets
I'm looking out for angels
Just trying to find some peace
Now I think it's time
That you let me know
So if you love me
Say you love me
But if you don't just let me go...

'Cause teacher
There are things that I don't want to learn
And the last one I had
Made me cry
So I don't want to learn to
Hold you, touch you
Think that you're mine
Because it ain't no joy
Lovin' an uptown boy
Whose teacher has told him goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

When you were just a stranger
And I was at your feet
I didn't feel the danger
Now I feel the heat
That look in your eyes
Telling me no

Person 2:
So you think that you love me
Know that you need me
I wrote the song, I know it's wrong
Just let me go...

And teacher
There are things
That I don't want to learn
Oh the last one I had
Made me cry
So I don't want to learn to
Hold you, touch you
Think that you're mine
Because it ain't no joy
For an uptown boy
Whose teacher has told him goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

So when you say that you need me
That you'll never leave me
I know you're wrong, you're not that strong
Just let me go

And teacher
There are things
That I still have to learn
But the one thing I have is my pride
Oh so I don't want to
Hold you, touch you
Think that you're mine
Because there ain't no joy
For an uptown boy
Who just isn't willing to try

I'm so cold
Inside

Person 1:
Maybe just one more try...

Experts say, universe too weird for words

(Heck, I could have told them that - it shouldn't have taken an expert. :) )

But I find it very interesting that a renowned physicist is once again saying what metaphysics has said for years. Richard Dawkins says that we live in a "middle world," a reality created by each person/being that lives in it. Sounds a whole lot like metaphysics and shamanism, doesn't it?

Today's lyrics...

Found a fun artist, David Poe. Unfortunately, the rest of his songs aren't as awesome as this one:

You took me like a drifter takes a friend
I’ll never be that honest again...
and when it seems like nothing’s gonna’ change
Then your world comes crashing down

Your friends accomodate your darker phase...
Then you find it’s been a hundred days
When’s the last time you remember feeling safe?
You’re surrounded by assassins in this place...
but you wanted to be here and I’m amazed

Chorus:
If I appear in every story that you tell
How can you say that I don’t know you well?
Wasn’t I the one that caught you when you fell
How can you say that I don’t treat you well?
When I’m ringing out your name like a bell
How can you say that I don’t wish you well?
I wish you well

You get that lonely feeling at the door
Even though you’ve left this place before
Because the truth is you won’t care anymore
‘Not until your world comes crashing down again
Chorus

Almost amazingly accurate...

Except for the part about appearing "mysterious and dramatic," this appears to be right on the money. Unless I completely misjudge how I come off to others, I think I'm more likely to appear "aloof and nondescript." But maybe I'm just in a non-self-confident head space today...

Your Power Color Is Indigo

At Your Highest: You are on a fast track to success - and others believe in you. At Your Lowest: You require a lot of attention and praise. In Love: You see people as how you want them to be, not as how they are. How You're Attractive: Your dramatic flair makes others see you as mysterious and romantic. Your Eternal Question: "Does This Work Into My Future Plans?"

What's Your Power Color?

Monkeying around

Here's a link to a NY Times article about the results of teaching capuchin monkeys how to use money. I loved the closing paragraph:

When taught to use money, a group of capuchin monkeys responded quite rationally to simple incentives; responded irrationally to risky gambles; failed to save; stole when they could; used money for food and, on occasion, sex. In other words, they behaved a good bit like the creature that most of Chen's more traditional colleagues study: Homo sapiens.

I'm just not sure whether it makes me laugh or cry. :)

Hmm. I think this is the lowest I've ever scored on an IQ test. Then again, I may be a bit off today...

Your IQ Is 110

Your Logical Intelligence is Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional Your General Knowledge is Above Average

A Quick and Dirty IQ Test

Ok, the soundtracking elves are going at it again...

I woke up with this song in my head. Looked up the lyrics. They fit my life to a T right now... (I gender-changed them to allow me to be the singer, tho.)

You can look at the menu but you just can’t eat
You can feel the cushions but you can’t have a seat
You can dip your foot in the pool but you can’t have a swim
You can feel the punishment but you can’t commit the sin
And you want him and he wants you
We want everyone
And you want him and he wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame

You can build a mansion you just can’t live in
You’re the fastest runner but you’re not allowed to win
Some break the rules and live to count the cost
The insecurity is the thing that won’t get lost
And you want him and he wants you
We want everyone
And you want him and he wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame

You can see the summit but you can’t reach it
It’s the last piece of the puzzle but you just can’t make it fit
Doctor says you’re cured but you still feel the pain
Aspirations in the clouds but your hopes go down the drain
And you want him and he wants you
We want everyone
And you want him and he wants you
No one, no one, no one ever is to blame
No one ever is to blame
No one ever is to blame

I used to be green. I think this is primarily accurate, though...

Your Aura is Purple Your Personality: You're a dreamer and visionary. You believe you were put on this earth to do something great. You in Love: You're very passionate but often too busy for love. You need a man who sees your vision and adopts it as his own. Your Career: You need a job that helps you make a difference. You have a bright future as a guru, politician, teacher, or musician. What Color Is Your Aura? Take This Quiz

And, despite my association with Thalia, I suspect this is true as well...

Your Inner Muse is Urania You are most like this muse of astronomy. Your head is in the stars, and you look to the future. You give off a heavenly, mysterious vibe. And you're not too bad at predicting the future. What Muse Are You? Take This Quiz

Ooh, new political party!

This is probably closer to my personal views than anything else I've found so far out there:

http://www.americancentristparty.com/

And here's the quote of the day, proving that some problems are common to democracy, whether BCE or ACE:

"We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office." --Aesop

Other fabulous quotes can be found at http://www.wisdomquotes.com/cat_politics.html - including:

Dave Barry:

The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I would be reluctant to entrust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy. The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn't bother to stop because they'd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club.

Carl Schurz:

The peace and welfare of this and coming generations of Americans will be secure
only as we cling to the watchword of true patriotism: "Our country -- when right
to be kept right; when wrong to be put right."

Hmm. I'm not sure I'd say shy and sensitive fits?

You Are Strawberry Ice Cream

A bit shy and sensitive, you are sweet to the core. You often find yourself on the outside looking in. Insightful and pensive, you really understand how the world works. You are most compatible with chocolate chip ice cream.

What Flavor Ice Cream Are You?

Meanwhile, in the news:

• So the G-8 summit didn't set any timetables for reducing emissions. Someone explain to me how this is more than saying, "Gee, global warming is bad!"
• This is harsher than I feel, but then again I'm not in this woman's shoes. I never liked the war in Iraq, but I was willing to support it if we were going to take out a dictator who brought things to his people like government-supported rape. I never understood why we even asked about the WMDs when there were things like that going on! But I don't see that we've done diddly over squat for the Iraqi people, which was, IMNSHO, the only worthwhile reason to go there. So mostly I agree with this woman, albeit more gently.
• All right, who played with lemming genetics here? (And yes, I know the lemming myth is just that. But it's funnier if I imply that lemmings have done unnatural things with sheep...)
• And this just falls under the "Buh?" category...

Back from vacation!

The kids are gone to camp for two weeks (YAY!) so the OAG* and I took off for a spontaneous weekend down in New Harmony which was relaxing and just what I needed after the work I've put in over the last month. Let's hear it for great food and time in a jacuzzi!

And I didn't even know this song, but after looking at the lyrics, I can agree with this...

Your Summer Anthem is Speed of Sound by Coldplay All that noise, and all that sound, All those places I got found. And birds go flying at the speed of sound, to show you how it all began. You're out of your mind this summer, in a good way.

What's Your 2005 Summer Anthem?

Full lyrics:
How long before I get in?
Before it starts, before I begin?
How long before you decide?
Before I know what it feels like?
Where to, where do I go?
If you never try, then you'll never know.
How long do I have to climb,
Up on the side of this mountain of mine?
Look up, I look up at night,
Planets are moving at the speed of light.
Climb up, up in the trees,
every chance that you get,
is a chance you seize.
How long am I gonna stand,
with my head stuck under the sand?
I'll start before I can stop,
before I see things the right way up.
All that noise, and all that sound,
All those places I got found.
And birds go flying at the speed of sound,
to show you how it all began.
Birds came flying from the underground,
if you could see it then you'd understand?
Ideas that you'll never find,
All the inventors could never design.
The buildings that you put up,
Japan and China all lit up.
The sign that I couldn't read,
or a light that I couldn't see,
some things you have to believe,
but others are puzzles, puzzling me.

-=-=-
* Officer and Gentleman - so named in a previous post... And the picture, while good (and in dress uniform, yummy!) doesn't look much like him - he's never not smiling!

Centrist, with Libertarian Tendencies

From a quiz at http://www.quiz2d.com/:

Description

Your views call for a bit more liberty than we currently have in the United States today.
Vote in some Libertarians into the legislatures that affect you and you will get your desires fulfilled. Note that the Libertarian Party calls for a far greater amount of freedom than you appear to desire, so you currently don't want them to have a clear majority.
But think of a tub of cold bathwater. To get it warm enough to be comfortable, you add hot water, not ideal temperature water. The Libertarian Party is made of hot-blooded lovers of liberty, ideally suited for counterracting the power-mongers who dwell in our legislative bodies.
But once you have warmed up the bath, you may find it pleasant to go hotter still. Freedom is addictive once you have experienced it.

Suggested Links

(note: I haven't checked these out yet - they're just what the quiz recommended)

• http://www.holisticpolitics.org/ Freedom, equality, nature,...these are all good things. All to often, political debate rages over which is more important. Synergies get overlooked. There is a better way, holistic politics. By looking at multiple values at the same time, it is possible to come up with creative solutions for the world's problems, solutions that make all the factions more happy.
• http://www.libertarianism.com
• The Libertarian Party
• http://www.tpaine.org/
• http://www.free-market.net/
• http://www.freeliberal.com/

Nothing I can add more than this song already says...

Survey!

Swiped from Chorus...

Movie quotes they missed

(See last blog post for the AFI's list of top 100 quotes)

I thought it'd be fun to compile quotes we think should have made the list.

How about...

• "I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days." --Bull Durham
• "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain." --Wizard of Oz
• Why nothing from Star Wars? (I mean, back then, Lucas actually put quotable dialogue in his movies!) What about, "I find your lack of faith... disturbing." or "Use the Force, Luke!", or even "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...", if the criteria is "quotes that have become part of our culture".
• And they didn't use the 2001 quote I would have used. I would have used "My God... it's full of stars!"

A few that are not so well known that I think they should have made the list, but that are favorite quotes of mine all the same:
"Of course he has a knife, he always has a knife, we all have knives! It's 1183 and we're barbarians!" -- Lion in Winter
"Who wants to go down the creepy tunnel inside the tomb first?" --National Treasure
"Will someone get this big walking carpet out of my way?" --Star Wars

More as I think of 'em!

I must be missing something...

This Reuters article says "the U.S. Air Force Academy failed to accommodate minority beliefs but there is no overt religious discrimination at the college." But in the same article they "described a campus chaplain telling cadets they would "burn in the fires of hell" if they were not born-again Christians." Someone explain to me how that is not overt religious discrimination? I must be missing something...

Meanwhile, for your entertainment, the American Film Institute compiled the top 100 film quotes of all time. Amazing how many of these get misquoted. Also amazing how many of them I know and how few of the movies I've actually seen. :)

What's in a name?

As the divorce papers that began the filing process before New Years' are actually, truly filed now (a comedy of errors involving having them sent back at least twice - if anyone out there files in Indiana, know the forms must be in triplicate -- apparently they can't photocopy 'em themselves!-- and you must pay with a money order only. Grr.) I am now thinking about names. Should I go back to my maiden name? Let me share some of the pros and cons.

CONS
1) If I changed my name, it would be different than the kids'. Now, this is common enough nowadays as to not cause too many questions - between multiple marriages and divorces, and the fact that as UUs we tend to be around people who were liberated enough not to change names when they got married, it might cause a bit of confusion, but not shock or dismay. I am, however, not sure if it will bother the -kids-. But if you take my poll, please assume that it's ok with them, and I promise I'll check it with them before I do anything. :) (edited 19Jun05 to verify that yes, the kids are OK with this--we talked last night.)

2) I've used my current name in business for the last 13 years; it's the only name I've ever had at Lilly, and it is a big ol' PITA to change your name at work - you become hard to find in e-mail for people who don't know your new name, and you have to fill out forms for a billion different systems (though it's easier for me now than it would have been when I was at the helpdesk - at one point, I had counted, and had more than 22 separate login accounts!!! S'what happens when you have password change privleges, and provide backup support to every support queue.) Now, it's certainly not not-do-able; just complex.

3) I hesitate to take my dad's name back when he and I don't particularly get along. Is it a slap in my mom's face to take back the name of someone who hurt her that badly?

4) Darnit, if I take my maiden name back I go back to being at the end of the alphabet! :)

PROS
1) There is a certain appeal in having a name that is unlinked with another person. Until I changed my name for two marriages, I did think "what's in a name?" But the truth is, one's name DOES have something to do with how one perceives oneself. I know I had personality changes when I changed my name, and I think it contributed to the loss of self-identity I experienced in the early 90's (not the ONLY reason by a long shot; just one more straw on the camel's humph. :) ). You men out there don't have an equivalent experience, and it really -does- give some sort of psychological connotation of "ownership" or of being the person who changes, compromises, does all the giving in a relationship. That sounds too psychobabble-trite to be true, but in my experience there is a subconscious effect that I for one didn't expect before it happened. That's part of why making up a name is tempting. OTOH, making up a name involves a whole lot more explanation than just taking back one's maiden name. And besides, how would one make one up? I mean, I have one I used in the neopagan community - but that one was also linked to the ex, which makes it no different than keeping my current name. If part of the reason to do this is to identify myself unlinked with anyone else, then that name doesn't make sense to take either.

2) In support of taking back my maiden name, "Vachet," despite the fact that I don't get along very well with my dad and grandmother, the family name itself has interesting history. Through my Vachet name, I am descended from French royalty (Charlemaigne among others), as well as William of Orange (the man who freed the Netherlands for religious tolerance); Pierre You, one of the members of LaSalle's 1682 expedition down the Mississippi, who also married a Miami Indian; the first permanent settler in Indiana, and John and Pricilla Alden of the Mayflower. That's all pretty darned cool, and something I could honor, even if some members of my family have been flakes. :)

3) No one can spell or pronounce my maiden name - but no one can spell or pronounce my current name, either. :) However, I -could- (and this is an idea that appeals to me) take my maiden name back but pronounce it with its French pronunciation, "va-SHAY." Since the name has been in the Americas since the late 1600s, it's been Anglicized into "VA-chet." But when Mom named me, she was thinking of how pretty the name would sound if it were pronounced the French way: Suzanne Michelle Vachet. That would be a way of taking the name I was born with and making it mine. Would that be too pretentious?

(Added bonus: Had a distant cousin who changed the pronunciation and it royally ticked off my dad and grandparents. So if I wanted to be pissy, it'd be appropriate. :))

4) In re: hesitating to link with family members who I don't get along with, the advantage is that there are hardly any of them around any more - there weren't that many in the first place - and so it's not like they'll know one way or the other anyway, or that anyone else will know them to link me to them. Besides which, I -like- my aunt. (Though, of course, she doesn't go by her maiden name either. Come to think of it, she might have the longest-lasting marriage I can think of. Given that my uncle's pretty cool himself, I think they've both done well.)

The more I think of it, the more I'm leaning towards that French pronunciation option. Anyone want to chime in an opinion?

What's in a name? Should I change my name when my divorce is final? No, keep your current name so that it is the same as your kids name. No, keep your current name because it is the only name you have been known by at work. Yes, change it to your maiden name, but pronounce it va-SHAY. Yes, change it to your maiden name, and pronounce it the way the rest of your family did when you were growing up (VA-chet). Yes, but change it to a name you made up for yourself (if you select this option, please post any suggestions in the comments section of my blog!). view results Easy online poll builder - free! $5 Web Hosting!

Poem

Wide-eyed, wild-eyed,
for a moment the man
is eclipsed by the boy.
He knows.
He remembers.
And deftly he rescues you,
gnaws free your dangerously-mired heart.

Holes?
An unavoidable consequence.
Well worth the cost.
Bleeding is irrelevant.

(c) 2005

Boy, you can tell my project deadlines from my lack of posts

So. Here it is Wednesday morning, and I'm finally ready to turn in a document that was due by EOB (that's "end of business" for you acronymically challenged [Acronymically? Is that a word? It is now!]) Monday. Waiting on my boss to review it before it goes off into the document pile that is our global security office.

Have some fun numbers!
1) 43 - the number of pages it has turned out to be. So far; I also have a set of Word docs to go with the Powerpoint doc. But those are just copy/pastes from the Powerpoint, so I'm waiting a bit to do those. Why? Because of the next number...
2) 7 - the number of hours I have slept in the last 72. Yes, really. Even legal stimulants don't help at this point!
3) 11 - the number of those hours that I've spent at the ball park during that time. Even in the midst of non-sleeping deadlines, I'm still a mom.

Why am I blogging? Because I'm waiting for my boss to give me the ok to email the document, and I sure don't have the coherency to do real work right now!

Oh, wait, I forgot to add one piece of data...

(gee, maybe the person who called me a perfectionist last year might have a point after all...)

A story in five songs, three acts

All Alison Krauss/Union Station. Don't know why they tend to have lyrics that fit my life so well. Maybe I should try to cover some of them, make them less bluegrass...

(edited later to correct lyrics, and also to add the disclaimer that genders in some lyrics were changed to make them fit the person I had in mind while posting them...)

Act 1:

"Crazy As Me"

I'm used to being alone.
Except for six month playings without rings and phone bills that outweigh the phone.
This is the life that I chose.
I got no complaints if she is or she ain't--
if she's not, I guess she'll send me a rose.

Just don't ask me for the truth if you choose to love me.
And don't try to open my door with your skeleton key.
Some folks seem to think I only got one problem.
I can't find nobody as crazy as me.

I still love what I know.
I love to ride alone and sing a song and listen to the radio.
You can ride along and if you change your mind, well, that's just fine,
But there is somethin' that you got to know.

Just don't ask me for the truth if you choose to love me.
And don't try to open my door with your skeleton key.
Some folks seem to think I only got one problem.
I can't find nobody as crazy as me.

-=0=-

Act 2:

"Borderline"

So you're on your own lookin' down the road that goes only by one name
And you don't need the signs to see lonely still runs both ways
So who's the fool who would think the ties would be better off undone
Did your heart even warn you when you veered from the path that was narrower and straight

On the borderline
Somewhere between the flight for freedom
Feeling like you can't move on
The chore will be the time
To take you off of my mind and out of my heart I know
And when you cross over there's no turning back
Once that burning bridge is gone

I may lose but I'm in it for the long run
Loving you for good reason could be the wrong one
I don't wanna lose control but the heart won't learn
To leave well enough alone

On the borderline
Somewhere between the flight for freedom
Feeling like you can't move on
The chore will be the time
To take you off of my mind and out of my heart I know
And when you cross over there's no turning back
Once that burning bridge is gone

So you're on your own lookin' down the road that goes only by one name

-=0=-

"One Good Reason"

Just give me one good reason tonight
Must be something you could say to me
To keep me warm on this cold dark night
Can you bring out the best in me?

That old moon in shining brightly
Up above the midnight plains
I only want your love to guide me
Back through the night and take us home again

Can I bring out the best in you as well?
Must be some way you could let me know
While we wait out the sun, only time will tell
Will you love me or let me go?

That old moon in shining brightly
Up above the midnight plains
I only want your love to guide me
Back through the night and take us home again

So now my friend with this gentle plea
Can you tell me what is on your mind?
There’s just one good reason, that’s all I need:
to chase the sorrow from your eyes

That old moon in shining brightly
Up above the midnight plains
I only want your love to guide me
Back through the night and take us home again

-=0=-

Act 3:

"Daylight"

Daylight falls and I'm lost in the big parade.
Hold my hand, darling, I'm afraid of the daylight.
Shade is dark.
Cool and languid for life or love.
Safe in shadows; never stark as the daylight.
As the daylight.

When I was just knee high,
My poppa told me, never try,
To be someone that I am not.
Yet over time I had forgot,
The wandering child, so lost at play:
He's found himself but he can't find his way,
In the daylight.
Oh, the daylight.

Life is short, and there's no turning back the time.
Fragrant meadows and rocks to climb in the daylight.
In my mind,
There's a corner I need to turn.
Lessons lived is a lesson learned in the daylight.
In the daylight.

I miss the forest shade,
You took me there, the promise I made,
To never leave the dark so deep.
Safe and soothing, yet I fear,
As I recall and now reflect,
I see it's safer to connect,
To the daylight.
Oh, the daylight.

Daylight falls and I'm lost in the big parade.
Hold my hand, darling, I'm afraid of the daylight.
Of the day...Daylight

-=0=-

Epilogue:

"When You Say Nothing At All"

It’s amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don’t say a thing

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There’s a truth in your eyes sayin’ you’ll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Old mr. webster could never define
What’s being said between your heart and mine

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There’s a truth in your eyes sayin’ you’ll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

-=0=-

I may lose but I'm in it for the long run...

I like these!

Found at http://www.anvari.org/shortjoke/Funny3/1399.html - and I've added editorial comments throughout. :)

(And if you think you might note a slightly cynical note to some of the comments, you might be right. Seems appropriate at the moment. :P)

WOMEN'S 50 RULES FOR MEN
1. Call.
2. Don't lie. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! etc., ad nauseum, triple underline and put in 72 point type!)
3. Never tape any of her body parts together.
4. If guys' night out is going to be fun, invite the girls.
5. If guys' night out is going to involve strippers, remember the zoo rules: No Petting.
6. The correct answer to "Do I look fat?" is never, ever "Yes."
7. Ditto for "Is she prettier than me?"
8. Victoria's Secret is good. Frederick's of Hollywood is bad. (Editor's note: I'm not convinced of this :))
9. Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad.
10. Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad.
11. "Honey", "Darling", and "Sweetheart" are good. "Nag", "Lardass", and "Bitch" are bad.
12. Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony.
13. A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.
14. None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer, prettier, or better in bed .
15. Her cooking is excellent.
16. That isn't an excuse for you to avoid cooking.
17. Dish soap is your friend.
18. Hat does not equal shower, after shave does not equal soap, and warm does not equal clean.
19. Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay.
20. Answering "Who was that on the phone?" with "Nobody" is never going to end that conversation. (Let's hear an "Amen Sister"!!!)
21. Ditto for "Whose lipstick is this?" (Ed. - or whose CDs *wry look* )
22. Two words: clean socks.
23. Believe it or not, you're probably not more attractive when you're drunk.
24. Burping is not sexy.
25. You're wrong.
26. You're sorry. (Ed. - Correlary to 26 - If you do it over and over again, you weren't really sorry!)
27. She is probably less impressed by your discourse on your cool car than you think she is. (Ed. - Actually, if he's really enthusiastic about it, I'll listen to discourse on almost anything. Most things are interesting when discussed with enthusiasm and passion.)
28. Ditto for your discourse on football. (Ed. - See above)
29. Ditto for your ability to jump up and hit any awning in a single bound. (Ed. - See above)
30. "Will you marry me?" is good. "Let's shack up together" is bad. (Ed: I wouldn't say this necessarily. Not every woman wants to get married.)
31. Don't assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood.
32. Don't assume PMS doesn't exist.
33. No means No. Yes means Yes. Silence could mean anything she feels like at that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice. (Ed. - I think this particular "silence" quality in women is as unappealing and disrespectful as lying is in men. Either communicate or don't, but don't play guessing games.)
34. "But, we kiss..." is not justification for using her toothbrush. You don't clean plaque with your tongue.
35. Never let her walk anywhere alone after 11 pm.
36. Chivalry and feminism are NOT mutually exclusive. (And how!)
37. Pick her up at the airport. Don't whine about it, just do it.
38. If you want to break up with her, break up with her. Don't act like a complete jerk until she does it for you. (Ed. - If I didn't find it so obnoxious, I'd put this one in the "blink" HTML tag, I would!)
39. Don't tell her you love her if you don't.
40. Tell her you love her if you do. Often.
41. Always, always suck up to her brother. (Ed. - Irrelevant to me - no siblings. :))
42. Think boxers. (Ed. - I just don't care, so long as I like what's underneath them. :) :) :))
43. Silk boxers. (Ed. - Now silk has its points...)
44. Remember Valentine's Day, and any cheesy "anniversary" she so-names. (Ed. - Except for those of us who just don't care. But even then, surprise rememberances are fun...)
45. Don't try to change the way she dresses.
46. Her haircut is never bad.
47. Don't let your friends pick on her.
48. Call.
49. Don't lie.
50. The rules are never fair. Accept this without question. The fact that she has to go through labor while you sit in the waiting room on your a$$ smoking cigars isn't fair either, and it balances everything. (Ed. - I actually think these rules are fair, but I'm willing to hear debate from the gentlemen who read this...)

A slight reprieve, but only slight...

Edited to add links at the end...

Kickoff isn't until next Tuesday now. We're doing one session Thursday, but it's just the IT session, not one of the big manufacturing operations sessions.

What sessions? Well (not that any of you care, but since I'm likely to talk about it a lot in passing, I might as well try the explanation one time) my role at work is *takes deep breath* Local Security Steward and OCM Support (Organizational Change Management) for the IndyDry GBIP Release 12 Local Implementation Team at Eli Lilly and Company. *gasps for breath* The Officer and Gentleman ("OAG" from now on - I needed a blog nickname for him :) ) says he doesn't understand how I don't pass out when I record my greeting on my voice mail. :)

In words of less syllables, I do organization and security design and maintenance for our SAP implementation. Ok, that's not a -lot- less syllables, but I don't know how else to describe it.

*tries again* I gather the information that lets us figure out who needs what security, put together the security sets, and assign them to everyone. Along the way, I help people make new org charts since there are a lot of changes to who does what. Is that better? :)

Anyway... two of our major milestones are coming up, and they're two that I own. One is Future State Org Design (FSOD, not to be confused with FOAD). In FSOD sessions, we get people together and say, "Look at the jobs you have now. What tasks do they do? Now look at the future tasks and jobs. Are the same people doing them? Are there tasks that go away? Are there tasks that get added? Do you need more people, or less, or just to shift people around?"

Doing this for an organization of about 750 people is a Big Freakin' Job. And I run all the sessions. I mean, I have people there who can answer questions I can't (of which there are legion), both on the business side and on the SAP developer side, but in the middle is me to facilitate, compile the information we put together, and make sure we get all the data we need. 'Cause if we don't, we're likely to have people who don't have the right access in the system after implementation. And guess whose fault that would be? You got it.

I had a weird moment the other day, too. I was working on scheduling the sessions and our administrative assistant suggested I delegate my calendar to her so she could schedule things. This boggled my mind. I'm thinking, waitaminnit--it wasn't that many years ago that I *was* a secretary! I don't delegate calendars to other people. I'm used to -being- the admin, not -having- an admin! It was an odd feeling, to say the least.

Anyway, these are the sessions I'm scrambling to put together - make sure we have the right people invited, make sure all parts of the organization are covered, get things on people's calendars in time for them to actually show up, create presentations of "what we have now" and "what we're going to have" for about 15 BIG processes, hope the application engineers who really know what they're talking about show up... :)

Aiieeeee. Just... aiieee.

Don't get me wrong - I'm getting a big charge out of the job. I -think- I still like writing procedures more. But I like -owning- part of the implementation, and playing a bigger role, and getting to go over so much of the new processes with people.

I could, however, live without the deadlines.

More later, if I don't expire of sheer frantic busy-ness...

Links for the curious:

• Organizational Change Management info
• Organizational Design info
• What is SAP? Well, SAP is ERP (Enterprise Resource Planning) software. See this Google list for a bunch of definitions of ERP.
• SAP Security Design info (hey, watch me find things useful for me when I google this for my blog!)

I'd reverse these two...

Your Dominant Thinking Style:

Modifying Super logical and rational, you consider every fact available to you. You don't make rash decisions and are rarely moved by emotion. You prefer what's known and proven - to the new and untested. You tend to ground those around you and add stability.

Your Secondary Thinking Style:

Visioning You are very insightful and tend to make decisions based on your insights. You focus on how things should be - even if you haven't worked out the details. An idealist, thinking of the future helps you guide your path. You tend to give others long-term direction and momentum.

What's Your Thinking Style?

A 16th Century Rock Band?

I'm back to working a whole buncha hours right now, as my big project is coming up... three weeks earlier than we originally had in the project plan! So I'm scrambling to get things ready for two-and-a-half weeks of sessions in less than half the original planning time. Needless to say, I'm back to working days, nights, and weekends. Still, I took time to take the kids to St. Roch's carnival Friday night and go see Hitchhiker's Guide on Saturday with the gentleman friend and two of his friends, who I enjoyed meeting. (Hitchhiker was OK, not 'knock your socks off', but OK. I did think they got the surreal 'feel' of the book right. Fortunately, it's been long enough since I read the book that I couldn't tell you how closely it followed the plot. As if the book had a linear plot, anyway!) Sunday during the day, I worked several hours at home in an unusually and gloriously empty house (the kids' dad kindly took them away for a bit). And Sunday evening, the gentleman friend drove all the way downtown to take me and my laptop to the Abbey and buy me dinner, for the dubious pleasure of my company while my nose was in my laptop and my head in Microsoft Access (Access should be MUCH easier than it is, darnit!). So I spent another couple hours working there while he prepped for the class he's teaching today. Now that's what I call kindness.

While at the Abbey, my friend got the guy behind the counter talking (as he is wont to do--the man's never met a stranger!) and found out he has a record label, and is now trying to convince me to work on writing music more and doing open mics places like there. I do not think any of my music is anywhere near ready for public performance. For one thing, I don't actually play an instrument, I just put things together on computer, so the only part I could do "live" would be vocals unless I could find some other instrumentalist. And I just don't think I have enough songs, and those that I have I don't think are good enough for performance. I'm not normally known as being terribly shy or modest, so I -think- I'm being legitimately critical. OTOH, I can think of someone I know who writes who never thinks his work is good enough when I'm quite certain it is, so perhaps I'm having a similar issue. It's just not one I associate with myself, so I'm not sure. Perhaps I'll post a song or two (which is really all I have recorded) and see what people think. But not until after my project kickoff Wednesday! Aieeeee! (<--sound of distress)

Meanwhile, also while at the Abbey, we got given a flier for a group playing there Friday night, and if I can swing childcare I think we'll go. The group is called Il Troubadore and bills itself as "Indy's 16th Century Rock Band." This sounds like fun! And by Friday, I'm sure I'll need some fun...

Go with the flow!

You Have A Type B+ Personality

B+ You're a pro at going with the flow You love to kick back and take in everything life has to offer A total joy to be around, people crave your stability. While you're totally laid back, you can have bouts of hyperactivity. Get into a project you love, and you won't stop until it's done You're passionate - just selective about your passions

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

Emotional safety, huh?

Somehow, this is a subject on my mind right now. :P
The brightener
You scored as 62% safe! You also scored 52% humble.

You're a tactful person and tend to brighten the days of those who know you. You go out of your way to help people and not hurt them, although from time to time you do make a stand for truth and for yourself, even at the expense of others. However, you do this rarely enough that people should usually feel their emotions are safe with you.

My test tracked 2 variables: How you compared to other people, and your age and gender:

You scored higher than 57% on safeness

You scored higher than 84% on humility

Link: The Emotional Safety Test written by kp0041 on OkCupid Free Online Dating

Sometimes it takes local government...

A coalition of US Mayors --bipartisan, no less! --is choosing to voluntarily follow Kyoto, even when Shrub our national government has chosen not to. Another argument for decentralized government! And for people who don't have their head in the sand (around their oil well, no doubt...) .

Oh, and this one too

Moody Blues night
Within Your Eyes

Within your eyes so many good hellos and sad goodbyes,
Your future shines, the past reclines
Yet still you seek to find
A place to run, you can't hide yourself behind the sun,
Your wings will burn, you'll never learn
That life must carry on.

For you could be the dancing breeze
That moves the trees to shed their leaves around you,
Or you could be the light in me
That shows the way my life could be around you.

When you feel low you try so hard but still you let it show,
Such foolish pride, you're hurt inside,
I know, so why pretend?
When love goes wrong you're left to sing a very empty song,
Your love was blind, but that's no crime;
True love is hard to find.

But you could be the dancing breeze
That moves the trees to shed their leaves around you,
Or you could be the light in me
That shows the way my life could be around you.

Today's lyrics

The Moody Blues
I Dreamed Last Night

Oh I dreamed last night I was hearing
Hearing your voice,
And the things you said well they left me
Left me no choice,
And you told me we had the power,
And you told me this was the hour,
But you don't know how,
If I could show you now.

Well I dreamed last night you were calling
Calling my name,
You were locked inside of your secrets
Calling my name,
And you told me lost was the key,
And you told me how you long to be free,
But that you don't know how,
Oh let me show you now.

Like a bird on a far distant mountain,
Like a ship on an uncharted sea,
You are lost in the arms that have found you,
Don't be afraid,
Love's plans are made,
Oh don't be afraid.

If there's a time and a place to begin love,
It must be now, let it go, set it free.

Oh I dreamed last night I was hearing
Hearing your voice,
Why did you say those things that have left me
Left me no choice?
When you told me we had the power,
Why did you tell me now was the hour?
But you don't know how,
Oh, let me show you now.

Like a bird on a far distant mountain,
Like a ship on an uncharted sea,
You are lost in the arms that have found you,
Don't be afraid,
Love's plans are made,
Oh don't be afraid.

If there's a time and a place to begin love,
It must be now, let it go, set it free.

Oh I dreamed last night I was hearing
Hearing your voice.

Stealing memes with wild abandon...

Thanks to Confessions for these...

I am: 41% Republican.

"Congratulations, you're a swing voter. When they say 'Soccer Mom', they mean you. Every Democratic ad on the TV set was made just for your viewing enjoyment. Don't you feel special?"

Are You A Republican?

And if we weren't all certain that I straddle the middle line without shame, here's proof. Mind you, I will note that there were several questions I wanted a third option for...

Your Political Profile

Overall: 55% Conservative, 45% Liberal

Social Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 100% Conservative, 0% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

How Liberal / Conservative Are You?

Mourning Carnivale

Well, crap.

Carnivale has been cancelled.

I'll post more later, but for now I'll just mourn the story whose ending I will never know...

Something serious, something silly

When I read something and it moves me so far that I am sitting crying at the keyboard, I think probably I should share it.

This man's blog may be one of the most honest and moving things I've ever read.

Now, those of you who know me know that there's no way I could be called Christian in any orthodox sense of the word (and probably not in most unorthodox senses either). I do feel like I'm living my life well if I can honor Christ's "summary of the law:" "Love God with your whole heart and soul and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself." But I've utterly rejected the "Christian sub-culture" that RLP describes in the post linked above. And I can't imagine myself leaving the UUs. (Unless of course I started my own church, as I am wont to do. But it'd only be because the UUs are so very Apollonian and sometimes I need more ritual, and sometimes more down-and-dirty emotion, than what you find in most UU churches.)

But I do still wonder... obviously what moves this guy is the need to share compassion, healing, and hope. All pretty darned admirable qualities. All things that I consider my core values (even when I am less-than-perfect at embodying them most of the time). Yet to me, those are the core values of any religion. What is different about each religion is the "trappings," the practices and rituals and dogma and theology (or lack thereof) surrounding those core values. And it seems that he's rejected the "trappings" of Christianity. So why does he still feel the need to work within Christianity? Why is it not possible to share compassion, healing, and hope without worrying about what religious label is on it? For that matter, why put any religious label on it? Why is that not just part of being a good human? (I guess the reason I'm a UU is that I automatically ask questions like this. Have all my life. Hopeless, that's me. :) Yet I feel the existence of Something Else too, which is why I'm not strictly a humanist. I accept that I am a paradox sometimes.)

That said, I honor this guy's honesty in telling his story. Having gone through my own "dark night of the soul" a few years ago (which I ought to write about sometime, about feeling like we were all just "meat robots" driven to produce more "meat robots" and that everything else about self-actualization was meaningless... not a fun experience, but necessary to go through) I know how hard it can be. I honor that he shared his own experience; that's even more difficult than the experience itself, sometimes.

(And incidentally, I got a personal "answer to prayer" out of his discussion of that, about "love is not something you feel, but something you do." I would add that the correlary is that saying the word "love" isn't as important as *doing* the word "love." I needed to hear that right now; it answered a personal concern. Don't you love it when the universe gives you things like that?)

And if more Christians were like this guy, I think there would be a lot more Christians. I'm not saying I'd be one of them, mind you. But I think --regardless of the label-- that the Entheos I honor and the God this guy worships despite his doubts, if they're not one and the same, they surely are drinking buddies.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Oh, the silly? Spamalot got 14 Tony nominations! Yay Monte Python! Yay Tim Curry!

This is either really crazy, or really clever...

The jury's still out for me. :)

Children With Nature-Deficit Disorder

Interestingly, my "gentleman friend"* and I were discussing this recently and he made almost this exact point, including the assertion that there is a heck of a lot that the Scouts could do for modern children. And the comments in the blog where I found the article indicate that it matches what parents are seeing. Certainly one of the worst punishments I can give my kids is to take away "screen time" -- more of a threat to the boy, but a significant threat to either of them.

That said, when they can find other kids in the neighborhood (which often is a challenge), my two do like to go outside and play. And this article also makes me feel less guilty about letting them - I mean, I do kinda live in "da hood" and there are times when Da Boy takes off for several hours with friends without my being completely certain of every place he is and every thing he's doing. I do always know which of two or three houses he's going to be playing in or around (all pretty much right next to one another), and if I needed him I could always wander that way and bellow - I've done it before when he's missed a check-in time.

I guess my only question would be, is fear of abduction a "bogeyman syndrome" as the author asserts? My daughter is 9 and noticeably attractive (and I'd accuse myself of being an over-doting parent if all her life, total strangers hadn't walked up to me in public places and said, "Your daughter is so beautiful!" And that she looked like the Pepsi Girl, which she got thorougly sick of being called. :) In fact, a friend who is a photographer has a picture of her in his portfolio and says he gets more compliments on this photo than on all his others combined. Okay, now I'm bragging; someone tell me to shut up. :) ). Is a concern with her safety being overprotective? I have come to the recent conclusion that I am a seriously overprotective parent, an uncomfortable but unmistakeable conclusion after reading a couple of really useful books. And I don't know where the line is between being reasonably concerned for their safety, and being over-protective.

But I do know they're going to camp this summer, and they're certainly outside ALL the time with Little League (with both of them playing, I feel like I have no life anymore that's not at the ballpark, for pete's sakes!), so they ARE getting some nature time. I guess I can feel less guilty than I did before.

(Note, of course, that I'm discussing the lack of nature time and preponderance of computer/video game time WHERE?... :) Remember, God is an iron...)

(Ooh, the "God Is An Iron" short story is on line! For anyone who has not read this, or for that matter hasn't read Spider Robinson, I strongly encourage it.)

----------

* As an aside, what is the accepted term for someone that you're dating when you're my age? "Boyfriend" sounds juvenile; "guy I'm dating" is kinda clunky; "friend" accords him no more importance than any other male friend, which doesn't seem quite right as I've got rather a lot of male friends; "significant other" is stodgy; "partner" implies a relationship level beyond "dating"...

Apparently, from what I've found in a quick Google search, I'm not the only one who wonders this. And after reading this, I think I may need to re-think my "friend" comment above. I mean, what happens in private is, by definition, private, and doesn't need to be advertised in the term you use for someone, right? Let's face it, using a term other than "friend" is arguably an attempt to either show off that you are dating --something I'll admit to being guilty of as darnit, I think the guy's amazing :) --or a way to show "ownership," to "mark your territory," which is something I believe is a serious flaw in the way our society views relationships.

Still, using "friend" for both someone I'm dating and someone I'm not might make people think I have the same type of relationship with both of them, which is obviously not accurate.

I'll have to think about this and come back to it later...

Thanks to Confessions for fixing the link to this. :)

You Are 35% Left Brained, 65% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

Yeehaw, Jihad!

This is darned funny.

(BTW, my Unitarian Jihad name is "Sister Katana of Warm Humanitarianism". :) )

On a more serious note, here's a link to a conversation I'm having on the Coffee Hour UU Blog site about what UU-ism is, and about personal truth and challenge. It's so hard to find accurate words for these concepts...