Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Why look, I haven't posted in almost a year...

So I suspect no one is reading this anymore. :)

Anyway. Turned 42 yesterday, had a good birthday weekend. Am quite happy with my life: good family, good friends, career I enjoy -- I can't complain. :)

And ok. I'm not a poet; I don't pretend to be. But I was feeling deeply last night, and this is what came out...

(And if my inspiration is reading this, thank you. You know who you are. ;) )


Always before, it was the roaring surf,
The tidal wave,
Rushing in and dragging me out to sea.
Will I or won't I? It didn't matter:
I was in over my head,
Tempest-tossed, without choice,
Swept away in emotional turmoil,
That, often as not, ended as quickly as it began,
Leaving me stranded on the shore,
Gasping for breath--
And alone.

This... this is different.
A quieter beginning; a slow crescendo.
I examine, I wade, I explore.
No submerged rocks, nothing lurking in the depths,
Nothing but waves lapping gently at my feet,
Inviting me, beguiling me with possibility:
"Come on in-- the water's fine."

And so.
I stand at the edge,
Gather my courage,
And choose to dive.

And fine it is.
The water is clear and cool,
Over my head, but not drowning me.
Exhilarated, joyful, unafraid,
I surface, taking clean, even strokes:
Years of thrashing against the current has made me stronger.
The water surrounds me and supports me.
No longer at the mercy of the undertow,
I duck beneath another wave and come out laughing.
Finally I understand
just how much fun this can be!

Friday, February 06, 2009

As of today, I no longer have 'children'...

...I have TEENAGERS!

Yes, my daughter turned 13 today.

Actually, 2009 is a significant year for me in the parenting realm - this year, one turns 13, one turns 16...

(Yeesh. How am I this old? :) )

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Snowpocalypse 2009!

So far, it's made it to tied for 7th on the list of largest snows in Indy: http://www.crh.noaa.gov/news/display_cmsstory.php?wfo=ind&storyid=21458&source=0

But it's nothing to us 'old fogies' who remember the Blizzard of '78. :)

(WOW, that makes me sound old...)

What's bad is my car isn't starting. Not that I could get it out of my complex yet anyway, but it'd be nice if it would run once the roads get cleared. Thank goodness I can work from home.

What's worse is my daughter is sick, on the day we get the most snow she's seen in her lifetime, so she can't go out and play in it! I suspect I will hear MUCH whining later on... :)

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

I live in a BLUE STATE!!!!!

And I didn't have to move to do it!

It's way too late, but we had to stay up and watch Obama's acceptance speech. And then I made the mistake of getting on line and hitting sites like Google's election coverage site, and fivethirtyeight.com ... not good when I should be sleeping.

But at least I was awake when Indiana -finally- got called.

I've never lived in a blue state. Well, Indiana's had a lot of Democratic governors (and currently has a Republican... surprisingly, one I approve of, because he strikes me as a lot closer to what a Republican is supposed to be than what the party's become)... but this state has went for the GOP in presidential elections since before I was born.

But not now!

Lookie, my vote COUNTED this time.

My conservative friends (yes, I have a couple) tell me, "Yeah, let's see how happy you are about this come April 15 when your taxes go up." I find myself thinking of the scene in 1776, when John Adams and I believe Rutledge are arguing (as always), and Rutledge seems to think that Adams is pushing for independence because "your taxes are too high -- well sir, so are mine." When the point was NOT that the taxes were high, or not primarily the point; the point was that policy was being imposed from a government that seemed to be totally disconnected from those whom it governed. That the colonists felt disempowered, and disenfranchised, and insignificant, to those who were supposed to lead them.

And I think that's how many of us have felt for the past 8 years. I don't think staunch conservatives -understand- how totally disenfranchised so many of us have felt. How disempowered we've felt. How it has seemed like everyone in 'power' stood for beliefs, ideas, and paradigms that felt so totally alien to me. And how much it has felt like they absolutely did not care one iota how the 'average American' felt: they had their own agenda, and to **** with anyone else.

I keep hearing, "it's the economy, stupid." Or else I hear that it's about race. But I don't think that's been the whole story at all.

I think Barak Obama will be our next POTUS because he has the gift of empowering leadership. He has gotten a record number of people engaged in the political process this time around, because somehow he's managed to give people a vision of a nation where each person -matters-.

Yes, the economy is a large problem, but I think it's only one part of a larger problem, one that started with Vietnam and has never quite went away: a sense of disillusionment. With the government. With the 'system.' With our leadership.

Obama has reminded us that this country was not just founded on the promise of financial opportunity. It was founded on the promise of -ideaological- opportunity. Of liberty and equality.

Until now, it's been fashionable to be cynical. But I think that's been to hide the pain we've felt as a society, for being so let down, for falling so short of our ideals.

And now, suddenly, it seems that this election tells us that the idealists are still a majority in this country after all.

THAT gives me hope.

Friday, September 12, 2008

My kid's gonna be in a hurricane!

But safely, in Austin, where they're expecting rain and wind, but nothing else.

Unlike the poor folks in Houston/Galveston, who it looks like are going to get hit HARD.


But, he did get a half-day off school today, because thousands of the evacuees are heading towards Austin and they're trying to keep the kids from getting caught in the evacuation traffic. (And freeing up schools to serve as shelters...)

You know, I'd wondered why they had make-up days on his school calendar. I'm used to having them because of snow, but that's obviously not an issue in Austin. :)

Now I know... to make up for 'hurricane days'!

What a belated 15th birthday present for him, huh.

(How is it possible that I am the mother of a 15-year-old now???)

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Ooh, music...

I'm now in love with imeem.com - especially since some kind soul has uploaded the entirety of my favorite album of all time*, which I have made into a playlist for those of you who would like to share:

Spock's Beard's "Snow" on imeem.com

This is a concept album - the "story" it's telling, and the lyrics to the songs, are here:


In other news, my daughter is doing well in 7th (!!) grade [in Indy], my son started high school today (!!!!!) [in Austin], and I'm now working out of our new office on the west side, which is pretty darned cool. Since it's only 4 of us, and we all know each other, it's still not a formal 'workplace' but definitely makes it easier to communicate.

Besides which, I got to help with the layout and design of the office space, so it feels more personal to me, I guess. :)

* Note: Great Big Sea is still my favorite band of all time (and you can use that link to hear some of my favorite songs by them). However, Spock's Beard wins my personal award for putting together the best album. :)

Thursday, July 10, 2008

My boy has moved!

I lost the bet; I cried at the airport. :)

Kids are off on their usual summer jaunt to their Dad's... but only my daughter will return; my son has decided to move in with his dad and become a Texan! Since he's starting high school this year (can you IMAGINE???) it was a logical year to make the transition if he was going to do it.

And, because I'm me and therefore incapable of feeling without analyzing :) I noticed a difference between feeling sad and being upset. I'm not upset about his moving. I don't tell myself any negative stories about it ('he doesn't love me, I'm being abandoned, etc.') I know he loves me; I'm fortunate in that I don't ever question that from my kids. And, I understand that a teenage guy really needs a DAD around as he's growing up, and that the ADHD probably will do better in the more structured household that isn't being run by a grown-up ADHDer. :) I'm excited that he has the opportunity, because he's going to get to go to a very good high school, one of the best in the country; and I'm proud of him for having the courage to take what is a big leap into the unknown for an almost-15-year-old.

And, even though I am not upset about his move, I am sad that I won't see him very often (yearly visits, like his dad gets now), and won't see the day-to-day changes, and be there when he comes home from his first date, and when he gets his license (OK, maybe I won't be sad about missing THAT part. I have enough grey hairs already, thanks! :) ) and all that. Little stuff, like not being with him on his birthday.

Ah, change. You'd think that since it's constant, we'd all get more used to it, but no one really seems to, do they?