Before and After

I think the lyrics to these two songs sum up where I was two weeks ago and where I am today with such precision that no other words are necessary...

-=Then=-

Cheryl Wheeler, "Addicted"

She says she hates to sleep alone but she'll do it tonight
She wants to grab her telephone but she knows it's not right
So if he won't call she'll survive
And if he don't care she'll get by
Climb into bed, bury her head and cry, cry

From the beginning he was all anyone could been
They were delirious with love, they were certain to win
Now he's breaking plans more and more
And he's leaving notes on her door
'took a trip out of town, couldn't turn this one down'
He said 'I guess I should have told you before'

(Chorus)
She says she feels like she's addicted to a real bad thing
She's always sitting, waiting wondering if the phone will ring
She knows she bounces like a yo-yo when he pulls her string
It hurts to feel like such a fool
She wants to tell him not to call or come around again
He doesn't need her now at all the way that she needs him
She's on the edge about to fall from leaning out and in
And she don't know which way to move

She wants to be fair, she couldn't say he was ever unkind
But if she could bear to walk away, she thinks he wouldn't mind
'cause he just keeps himself so apart
And there's no one else in her heart
So she's taking a dive from an emotional high
And coming down hard

She's determined to try, but she'll still give in when he gives her a call
And she'll ask herself why, but in the end it won't matter at all
Sure she could sit at home, stay inside
And sleep alone with her pride
And as she walks out her door, she feels as weak as before
With nothing to hide

(Chorus)

-=Now=-

Fred Small, "Other Side Of The Wood"

We met in the quiet of the meadow
We rambled hand in hand through the glade
We lay entwined on a pallet
Of clover and columbine made
But now the forest fills with shadows
And the raven and the wolf call your name
And you wonder how you ever came to wander
So deep into this unknown terrain

CHORUS:
So go your way I cannot hold you
Nor would I detain you if I could
I will wait for you in the clearing
On the other side of the wood

How I would speed to your rescue
Through the darkwood so wild and overgrown
But where you go I cannot follow
The staff you hew must be your own
For my comfort would only confine you
And my love would close about you like a shroud
All my fears for you would confound you
All my fears for myself would drag you down

CHORUS

I know the wind will tell you stories
And every tale come to a bloody end
But somewhere in that dread parade of possibilities
Is it possible I am your friend

To walk with a companion is a blessing
To forfeit one's freedom is a curse
To open the heart's wounds is agony
To bind them tight is even worse
Wherever the light before you leads you
And whether you find me or no
My love will travel softly at your shoulder
And abide with you wherever you may go

CHORUS

(As a complete aside, why should it not surprise me that Fred Small, my all-time favorite folk singer who almost no one else has heard of, is a UU minister? I just discovered this with a net search. Small world!)