Chrysalis

Well, if I ever remotely questioned that coaching people through emotional processing was my business partner and anam cara's* true lifework and vocation, I have no doubts now. I was stressed last night over money and my daughter's illness (they want to take her to Riley for yet more tests, and I don’t want her to have to go through all that again!). And what began as a phone conversation about my fears over that and several other things, turned into him processing me for almost two-and-a-half hours (!) last night. I can't tell you precisely what happened, but I know that wherever he took me inside myself was someplace I have never been before. And from how... disjointed?... I feel today, I suspect that I've never been -close- to there before.

I feel... I don't know words for this mix of feelings, actually. A little raw, as if a layer were scoured away that I've never been under before; a little uncertain. But not unpleasantly so; just very new, as if I'm re-learning parts of my heart that had almost atrophied with disuse. As if a change has begun that I now just need to leave alone for a while, to allow it to work under the surface. Chrysalised, if that's a word.

So I'm going to be quiet, for a change, and let whatever is happening, happen.

* "...the anam cara, the notion of soul friendship. Anam is the word for soul, and cara is the word for friend. When you had an anam cara friend, it was as if you were joined in an eternal way with a friend of your soul, in some incredible recognition of the sublime affinity between the two. Originally, the myth was that each human was two in one, but they were split and separated, consequently they spent most of their lives searching for their other half. In the Celtic idea of the anam cara, the anam cara is the other half that you have been missing. In coming into the gift and grace of friendship, you enter into your own fullest completion. You are also being gifted with a dimension of your soul that was hungry and lost and is now found. That kind of attraction, passion, affinity and belonging is a profound experience of birthing one’s own identity." --John O'Donohue